Minutes20150921
From KGB Wiki
EXEC REPORTS
Mike
had a weekend
involved voluntarily getting locked in the room and then having to solve puzzles to get out
indoctrinated into another xander cult?
Skye
had a weekend
not as funny as her day
people in the class got to talk about their new form of government
new people
victor, cs, maryland, freshman
Dillon
had a weekend
started with the event! fun! games!
saturday! ITR! Fun!
got 4 hours of sleep, woke up for 1st buggy rolls. went better than expected.
EVENT
GBGC
porter A18* 7pm friday
bring your board games!
please
erin
had a weekend
long and busy
event! orientation! ITR! brunch!
many of these things were a jolly good time
SUBMIT TO PRAVDA
by emailing eeb@andrew
or corsec@cmukgb.org
zora
had a weekend
joe
had a weekend
big and complicated and SECRET
did not sleep last night
did this morning
also a pun
murphy
had a weekend
event! itr! perogis!
someone may have gotten food poisoning
COMMITTEE REPORTS
thing on a string in conj with thing committee in conj with thingless:
thing is on a necklace! it's
swear of the week:
FARBERNUGEN
...it means six?
no it means the enjoyment derived from driving your automobile
silly freshmen
why that word order for painting the fence
poss misap existing
success
not misap existing committee
failure
it'll be explained
tim has mike's sweatshirt string?
shit jokes
which are the smartest letters?
the wise
ad hoc my arm just feels most comfortable like this
yep
roomba army
error! please move the roomba, then restart
ad hoc committee to not pay the KGB:
if you give joe a check in the shape of a ring, will he also never cash it?
joe is silent
OLD BUSINESS
the thing!
uh. something isn't nika's fault this week
NEW BUSINESS
robot liberation: vincent is free! and the rest will be soon, too!
roomba army approves
they're going to recapture him
apparently it's INCREDIBLY hard to implement the three laws of robotics
we need to rescue herb from the fishbowl
if you liberate the robots, they're just gonna die
PASSES
$1 to Skye, skye will chair
witchcraft and hellfire pyramid scheme: xander told marlena that if she recruited 6 new people to his cult she would be promoted
it's a good idea
john oliver created a televangelist church
"please, we really don't want your seed"
people sent him seeds
"no, really, please"
then they sent him sperm
he shut down the church
(they're donating the money)
FAILED
committee to teach old people how to use computers: yeah pretyt much that
erin's advisor doesn't know how to attach more than one file to an eamil
dylan's grandma took PHOTOS OF PICTURES ON HER COMPUTER SCREEN and uploaded to facebook
harry's mom called him down from his room to help her close windows
she's owned a mac for years
"what the fuck do you do, siri?"
IMSENDINGYOUTHISEMAILSTOP
ipads make great paperweights
PASSES
$1 to erin, anyone who has successfully taught an old person how to use an electronic devicce
you have to do this assignment in pencil: manic sharpening
you know, mechanical pencils are just great
not for art!!
HANDWRITTEN CLASSES WITH DUE DATES AT 9AM
erin takes her math tests in pen
mike once took a test in red ink
and forgot. and freaked out.
when skye took calc 2, the profs said they would give extra points to people who did their tests in sharpie
PASSES
$2 to Joe, everyone with horrific assignment reqs that have no impact on the assignment will chair
my arm also feels very comfortable like this and that's all: eventually mike won't know who to call on
this shoulder would like to say fuck you to your shoulder
brian
nope
jeffrey
nope
frieder
nope
there was a gym class in high school where your team had to make animal noises to find each other
whale noises you win
tim
nope
PASSES
$1 to frieder, brian and frieder will chair
EXEC REPORTS
skye
new people
chris, ece, philly, five fingers on right hand
NEW BUSINESS
you have to pay attention in meetings: TRUE FEAR
and that's how we lost the water buffalo
murphy was also surprised
he was having a conversation with frieder between frieder's computer and murphy's watch
from four feet away
out of order committee: very happy
PASSES
$1 to frieder, frieder will chair
exec get it together: we have old business
OLD BUSINESS
secret soviet spies committee
motion to table this committee for one hour
PASSES
NEW BUSINESS
voice actor zoo: to put nick, jane, and jeff in their own pen where they can make incredibly unsettling animal noises
motion to add espy and nika as per ITR
only if they're ok with it
yeah we're next to a preschool
PASSES
$1 to joe, the KGB, but only when they're in cages will chair
crosshatching committee: one, two, three, FUCK
it's a good idea
PASSES
$1 to murphy, six people will chair: murphy erin frieder joe mike dammit (chris)
motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for supplies for the event
PASSES
guess what day it is: to remind all mikes in the vicinity what day it is
eight days a week
how is it monday
hey erin, hey erin, guess what FUCKING day it is
just another manic monday
WOO
PASSES
$1 to Erin, erin and ed and anyone else who really likes that commercial will chair
interactive alarm: murphy's alarm participated in his dream for a 20 minutes
once frieder had a dream that his alarm was a kgb meeting
committees were just beeping
chris's roommate's alarm is the john cena song
false awakenings are terrifying
PASSES
$1 to murphy, John Cena will chair
our lord and savior windows 95: it is never safe to shut down your computer
someone put windows 10 on their windows XP machine
without windows 95, what would the old lab machines run
joes server has been up for 37 days
WINDOWS IS REAL DUMB
looked for "windows 9" instead of "windows 98" etc
bye frieder
don't try to install a windows 95 thing on a later version of windows
everything will be terrible
PASSES
$3 to Kelly, Windows 95 will chair
inevigable mergers: goober
motion to create this shirt
created!
they're on redbubble
tinyurl.com/getgoober
joe's a goofy goober yeah
goober will use amazon drones
will it compete with the shadow corporation?
well, you see...it's very hard for a subsidiary to commit
request report from the syndicate
they syndicate is very excited to steal shit
PASSES
$1 to skye, the syndicate will chair
out of order in conj with the floor is lava:
the floor is lava
not out of order????
bouncing: can't stop bouncing
caffeine
motion to add caffeine to the committee:
only if it's injected
so mooved
you gotta work yourself up
start by drinking one coffee a day for a week
then the next week you drink FIVE and have a shot of espresso in the evening
storytime
ohhhhh the orientation seminars
there was one about drugs, alcohol, and sex
(what's sex?)
they were talking about amnesty
"what if i'm off campus and under the influence of coffee"
bud
according to line six of the housing contract, you're not allowed to have controlled substances in your dorm room
that means you aren't allowed to have meds in your dorm room
the only place you're prohibited to have keys that aren't yours is in the housing contract
if you live off campus you can have ALL THE KEYS
PASSES
$2 to Joe, trampolines will chair
campus laws loopholes: we are in no way trying to exploit the ambiguities presented in campus laws
you can request new furniture but not have it removed
the weapons policy has an interesting loophole regarding knives and swords
if there's a multitool longer than a knife, you can have that knife
name changed to "influencing the freshmen to do irresponsible things"
loopholes like this don't exist, and if they did, we'd be the last to know
fun story
at 2am, ab tech folks were at steak and shake
the head decided to reassemble his folding knife at a steak and shake
it was sketch, so he would hid it whenever the waitress came over
also, kesden was in the corner. they didn't know he was there.
PASSES
$3 to Maddie, maddie will chair
this committee is not endorsed by the KGB as an organization
ANNOUNCEMENTS
EVENT
get board get carded!
friday, A18*, 7pm
bring your board games! it's fun!
everybody bring all your games!
you can request games by posting!
kgb rifle association--HvZ!
first week of october!
talk to skye
they'll be stabling at some point
ctfws rules committee!
we actually do stuff
we're gonna be meeting to discuss, revise, find loopholes in, etc the ctfws rules
talk to mike or dillon if you're interested!
we get dinner after meetings!
resnik!
exec meetings
meet weds, 7:30, UC 319
CTFWS DATE
friday, november 13 in probably dh 2315
dues
they expire on 9/30!
$15/semester, $20/year
SCHMUCKS
brunch!
sunday morning, in schatz! it's fun! the food's pretty good!
had almost maximum dillon/dylan capacity
committee for inevitable mergers
selling tshirts!
tinyurl.com/getgoober
nick's selling baked goods!
go talk to them!
we are in purple
