Minutes20150831
From KGB Wiki
officer reports
mike
had a summer
taught some children
did some other stuff
i missed this report
skye
had a summer
new people
omar, biomed & chem engineering, from ny, but from queens
maddie, art, ohio,
xinyu, (X), singapore, has black hair, major???
nathan, virginia, meche, likes sleeping
shivo??, forgot a belt, masters engineering, place?
nathan, scs, massachusetts, monolingual english speaker (…modern languages)
nika, archie, from nyc, has a fave pizza place
we have an event!
potluck in the park
5:15, friday, black chairs
we go to farpark
old people bring food! fill out the spreadsheet
young people we'll feed you
dillon (dylan)
had a summer
hung around cmu
took summer classes
hung out
erin
had a summer
worked hereish
occassionally drove to chicago
survived capstone election day!
SUBMIT TO PRAVDA
zora
had a summer
got a job
hated the job
got a different job
loved the job
started an anthology!
is already exhausted
joe
had a summer
did lots of things with roombas
including stomping on them
pun!
a hotel had a lot of ghosts so they got an Inn-specter!
murphy
had a summer
began with literally being iron man
WAS A VERY ACTIVE PERSON IN SF
no trees though
COMMITTEE REPORTS
ad hoc tales from sf
you know you got to the place with hippies when they ALL OFFER YOU ACID
ad hoc tales from sf
it is literally hell at 88f
constitutional revisionism
laughs maniacally
augh
adhoc tales from sf
there's a place where you can order not drinks but abstract concepts
adhoc tales from pgh
affordable rent
catspiracies theory
we're in
adhoc tails from pgh
anthrocon
constitutional revisionism committee
wouldn't it be nice if we needed >3 people at the annual meeting?
marlena tests the president
(murphy is very dead)
CHALLENGE
storytelling committee
(this is just a trick to get marlena in the front of the room)
so this summer, marlena was working on VIRTUAL REALITY
people apparently think it will make dollars this time
there are /challenges/ associated with it
some highlights from marlena's job
the nunchuck controllers are VERY CONVINCING
people drop them a lot. the tables are not real. don't fall through the table.
ceiling fans. they are dangerous.
valve had a controller. the only one prototype. people bopped the ceiling fan...and the controller exploded.
PEOPLE THREW THE VIRTUAL KITTENS
oh god they splatted the kittens
you can also move the PLAYER around really fast. including way up high
involuntary skydiving
OLD BUSINESS
the thing!
school is not ed's fault this week
NEW BUSINESS
committee for unintent skydiving: wheeeeeeee, splat.
change "wheeeeeee" to "screaming"
is this when you push skye off the diving board
change skydiving to "skye-diving"
change purpose to...something about gravity.
PASSES
$3 to Espy, Omar, frieder, marlena, and skye will chair
the cabinet: to annoy and legislate the shadow corp, the commune, and (coming soon) the syndicate
we should prob create a system of checks
change purpose to "storing small objects"
PASSES
change purpose to "lobbying small objects"
FAILS
prepend original purpose
PASSES
PASSES
$10 to Ed. He will chair.
kitten tennis committee: aw....NYOOM
CAN ERIN TAKE BACK HER SECOND
append "splat." to purpose
PASSES
motion to remove gravity
FAILS
change purpose to "kittens playing tennis"
FAILS
marlena solved this by making them tumble and get dizzy instead of splatting
skyes 112 project was "grand theft buggy"
yeah that's all we need. that's all we need to know.
cars exploded due to bad programming
PASSES
$3 to Ed, disbanded
KGBspan: better Cspan
motion to remove gravity
we are now in freefall
floor is lava committee reports
there's no gravity...EVERYTHING IS LAVA
motion to re-add gravity
SPLAT
PASSED by abstention
$1 to Skye. Skye will chair
the roomba army: beep beep motherfuckers
append "splat" to purpose
PASSES
ducttaping steak knives to roombas. not a good idea. don't do it
what if we attach balloons to the back of them too
replace "beep beep" with "beep beep waaaaaaaah" in purpose
PASSES
so in dc there are all these roombas with security clearences
they leave the pentagon pretty often
the way they have these clearences is that they say a three-sentence phrase
so you have roombas saying security clearence phrases to trees
THE ORIGINAL NAME FOR THE ROOMBA WAS CYBERSUCK
PASSES
$1 to Nick, Nick and all others with roombas will chair
pillowfight committee: hard or soft? there is a correct answer here, mike
hey guys, you know what the best part of inside jokes is? yeah, that
append splat
PASSES
motion to replace pillows with steak knives
hard or soft
(PASSES)
we're fighting over hard or soft knives with pillows
what if we bring guns to this committee
something something gun to a knifefight, you'll probably win
PASSES
$3 to Maddie, Maddie will chair.
jokes-to-oreo machine: step 1: jokes. step 2: ????. step 3: oreos
apple flavored oreos.
change "???" to "splat"
kraft singles flavored oreos.
change "splat" to "bugmars"
"we like bad jokes, not bad oreos"
PASSES
$1 to Erin. Anyone who either eats oreos or turns jokes into them will chair
motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for supplies for the events
PASSES
committee to remind exec in one year about something that is completely false: yeah p much that
tabled
exec get it apart committee: to get exec not to do whatever the exec get it together committee wants it to do
append ed to purpose
PASSES
change purpose to "keep members of exec as far apart as possible"
append splat to murphy
nope
committee to assassinate the pres looks at this favorably
MURPHY RETURNS
FAILS
committee to add more space to rooms by adding more stuff: computer club's machine room
you can request more furniture for your cmu apartment BUT NOT REQUEST THAT IT BE REMOVED
you can straight steal shit. thanks ed.
can also just get a bunch of grills in donner ditch
we ended up with 4 once
PASSES
$1 to murphy. The maintainance people will chair.
clarification of the word splat: we've been using it a lot. it means: a group of migrating lemmings, a common explative among octopi, a dessert commonly served while skydiving.
PASSES
$2 to Marlena. Marlena and anyone else who can come up with meanings for splat.
constitutional revisionism: to fix rahter alarming bugs in the constitution
are they spiders
some are centipedes
where is the constitution
the wiki, the bridge, our website
something something trump
a group of people trying to revise the const are called a "splat"
change purpose to "to open a giant can of worms"
FAILS but it was good
PASSES
$13 to Ed. Ed will chair.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
EVENT
potluck in the park
black chairs at 5:15
we're going to flagstaff
old people bring food. new people eat food
sign up to bring food: cmukgb.org/food
if pittsburgh happens (it rains) we'll be in PHA18*
exec meetings!
we meet at wednesdays at 7:30 pm! We do not know where, our room is broken.
Dinner!
we eat at resnik and eat outside when it's nice!
pay your dues!
there are perks! they involve votings and shirts
SCHMUCKS
frisbees at 4:30 on the cut on weds and fridays!
please sign ed's constitutional stuff!
computer club's talk series is starting again on wednesday!
kgb rifle association is having a nerf war on the cut next monday at 2!
they have an arsenal
message skye
caaaaaaaaaaaats
we are now in purple
