Minutes20130212
From KGB Wiki
OFFICER REPORTS
Broman
had a weekend
has been gone for a while, sort of
went to New York last Monday
for an interview that probably went well
got to fly home directly, at a reasonable hour
instead having to be at the airport at four in the morning and having a connection
has concluded flying operations for the next three weeks
Caroline
is stuck at the airport
"goddamn plane was so full so they had to check my bag"
and other beautiful texts
new people
Steven, MechE, South Florida, only has one pair of shoes that work in the snow
JRAM
had a Thanksgiving
had two Thanksgiving meals
got grad school applications done
played a lot of video games
it was a successful break
EVENT
KGB Falls On Its Ass
Friday, 8:30, PHA18A
we'll leave for the rink soon after that
cost $4, plus skate rental ($2.50)
OTHER EVENT
Geek Eat
at the Cheesecake factory, the reservation is for 5:00
meet at black chairs at 4:00
RSVP by the start of the event on Friday
Marlena
had a Thanksgiving
began with a 9:00am plane flight
got to see her dogs, who are fluffy
and also family, she guesses that was nice too
participated in three generational cook shenanigans
given her sister's love of showing her youtube videos, has now probably seen every single tf2 video on the internet
came back on a 6:00am flight
Zora
had a Thanksgiving
started on Tuesday, with baking pies
then catching a plane at 9:00 in the morning on Wednesday
Thanksgiving itself involved getting in a fight with their uncle about linguistics
then using a recording of Thanksgiving dinner, which included the fight about linguistics, to do a linguistics project
linguistics was a theme over break
also homework
then eventually they got back to Pittsburgh
Dillon
had a Thanksgiving
left campus at four in the morning
spent Thanksgiving working becuase his family is moving
still tons of food and tons of fun
got back late last night
Mike
had a weekend/Thanksgiving break
started with driving Zora to the airport at ass o' clock in the morning
made mashed sweet potatoes on Thursday
which included putting brown sugar on top and applying a blowtorch
and not buring the apartment down
Maija held the fire extinguisher
then watched a lot of media
and did not do work
COMMITTEE REPORTS
ad hoc I Feel Safe Committee
the TSA confiscated Frieder's Swiss Army Knife on the way back to Pittsburgh
but not on the way out
and not the other two knives that he brought back
ad hoc I Feel Safe Committee
at security for one of Dillon's flights there was nobody even WATCHING the x-ray machine
ad hoc I Feel Safe Committee
Maija misses her fire extinguisher
dkirby all of the committees, one of which is misappropriated
his family spent Thanksgiving complaining about Obamacare
ad hoc I Feel Safe Committee
there are a lot of coyotes in Texas
Marlena's neighbor offered to teach them tricks for dealing with them
also mentioned that they have a silencer
ad hoc Unfortunate Typo Committee
97% of public would prefer GMOs to be dangerous
ad hoc I Feel Safe Committee
half of Maija's jaw cracked really loudly just now
ad hoc Peace Love Turnpike Committee
what
ad hoc Minnesota Transportations Committee
they're building a whole airport across the state
in order to get from place to place, you just run across the airport
which covers the whole state
ad hoc New State Mottos Committee
Minnesota, the land of a thousand lakes and one airport
OLD BUSINESS
The Thing!
all the travel headaches caused in the coming week are not Stuart's fault
NEW BUSINESS
New Boots Committee: perform a series of tests on said boots to see if they are in fact made for walking
change all instances of "boots" to "booth"
PASSES
has she tried the Minnesota airport?
Booth Committee: this booth is NOT made for walking
change all instances of "booth" to "booooooooth"
PASSES
there's not three feet of clearance in those boots
Ethan was going to make a kinky boots joke
but now we can make a kinky booth joke
PASSES
$2 to McGinnis, disbanded
Naptime Committee: snoring
change purpose to "xxxxx chhhhhhh"
PASSES
change purpose to "darth vader breathing noises"
PASSES
during Marlena's 8:30 art class, everyone was really tired
so to wake them up the teacher made them line dance for 10 minutes
it worked
change purpose to "dark helmet breathing noises"
PASSES
your kitchen spices need their rest too
nap thyme
4
did Marlena really get new boots?
they look really smooth for reality
$3 to Ethan, you become a chair of this committee each day that you nap
Committer Committee: to commit and push
Frieder gets this joke
we aren't ready for this kind of committement
the KGB can't stand for this kind of subversion
change all instances of "Committer" to "Committer Critter"
PASSES
ad hoc I Got Beaten To The Get And Subversion Jokes Committee
mercurial, bitches
something about pull
I'm not a cs major so I don't understand what this commmittee is for loop
WHILE we're on this topic
motion to roll back this committee? I don't like these changes
FAILS
PASSES
$3 to Frosty, everyone shall chair
Apparently I'm Still Sleeping Committee: it's a dream it doesn't matter anyway
Daniel John Kirby Nightmare In Dreamland Committee
Oren kinda knew he was asleep
he was dreaming that he was in calc lecture
He was called on by the professor to do a problem on the board
He replied, "No thank you, Professor. I'm asleep, I don't have to do math."
you have to wake up
ad hoc Lucid Dream Committee: let's fly
Marlena will be accepting purpose changes for things that she has to do while she's asleep
change puropse to "buy a bagel and shoot the cashier"
sorry Ethan
FAILS
change purpose to ...something?
FAILS
change purpose to "always be squidding"
PASSES
change purpose to "[insert otherwise unattainable celebrity here]"
which one?
the one that you want the most
FAILS
insert unatainable actor WHERE?
you have to wake up
change purpose to that kickball thing
FAILS
change purpose to "buy this committee"
PASSES
misappropriated KGB Makes A Porno Committee: motion to change the purpose back to the one including second base
dilatory, poorly defined
PASSES
$13 to McGinnis, dkirby will chair
KGB TSA Committee: to be directly responsible for making sure that no one in this room will get home on time
change purpose to "to be directly responsible for making sure that no one in this room will get to kiltie on time"
PASSES
bar the doors
change all instances of "on time" to "with nailclippers"
FAILS
who brought a fire to the meeting?
append "with nailclippers" to the purpose
PASSES
$2 to Frieder, no one who will leave this place never will chair (so everyone)
Consensitive Committee: create unusual words sounding like things--like "predactive"
irrigardless
this is a wonturfferal idea
how does this committee feel about the concept of ethnophysics?
how many words do you think this committee will make? like, a guestimate?
more than threeve
how does this committee feel about pseudosyzygy?
PASSES
$3 to Frosty, McGinnis will chair
Committee Dedicated To Exploration, Discovery, And Research Of Space Pickles: to build a dillatorium
ad hoc Watchtower Committee: we found pickles in our fridge
they weren't put in there as pickles
motion to add suspicious quotation marks around the last word in the purpose
PASSES
Innovative Technologies Committee, in conjunction with the Dillontory Committee: approves
Skyentology: sorry about the abundance of space pickles
they weren't there to start
ad hoc USSR Committee: would like to rspond with a space potato
spudnik
it is Oren's opinion that space pickles are the only ones that can be used for pickle chips
to be eaten with grilled cheese sandwiches made from moon cheese
PASSES
$4 to Mike, Mike and the other chairs of the Innovative Technologies Committee will chair
Real Money? Committee: you mean we're supposed to pay real money for these?
change name to "Bitcoin"
FAILS
but real money is uncountable
what no
yipyipyipyipyipyipyip
Sharky Freshman Committee: would just like to get up and stomp around
PASSES
$1 to McGinnis, bitcoin users will chair
Appun Committee: yip yip
yipyipyipyipyipyipyip
how does this committee feel about the Sesame Street Aliens?
they are welcome in this universe
MY CABBAGES!
you're opening pundora's box here
like, from the movie
with the blue people
PASSES
$2 to Mike, eforney will chair
Out Of Committees Contingency Plan: we're gonna run out of committees at some point, we need a step by step plan for when that happens
has that ever stopped us before?
board games
are you aware that as a chair you can create subcommittees
with very little regulation
schmucks
really long schmucks
was that a dick joke
the obvious solution is to use red matter to open up a portal to another universe so we can use their committee
puns
yip
imagine it, a horrible distopia, youtube parties week after week
please don't joke
t h e c o m m i t t e e t o t a l k r e a l l y s l o w l y r e p o r t s s u p p o r t f o r t h i s s u g g e s t i o n
would this other universe have a strong antisecond?
scientists have informed us that by 2050 there will be no more puns or committees
you can help
get a hybrid committee-pun
get Marlena to wake up
motion to designate this universe KGB Prime in the interest of multiverse organization
out of order
on second thought, let's not go to the universe where committees aren't created
it's not a very silly place
PASSES
$4 to Frieder, the person who creates the last committee ever and he will chair
motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for food for the event contingency plan
PASSES
Last Committee This Committee Will Ever Be: to be the last committe this committee will ever be
change name and purpose to "Second Committee This Committee Will Ever Be: to be the second committee this committee will ever be"
PASSES
change name and purpose to "Last Committee This Committee Will Ever Be: to be the first committee this committee will ever be"
PASSES
change all instances of "committee" to "giraffe"
FAILS
Max Bid Committee: approves
motion to make this committee a subcommittee of the first subcommittee of the committee
dilatory
$1 to McGinnis, he doesn't know who will chair
Russel's Paradox Committee: to contain all subcommittees which do not contain themselves
change name to "Russel's Sprouts Committee"
PASSES
what if there is a subcommittee, somewhere out there
you can't prove it
math joke, physics joke, computer science joke, art joke
we're done here
change name to "No Subcommittee Left Behind"
PASSES
when do we have to take our 50 standardized tests?
No Child Left Unblind Committee: hey, I'm relevant!
oh my god Ethan could get a dog and name it Rage
so he could unleash Rage
PASSES
$3 to Frieder, every dog named Rage will chair
ANNOUNCEMENTS
EVENT
KGB Falls On Its Ass
meet in PH A18A at 8:30
bring cash
If weather prevents the event, we'll just be in the PHA18* rooms
OTHER EVENT
Geek Eat
Cheesecake Factory, Wednesday, Dec. 11
meet at the UC Black Chairs at 4:00pm
email exec by the start of the event on Friday to RSVP
Booth!
meeting on Sunday at 3:00 pm
mostly art discussion, probably
most of plot and construction planning has been finished
there will be a KGB meeting next Monday
we'll get out early so people can get to finals
it will be interesting
Broman promises
SCHMUCKS
Marlena needs your screams
no seriously, she needs to record them
talk to her!
dkirby is moving
he needs help to move a dresser and a tv
they're big
soon would be good
talk to him, he'll feed you
we are now in purple
