Minutes20130902

OFFICER REPORTS

   Broman
       had a weekend
       involved like 12 hours of magic and an hour of ITR and maybe 6 hours of diplomacy (7 hours?)
       did some other stuff that wasn't work
       still not doing work tonight because Bubbles invited him to play fantasy football

   Caroline
       had a week
       on the weekend got dressed up super fancy and went to a burger joint where the servers were REALLY confused
       fell over laughing about spaghetti at one point
       new people!
           (Name, Major, place of origin, uninteresting fact)
           Spencer, vocal performance, Vancouver, enjoys riding bikes
           Victoria, architecture, new jersey, has skin the color of pancake batter
               Melvin, architecture, Johto region, is yellow

   JRAM
       had a weekend
       invented a game called Dodge Frisbee, AKA You Should Be Running Why Aren't You Running
       also other things such as ITR and How to Brutally Betray Your Team Members in Halo
       EVENT!
           Underground tour
               Friday, 7:30, UC Black Chairs
               dress inconspicuously!

   Marlena
       had a weekend
       started with the event
       then woke up real early and went downtown and played games with strangers
           some of the games may appear at events in the future!
       didn't go to itr because she was exhausted after running for 10 hours
           watched Wall-E instead
       played...something on Sunday
       no one submitted to Pravda?, so there isn't a Pravda? this week!
           submit art, poems, writing!

   Zora
       had a weekend!
       Did homework, a lot of homework, but not enough homework, and cleaned the kitchen
       Feels accomplished even if they aren't sure anything actually got accomplished

   Dillon
       had a weekend a weekend
       went to the event (that was fun)
       participated in Dodge Frisbee (arguably less fun)
       played diplomacy on Sunday (again, arguably less fun)

   Mike
       is not Mike
       had a weekend
       played ITR, knows that because Dan was there
       after that there's just a mysterious haze
       pretty sure Dan bought a bike
           he is now in the cult

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   Ditto Committee: elekid!
   
   Untap of Places that Don't Exist Committee: Wean is more defendable for CtFwS because the exits on 3 and 4 no longer exist
   
   Whatever tvauhan's Mashup Committee Was: reports with Gangnam Train
   
   Bike Committee: welcomes its new members, dkirby and Spencer. They'll find you.
   
   Misappropriated We So White Committee: thank you
   
   Misappropriated Bike Committee: soon?
   
   Name of That Committee Committee: this is a report
   
   Committee to Assassinate the President: FIRE
   
   Alcoholist Committee: initial foray to Stacks was 2/3 successful.
       Reccommends the Long Island Iced Tea but not whatever that blue one was
   
   Committee to Not Split Infinitives: Failure
   
   ad hoc Comittee to Prevent West Wing's Fire Alarm From Going Off: Failure
   
   ad hoc Latin is a Dead Language Would You Please Stop Using It Committee: Failure
   
   LATIN WORDS Committee: reports
   
   ad hoc French Words: French should be the semi-oficcial language of the KGB because French was actually used in Russia
   
   ad hoc Ukranian Committee: We should just go all the way back and use Ukranian as our official language
   
   'Murica Committee: Is not happy with any of this.
   
   ad hoc Russian Words: RUSSIAN WORDS ((it seemed unhappy, but that might just be Russian))
   

OLD BUSINESS

   The Thing
       Alex has thing
       Stupid things he does are not his fault this week

   The Committee Which Will Take 7 Years to Pass: to take 7 years to pass
       motion to postpone for 7 more years?
           we've gone about this REALLY hastily!
           motion to call Glisson and tell him to get his butt over here
               out of order
           eforney is definitely both older and taller than McGinnis
           proposal withdrawn
       change all instances of "pass" to "pass gas"
           FAILS
       change purpose to "take 7 lightyears to pass"
           FAILS
       change purpose to "to have passed 7 years ago"
           PASSES
       change all instances of "pass" to "fail"
           FAILS
       motion to postpone for 7 years
           FAILS
       change all instances of "7" to "8"
           FAILS
       motion to stop asking about the number 7
           only 90s kids will get this joke
       PASSES
       $50 to Margaret, Margaret and Evan Danaher will chair

NEW BUSINESS

   The Committee That Will Pass 7 Days From Now: to pass 7 days from now
       sooooooon
       change purpose to "to have passed 7 days ago"
           PASSES
       change name to "The Committee That Will Pass 7 Years From Now", purpose to "eught"
           PASSES
       The Committee to Test the Rec Sec approves
       motion to postpone for 7 years
           we should use next largest prime number (11)
           if it's not on a Monday, the next meeting afterwards
           changed to the time of the postponement to 7 years, rounded to the nearest Monday
           FAILS
       change all instances of "days" to "wonders"
           PASSES
       change all instances of "years" to "wonders"
           PASSES
       change purpose to "to have passed 7 wonders ago"
           PASSES
       PASSES
       $7 to Drew, ccolombo will chair
       Name and purpose now: "The Committee That Will Pass 7 Wonders From Now: to have passed 7 wonders ago"

   The 2 Armies Problem Sabotoge Committee: To make sure the peace treaty between the loyalists and the rebels never gets to its destination
       change name to "Sidewalk Loyalists Committee" and purpose to "to get rid of rebel scum"
           PASSES
       change all instances of "rebels" to "bells"
           PASSES
       change all instances of "bells" to "hell"
           PASSES
       change all instances of "scum" to "bugmars"
           PASSES
       change all instances of "hells" to "humans"
           PASSES
       PASSES
       $3 to drew, DISBANDED THE REBELS WILL TRIUMPH

   Sidewalk Rebels Committee
       dilatory

   Committee With a Different End: Committees used to fail in interesting ways. Then we made more money off more interesting committees. See, this one's not interesting
       FAILS

   Quantum Mechanics Committee: to travel through time, righting all wrongs
       motion to indefinitely postpone so the committee doesn't collapse into a single state
           PASSES

   The Committee to Take it Easy on the Rec Sec: EVIL LAUGHTER
       change each "ha" to "bugmars"
           PASSES
       change each successive syllable to the next odd number
           PASSES
       change each nth odd number to each nth Mersenne prime
           PASSES
       PASSES
       $6 to Victoria, Melvin will chair
       Name and purpose now: Fuck you figure it out yourself

   Quantum Mechanics Union: to ensure wellbeing of all those who work on quanta
       something something bugmars
       motion to measure the speed of this committee
           PASSES, good luck
       fuck you scott walker
       change all instances of "union" to "intersection"
       change all instances of "intersection" to "anion"
       motion to measure the position of the committee
           in the shop?
       PASSES
       $2 to Skittles, McGinnis will chair

   Motion to allocate $150 for the next two events!
       It's more than usual because food for the Underground Tour is expensive
       Vegetarian count: 3
       you can absolutely get your burger without cheese
       PASSES

   The Out of Order Committee
       fails for lack of a purpose

   The Real-tea Party: throwing tea into bodies of water
       change purpose to "to sell houses"
           PASSES
       PASSES
       $2 to Skittles, eforney will chair

   The SAT Prep Committee: to give the KGB a vocab word of the day
       change name to "The 3SAT Prep Committee"
           PASSES
       change all instances of the letter "t" to "a drink with jam and bread"
           PASSES
       change all instances of "vocabulary words" to "math problems"
           FAILS
       PASSES
       $3 to eforney, linguists will chair (which is to say everyone)
       Name and purpose now: "a drink with jam and breadhe 3SAa drink with jam and bread Prep Commia drink with jam and breada drink with jam and breadee:
           a drink with jam and breado give a drink with jam and breadhe KGB a vocab word of a drink with jam and breadhe day"

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT!
       Underground Tour
           UC Black Chairs, Friday, 7:30 p.m.
       learn all the dark secrets of CMU
       dress inconspicuously
       Posters!
           take some and put them places!
           or, print some out and put them in places ON CAMPUS
               you can find them at cmukgb.org, on the propaganda page
               try not to put more than 1 on any one bulletin board
               interesting placements are good, bad placements are bad

   puzzlehunt planning meeting
       Porter A19, Tuesday, 9:30 pm
       actual Puzzlehunt will be on Oct 12!

   pay your dues!
       $20/year, $15/semester
       they make you a real voting member, able to vote on real important stuff!
       also you get discounts on tshirts
       Pay Dillon then give Zora your andrewID

SCHMUCKS

   Steven is missing a nerf gun! (Nevermind, we found it)

   Activities Fair
       Wednesday at 4:30 on the CFA lawn
       everyone should go, but especially freshmen
       you can learn about all the student organizations
       all the buggy orgs will be there

motion to purple and getfood