Minutes20142701
From KGB Wiki
OFFICER REPORTS
Broman
Had a weekend
it's a good thing that his class before KGB is right upstairs, because it always lets out late
also, KGB does not accept late work
you may not have seen it, but it was on the syllabus, and late work will not be accepted
James
had a weekend
promised he'd get his work done on Saturday, got set up with all his books
and by the end of the day he had beaten Assassin's Creed 4
set the tone for the rest of the weekend
new people
J, physics (currently) maybe switching to CS, Philadelphia area, usually wears almost always black
JRAM
had a weekend
did a fair amount of work and grading
saw the Pixies
EVENT
UPA
Friday, 7:00, MM A14
auction yourself off for 6 hours or bid on people
please send us blurbs!
exec@cmukgb.org
maybe also send them to jrettere@andrew.cmu.edu to be sure
sometimes we have email trouble
useful things that you may be able to do:
DMing, car, can computer, making things, drawing things, public performance, have limbs, not have limbs
lots of other things
Marlena
had a weekend
went to the ETC on Friday
didn't move from that building for over 48 hours
it was really fun and ended up kind of pretty!
got maybe 10 hours of sleep over that time
came home and felt reasonably awake
slept for ten more hours
and then hated everything
Zora
had a weekend
Boothed! Successfully!
Also cut off all Mike's hair
Dillon
had a weekend
sat down with all his books
proceeded to watch the first three seasons of Archer
Mike
had a weekend
got violently ill on Friday after booth
Saturday happened, sort of
no longer has hair
it's cold
their hat is missing
did all their other homework on Sunday, instead of the lab report that was the original goal
COMMITTEE REPORTS
Committee To Teach You All Sign Language
winter and very cold are almost the same symbol
Real Actual OTP Committee
self awareness x tumblrs privacy policy
Illustrious Journalists Collective
a guy died
someone was arrested
policework is a waste of time
someone hates their kid
that was nice
ad hoc Unillustrious Journalist Collective
a guy walked into a store, bought somehting, and left
Shit I Read In The Tartan Committee
there was excessive noise from partying in the Mudge piano room
when the police showed up, they discovered that exotic dancers had been hired
ad hoc Supply And Demand Committee
if you're the only person with a sleeping bag at a hackathon people are jealous
they glare a lot
KGB Marionette Committee
the floor. It is lava.
the recsec is immune, suckers
also apparently the president is wearing the presidential boots of lava resistance
War On Christmas Committee
332 days until it can report again
Skyentology Committee
presents a text from someone in Florida
"if you're cold, wear more clothes"
ad hoc Broetry And Storytelling Committee
"The Broad Not Taken (at least, not the way I would have liked)" Brobert Frost and eforney
this poem is dirty
ad hoc Imagination Committee
MY EYES
ad hoc Help I'm Trapped Under A Table
help, Frieder is trapped under a table
ad hoc Ubiquitous Poster Committee
you're not here because you fart
Real Actual OTP Committee
would like to request report from the Illustrious Journalist Collective in conjunction with the Committee For Inappropriate And Awkward Musical Accompaniment
Illustrious Journalist Collective in conjunction with the Committee For Inappropriate And Awkward Musical Accompaniment:
Xander bagpipe solo
Real Actual OTP Committee
would like to request a report from the Guild of Calamitous Intent and the Evil Seafood League
Evil Seafood League
...Xander bagpipe solo
and the Guild of Calamitous Intent would like to report
different Xander bagpipe solo
ad hoc Reccomended Tumblr Committee
peoplescanningqrcodes.tumblr.com exists and contains no posts
Innovative Technologies Committee
opening applications for summer internsips
want:
an intern to stand next the xerox machine and turn it on continuously
it likes to turn itself off, so it's never on when they need it
there's someone watching us through the window, we need an intern to watch them back
also an intern to bring coffee
they need a lot of coffee because sleep is not allowed
ad hoc Skye Needs A Job Committee
Skye is very good at staring at stuff
SCP Committee
needs interns to fill in Class D Personality list
so are you saying you want the D
ad hoc Natures Most Horrendous Outputs Committee
there's a fish called the Sarcastic Fringehead
it's scary
its mouth looks like it's got a vagina in it
ad hoc Sarcastic Fringehead Committee
SURE, that sounds like a great fish
ad hoc Aww Committee
awwwwwwww
Daniel John Kirby Is So Full Of Himself Committee
can get two free bottles of Coke because the vending machine broke
Illustrious Journalist Collective
Welcome to Nightvale is having a live show in Pittsburgh on the 26th of March
apparently it's 21 and up????
but also maybe not
OLD BUSINESS
the Thing!
you pansies not handling the cold is not Caroline's fault
but HER not being able to handle the cold IS her fault
NEW BUSINESS
If I Can't See You You Can't See Me Committee: if you close your eyes the cold can't see you
the cold is more afraid of you than you are of it
Maija made an obscure joke
Innovative Technologies Committee: the weather machine's not broken. We swear.
Skyentology Committee: yes, it is
but what will happen on the day AFTER tomorrow?
the operator of the weather machine is an alcoholic and he's doing the BEST HE CAN
Winter Is Coming Committee: tonight will be much worse
Bike Collective: fuck
Puzzlehunt Committee: but we fixed the weather machine like three semesters ago!
Skyentology Committee: there are some things going on in the sky that just can't be fixed
James has now experienced long frozen hair
don't comb thin hair when it's icy
it gets ripped out
Xander grew beardcicles
Daniel John Kirby Is So Full Of Himself Committee: both of those things happened to him
PASSES
$2 to Frieder, JRAM and Frieder will chair
Adam Liebowitz Memorial Dad Joke Committee: dad jokes
you know why there weren't color photos before the 50s or 60s?
that's because there WASN'T COLOR
(if you haven't read the entirety of Calvin & Hobbes, this joke is for you)
hi dad can we talk?
yes son
dad I'm gay
hi gay I'm dad
The Crimean War was the first war on crime
every time I turn on the TV, they say "You're watching channel 7."
how do they know?
guys this is the DAD jokes committee not the BAD jokes committee
change all instances of "dad" to "bad"
FAILS
ad hoc Stupid History Committee: approves
eforney's dad's favorite show is the Deadliest Catch
or as she likes to call it, the Dadliest Catch
as Xander's allfather used to tell him
SON YOU ARE A STRANGE SMALL FISH
that's cute and no
"if I ever get a dog I'm gonna call it Leroy Brown so when it poops on the carpet I can say, "bad Leroy Brown, bad!"
an actual Adam Leibowitz original
Bubbles says "I am the dadliest catch"
PASSES
$5 to McGinnis, anyone who is amused by dad jokes will chair
Well I'm Not A ____ Committee: to add a disclaimer to the start of something
I'm not a plumber but if your boyfriend has syphillis you should get checked out
dammit Jim, I'm a doctor not a ____
I'm not a racist but statistically white collar crime is perpitrated by one race
dammit, Jim, I'm not a doctor--well, I am a doctor, but not the kind that HELPS people
change "____" to "Racist Butt"
PASSES
I'm not an amnesiac but
I'm not a web developer but I really want to see my dog on the front page and it's like he's speaking to you
I'm not your dad but look into your heart and you know it to be true
PASSES
$8 to Maija, anyone who isn't a ____ butt will chair
Experimental Cryofashion Committee: that's an ice outfit you're wearing
the cold never bothered me anyway
Sometimes Awesome Things Are Real Committee: Ice Nine is an actual thing
it you're wearing jeans that are too long and drag under your shoes, they'll snap off when they freeze
Maija suggests leggings and skirts
the way to test if the condensation on the outside of a container of liquid nitrogen is liquid oxygen is to throw it into a fire
the floor water is too hard to drink
Newly Dead Scientist Committee: success
ad hoc Kind Of Girl Who Doesn't Own Leggings Committee: what?
ad hoc Kind Of Guy Who Doesn't Own Jeans Committee: what?
PASSES
$3 to Mike, James, and anyone else's hair who freezes will chair
Calling Out References Committee: this is a reference to a comment that Broman made earlier in a KGB meeting
the first rule of Tautology Club is the first rule of Tautology Club
XKCD reference
$5 to Drew, anyone who can successfully call out references will chair
motion to change all mentions of "3" in auctions to "thrieder"
dilatory
motion to create a standing rule that "thrieder" will mean "3" in auctions
IT'S A GOOD IDEA
PASSES
motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for food for the event
PASSES
I Don't Quite Remember The Lyrics Committee: to start singing the song, forget some of the lyrics but keep going on anyway because you're pretty good at meter
welcome to the jungle,
we've got fun and games
we're running out of fun
and we're running out of games
CRAZY TRAIN
STREETLIGHTS, STREETLIGHTS, SOMEWHERE IN STREETLIGHTSSSSSSS
misappropriated Misheard Song Lyrics Committee: approves
Multilinguist Committee: aaaaaaa maybe the grammar's wrong
trust me i'm an engineer, I know what this thing's doing here, wait no
PASSES
$4 to Drew, everyone who shows up at the next karaoke night will chair
KGB Should Never Sing Again In Meetings Committee: yeah pretty much that
KGB Rocks The 80s Committee: is missing its keyboard
Could You Repeat That In Song Committee: would like to request the purpose again
no
PASSES
$4 to Drew, disbanded
DGR Committee: make making it interesting more interesting
DGR means different things depending on the event
Deptartment of Gambling ???
Deptartment of Good Resumes
Deptartment of Gold Records
PASSES
$6 to James, he and anyone who doesn't have a huge debt of comrade points to him will chair
Keep Those Artists In Line Committee: tread the fine line between getting artists to collaborate and realizing that artists have FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION
so there Drew was, watching porn in cluster
because it's art
so there eforney was, animating porn in cluster
Booth Chairs: AAAAAAAAAA
so there JRAM was, making elaborate wood carvings of porn in cluster
so there Maija was, writing porn in cluster
so there was the KGB, making a porno in cluster
so there eforney was, participating in porn out of kesden's reach in cluster
PASSES
$3 to Marlena, anyone who's had direction of artists will chair
Dirty Disney Committee: Frozen
you can't marry a man you just met
Frozen is actually pretty decent, but it's not the best Disney movie
maybe you should go see it
passes
$2 to Drew, everyone who's seen Frozen will chair
ANNOUNCEMENTS
EVENT
UPA
Friday in Maggie Mo A14 at 7:00
dress classy if you want
Booth
meetings are starting!
Thursday at 5:30 in DH1217 for art meetings
will last an hour, an hour and a half maybe
Saturday at noon for construction
will last between three and five hours
feel free to come late and leave early if you have to
sweatshirts
talk to Dillon after the meeting
SCHMUCKS
Puzzlehunt CMU
puzzlehunt will be on March 2nd
they're gonna try teams of 5
it's zombie themed
Game Creation Society
there's an event! starting on projects this semsester
go to gamecreation.org
Frieder has never lost a puzzlehunt
who wants him on their team?
Sigbovik is on april 1st
google it
it's named after Harry Q Bovik, who was registered at CMU for YEARS
remember that thing that Xander said about Nightvale?
yeah reminding you of that
we are now in purple
