Minutes20160118

OFFICER REPORTS

   Mike
       had a weekend
       did nothing but anime and bread on saturday
           the bread is gone
       has done maybe two units of work
       your approval means a lot to them
   
   skye
       had a weekend
       started with the event
       social justice reverse charades???
       new people
           jerry, is in high school, worst memory, from nyc
   
   dillon
       had a weekend
       electronics!
       some tv
       didn't do much
       EVENT from craig
           tool training!
           kage (stever basement)
           7:00pm friday
           come learn to use power tools!
   
   erin
       had a weekend
       99% was sitting and watching either cartoons or other people doing work
       went to dave and busters
       SUBMIT TO PRAVDA
   
   back to skye
       new people
           matthew, ece, singapore, is wearing glasses
   
   zora
       had a weekend
       bread! movie!
       got sick D:
   
   joe
       is totally not murphy
       went drinking with murphy
   
   murphy
       spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace
       had a weekend
       saw the martian
           it was great

COMMITTEE REPORTS

    booth committee
       events!
           tool training!
               kage
               7pm friday
           booth planning meetings
               PH A18B, sundays at 1:30
           octodad with comrades
               poll on fb at some point probably
   
   misap children's laughter
       harry and worms are making a kgb laughtrack
   
   cinematic suggestions
       the martian
       (spaaaaaaaaaaaace)
   
   socially appropriate means of transportation
       steven put a flashy light on his scooter
       also stickers?
   
   what's the thing you say before a committee that isn't misap?
       as hoc
   
   ad hoc people doing dumb things
       harry is allergic to animals and has been injured due to that unfortunate affliction
   
   wacky packages???
   
   inappropriate footwear
       toms are surprisingly all weather
   
   mlk jr memorial
       shelby had a dream
           that was the connection
           that's it
       steven had a dream
           home depot
       nika had a dream
           it was confusing
           AND VIOLENT
           and then she woke up in a walmart
       tim didn't have any dreams
       worms had a dream
           about a week ago
           doesn't remember it
           he woke up to a ripped up sheet though
       also mkl was a trekkie and people are watching stuff tonight (see schmucks)
   
   itty bitty kitty
       y'all should volunteer for the animal shelter
   
   steven had more dreams
       he ate his pillow
   

OLD BUSINESS

   the Thing!
       not returning the spirit of the thing next week is not steven's fault
   
   ad hoc committee for old business
       calls for the orders of the day (we have one thing now and another thing in about five minutes)
   
   teen's outreach program for the despondently paranormal: tweeting eggplant, wink, het white couple emojis
       can we confirm that the het white couple emojis are in fact cis
   PASSES
   $3 to dillon, dillon, kelly, and whoever else

NEW BUSINESS

   point of clarification: harry had been assuming that the auction was voting on whatever committee came next
       (nope)
   
   new old business: sorry tim
       motion to table for one week
           PASSES
   
   is this film club?
   
   ad hoc committee for old business calls for the orders of the day committee: it says it all in the title
       $2 to harry, the teenage ghosts who just wanna be adults already
   
   motion to allocate $20 to make a really long pole for steven's illicit poster activities
       no
       we can't give him money
       that's literally endorsement
   
   committee for old business calls for the remaining orders of the day
       tabletop athiesm: fuck you and your elkridge ambiants
           change "you" to "drew"
               PASSES
           motion to table for one week and two seconds
               PASSES
   
   dead horse joke: joe would beat it forever, but he's just gonna table it for another week
       things said by single guys
           it took me like a full minute to type this through the tears
               of both sorrow and mirth
       kgb laughtrack
           we have a rough draft (on mike's voicemail)
       motion to table this committee for half an hour less than two weeks
           PASSES
       
   committee that will pass in the next ten minutes: CHALLENGE
       mike lost
       change name to "commmittee that will be tabled until next week"
           PASSES
       (question is called)
           (harry almost died)
   PASSES
   $1 to joe, disbanded
   
   which banded?
   
   beat the dead horse: things said by furry necrophiliacs
       sam thanks steven for making that joke for him
   FAILS
   
   committee on mismatched historical quotes: yea pretty much that
       ???? jfk joke
       i have a dreamcicle i want to ride my bicycle
       the cmu furries committee does NOT APPROVE of the previouly failed committee
       fourscore and seven years ago i had a dream
       skye: shit, this is a motion
       the prev. committee just has a negative view of furry necrophiliacs
           (most people do)
   PASSES
   $1 to murphy, abraham stalin will chair
   
   (dillon accidentally lowers the screen)
   
   whoever drew that eagle is pretty cool
       it's an ad hoc
       what eagle, readers ask? you should have been there
   
   misuse of tables: to drop tables on tabling kgb members
       in order to keep dylan safe, motion to table for one week
           PASSES
   
   timestables: to fund steven's kickstarter about putting clocks on tables
       it was just a joke steven doesn't have a kickstarter
       replace clocks with newspapers
           passes
       replace newspapers with herbs
           passes
       change name to "christ, what an asshole!"
           passes
       change "herbs" to "sick beets"
           passes
       change "sick beets" to "dope beats"
           fails
   PASSES
   $2 to harry, all the beets (just all of them)
   
   terrible models: making things at different scales os you can lie about your products
       on a model aircraft thing, the aircraft is built to scale but the people are 25% smaller
       we almost didn't make a masturbation joke at the previous committee!
           and then steven happened
       antman
           steven almost died
           motion to add that to the laugh track
               out of order, but, still
   PASSES
   $1 to erin, people who are bad at science will chair
   
   parliamentary proceedings forever: motion to disband the kgb
       motion to table for 1000 years
           FAILS
       this is a good idea (points at a chair)
       can you imagine if we just started playing nomik in the middle of kbg
       motion to squid
       motion to the left
       motion to raise your hands in the air with a moderate amount of care
       tim's hand was just comfortable this way
   PASSES
   $1 to joe, the kgb as an org but especially joe
   
   motion to buy all of exec powdered wigs so we can be a real parliament
       fails due to bad parliamentary procedings
   
   motion to allocate $20 towards NOT buying a long pole to put posters in high places
       note: the kgb has a bad history of long poles
           once upon a time, an underground tourgoer brought a LONG pole and was just carrying it around
           and they took out a light fixture in doherty
           and then we had to do community service
       dylan would like to point out that a good way for us to NOT buy a long pole is to give that money to someone else
           who will then buy the long pole
           so we CAN'T
       now what if we bought, instead of a long pole, several short poles
       dick joke
       what about a "white colonial man wig"
       wood joke
       home depot sells short poles and couplings
           which is unrelated
       unfort it turns out that poles are a bit expensive
       change motion to "25.98 to not buy a 10 to 12 ft pole"
           passes
       change motion to incorporate tax and shipping
           ???
       change motion to just $40 for simplicity
           passes
       steven's still on the short poles
       sam wouldn't touch steven with a 10 foot pole
           someone seconded???
       ad hoc impalation committee: finds this whole thing unnerving
   FAILS
   
   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $70 for food and supplies for this event
       (it's more bc restocking the kage)
       PASSES
   
   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $70 to buy colonial white person wigs for the kgb
       motion to change the purpose to "to buy a sack of flour for exec to dunk their heads in"
       motion to change the allocation to "$4 on a sack of flour for exec to dunk their heads in"
           PASSES
       motion to table indefinitely
           PASSES
   
   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $70 to buy exec wigs
       motion to consider exec chipping in for their own wigs
           we could consider
           it has been considered
       descarte or something
           the wigs aren't real
           also this isn't real
           we should behave as if there is a malevolant spirit causing us to do all things
       motion to not buy the stealth peanut butter pretzels
           ????
   FAILS
   
   motion ot make an allocation not to exceed $1200 to buy iclickers so we can vote that way
       dilatory
   
   motion to make a bylaws amendment requiring exec to wear wigs
       please don't do this
   
   motion to allocate 25 cents to buy steven a gumball
   PASSES
   

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       tool training
           friday, 7pm, kage!
           come play with powertools!
           the kage is in the stever basement, we'll prob the door
   
   ug tour stories
       if you're interested in working with that, message murphy!
   
   UPA
       useless people auction! it's the event after tool training!
       kgb members auction off 6 hours of their time to do things for people!
       if you want to do that, contact exec!
       if you're uncomfy with anyone buying your time, contact erin! if you're uncomfy with erin, contact anyone else on exec!
       exec gets auctioned off
           we had to race with our feet
           it was awful
           
   assassins
       it's gonna happen, contact skye
   

SCHMUCKS

   "stool straining"
   
   mlk trekfest
       skye and people are watching star trek and playing quiplash and ordering pizza!
       at 6:30
       probably in rashid
   
   ITR
       if you like to stab your friends, this is the game for you
       10pm, wean 4

we are now in purple