Minutes20231120
MEETING
OFFICER REPORTS
Kevin: spiked Arizona green tea (regular Arizona green tea (very concerning))
Avalon: went to Kremlin, had fun
Daniel: got a ping Saturday night to play splat toon. Was a mistake
kevin: Do we have an event?
daniel: No
avalon: we have an unofficial event where we clean up the office! There will be food.
nick: thanksgiving at Kremlin
nick: I went to Kremlin and had fun. Actually I live there
Eshaan^Julia: what does Julia do on the weekend?
kevin: Julia is in the uk
Eshaan: (british accent) I’m in the uk and speaking to you through the inter webs! I had beans on toast.
Nick^Theo: oh god help I am trapped in Purnell. Oh no.
Benner: bhangra in the burgh then Kremlin. Left in the opposite direction to Steve and got lost
COMMITTEE REPORTS
Avalon: what the fuck is going on with the fence committee (not eshaan)
Kevin: American football man do bad. No longer want American football man. American football man not fired yet
Kevin (Tyrant): his name is matt Canada??
eshaan: matt Canada is a (fish fish fish use your imagination) people have hated him for three years
benner: history of Pepsi committee. Pepsi once caused a large scale riot in (what country? Kevin: Ecuador) I don’t believe it was in Ecuador. They’ve caused two riots. There was one in the Philippines and also one in Chile (separate incident)
Unnamed gbm member: ad hoc Pepsi committee but weird. You could buy a plane with Pepsi.
Banner: the judge ruled they did not have to give the dude a plane. This was one of the biggest failures of the us justice system
avalon: hello if you’ve never been to kgb meeting before please stand up (intro stuff)
Isaac Williamson: Isaac Williamson he/him, mechE, New York, I’m… scared, 2027. Does not watch football
Nathan: the committee would like to report. End report
benner: my hand’s just comfortable here
avalon: my hand’s not comfortable here
kevin: you should move to a state of more comfort
Unidentified gbm member: ad hoc committee representing unidentified gbm members: I’ve been identified too many times for comfort
Avalon: committee to identify gbm members would like to report: eshaan
eshaan: civil liberties violation of defendants’ rights
avalon: this is kgb
Eshaan: kgb gatekeeping committee: no Russian symbolism so we’re not kgb
avalon: the ad hoc rules committee : there’s no rule for that
kevin: that’s for ctfws misappropriate a different committee
nick: the misappropriated rules committee would like to report there are no rules
kevin: who has the thing?
benner: (raises hand)
kevin: who would like the thing?
avalon: me
kevin: what’s not your fault
avalon: there’s one ctfws sign still up
kevin: matt canada is
OLD BUSINESS
Motion to create the “order of the day committee 2” with purpose “to be tabled until next week”
avalon: motion to eh?
Eshaan objection
eshaan: motion to have a kangaroo court?
Ill defined
nick: motion to table for two weeks?
isaac: motion to no longer hold this clipboard
nick: undo good question
nick: call the question
Vote
Nick: good question
avalon: motion to fuck the rules
Passed, tabled for 2 weeks
NEW BUSINESS
avalon: motion to create a standing rule such that whenever someone says “motion to fuck the rules” anyone can speak without being recognized by Kevin, and Kevin must approve of this
Unidentified gbm member number 1: I think the rules’ feelings should be taken into consideration and update to “make sweet love to the rules” (not an official amendment)
isaac: motion to make sweet love to the rules
benner: motion to salute the rules
Eshaan: motion to amend with the make sweet love to the rules
Avalon: not friendly
kevin: moving on to a vote
avalon: fine it’s friendly
motion to create a standing rule such that whenever someone says “motion to make sweet love to the rules” anyone can speak without being recognized by Kevin, and Kevin must approve of this
avalon: motion to amend such that if Kevin does not approve, the general body can overrule with a majority vote
nick: steals my water bottle??
eshaan: voting is bad and we should not do it. As long as the person I like wins it’s ok
avalon: eshaan is the financial fish for democrats club
Unidentified gbm member: who’s eshaan
motion to create a standing rule such that whenever someone says “motion to make sweet love to the rules” anyone can speak without being recognized by Kevin, and Kevin must approve of this. if Kevin does not approve, the general body can overrule with a majority vote
Passed
Sold to avalon for $1
Nick, avalon, Daniel: who will
kevin: we’re not bringing who will back
charles: motion to disband kgb
eshaan: seconded
Kevin: give me one second
(Kevin is definitely checking the bylaws)
kevin: out of order
eshaan: how do you do this
kevin: first you leave then wait an hour. Then come back
nick: you can also find any room on campus and press the red button so the bylaws enforcement committee will help you
Unidentified gbm number -1: motion to disband the bylaws
isaac: motion to mourn [REDACTED]
Unidentified gbm member: fish
isaac: I am not asking, I am just mourning
avalon: requesting a report from Elise about Elise’s dictator hour (booth design meeting)
elise: elise’s dictator hour: we are planning on making a 3d Dino and a 3d meteor. We will have a little balcony. Interior walls will change slightly but we think it will be entirely feasible to have a coded Dino game where a person has to jump
(Demonstrating)
This is our walk goal, there will be a button and you jump.
charles: did you read the booth manual
elise: don’t care
avalon: what twain would say: that’s ableist
elise: yeah
eshaan: who’s in charge
elise: teddy is in charge of games
kevin: if you want to help add the @booth role on discord
nathan: ad hoc ADA committee: nowhere in the booth manual does it say the booth needs to be ada compliant
charles: I am not gonna be involved in this. You guys can learn about this yourselves
avalon: Charles what’s the heritage of your mother
charles: this is a violation of my ferpa rights
avalon: you gaslit me :(
charles: gaslighting is when you tell a friend you share an ethnicity and they think you’re lying even though you’ve never lied
avalon: gaslighting is when you tell a friend really sketchily but so they don’t believe you but it’s true
benner: this claim is false and avalon is crazy
nick: real gaslighting committee: that’s not what gaslighting means
eshaan: I miss the gatekeep and girlboss committees
nick: [REDACTED]
Eshaan: [REDACTED]
Kevin: I am impressed about your clairvoyance when it comes to [REDACTED]
avalon: ad hoc tourism committee: visit the cathedral of learning [REDACTED]
Charles: cathedral of learning committee: is there a chick-fil-a in the cathedral of learning? Is this true?
nick: ive never found it
Fish fish fish
isaac: ad hoc gaslighting committee: there is a chickfila in Cathy. you just need to look harder.
Kevin: any real motions that aren’t [REDACTED]
benner: motion to create the Wikipedia committee with purpose “whatever I find interesting on wikipedia”
Avalon: it’s a good idea
Unidentified gbm member: motion to append: whoever chairs the committee must share one fun fact at every kgb meeting
Friendly
avalon: motion to append the string “or else they must go to the corner of shame”
Friendly
kevin: what’s going on
Nick: pay attention Kevin
motion to create the Wikipedia committee with purpose “whatever I find interesting on wikipedia” and whoever chairs the committee must share one fun fact at every kgb meeting or else they must go to the corner of shame
Passed
Sold to benner for $2, chaired by “myself” not benner, but “myself”
The general body has a realization about the interpretation of this
kevin: this is a committee. It’s just words. You can’t enforce shit
isaac: motion to be joyous
Sherlock, Kevin, unidentified gbm member: (clapping)
nathan: ad hoc sorry get back to me end report
kevin: would look favorably on allocation
avalon: motion to allocate $69 and 420¢
keerthana: I have bad news
daniel: call the question
benner: motion to pass by acclimation
Objection
kevin: we have a lot of nerf guns and swords. There might be kgb the movie and kgb the movie 2 in there.
Passed.
benner: motion to allocate (2^82589933 - 1) to possible office cleaning
kevin: we don’t have that much money
It’s a prime number.
kevin: it’s an allocation, not a prime number. It’s dillatory
keerthana: motion to allocate 2^8 - 1 dollars to this week’s sippy sips and nummy nums
avalon: permission to leave my seat
(Avalon learns about the summit cola standing rule)
Unidentified gbm member: can we stop avalon
(Notes are passed in class)
Passed.
keerthana: motion to create a standing rule such that any allocation for exactly the cost of one 2-liter bottle of summit cola must be used to purchase one 2-L bottle of summit cola
charles: I will sell summit cola for any amount of money greater than $10
avalon: Motion to #define “thank you” as “fuck you”
kevin: in order. fuck the rules. Out of order
Unidentified gbm member: since when have #define s been a thing
keerthana: I believe they were started around maybe 2017 as a sequence of 213 jokes about pointers
Unidentified gbm member: are there other #definitions
Kevin: no
charles: motion to #include __file__
kevin: out of order
failed
Keerthana: this is voter fraud
kevin: no I am simply enforcing rules
avalon: motion to #define “thank you” as “fuck you”
No seconds
REAL and RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS
kevin: hi we’re the cmu kgb! Exec. We have meetings on Sundays. Ask us when. We have an event! Except we don’t.
avalon: we will be cleaning the Kage with food and foam swords
avalon: I meant office
elise: we have Kage cleaning Wednesday noon
kevin: Thursday nick has a thing, avalon has office cleaning Friday, maybe ITR
Kevin: giving Tuesday is coming up. Any donation to a student org it gets matched by cmu! Ask Theo what debts you have. otherwise, I hope you don’t like your kneecaps
kevin: rules committee/retrospective on ctfws! Keep an eye out for when2meet in discord
SCHMUCKS
charles: vacant room in Kremlin. cmhv . purple lagomorph
Kevin^nick: housing for next semester/next academic year, consider Kremlin!
keerthana: motion to pass by acclimation
avalon: my hand’s just comfy
eshaan: how do we do the. W . What happens now.
Kevin: hi guys
Charles: motion to uv uv ir uv ir ir uv ir uv
keerthana: how many exec members do we need for quorum
benner: Motion to fail(147 230 190)
eshaan: motion to indigo
avalon: motion to seafoam green
charles: motion to #include gafo
kevin: motion to orange
keerthana: motion to create the broken record committee
nathan: motion to fish
kevin: motion to create the broken record committee
daniel: motion to purple
avalon: motion to red
eshaan: motion to purple
benner: motion n
isaac: motion to fuchsia
kevin: motion to turquoise
nathan: motion to the left
keerthana: motion to do homework
avalon: motion to the right
isaac: motion to take it back now
kevin: motion to two hops two hops
keerthana: my hand’s just comfy
avalon: motion to listen to the wind
kevin: hello it’s me the wind. You should consider making a motion to gift
charles: motion to get pho
avalon: motion to get fucked
benner: motion to just sit there for an hour
kevin: motion to uncancel 122
avalon: motion downwards
eshaan: motion to dance dance revolution to the song killer queen
Keerthan: motion to go up
nathan: motion to get food
