Minutes20231204

OFFICER REPORTS

Kevin: school mascots

Avalon: went to Kappa formal, not in Kappa

Daniel: forgot to sleep, played splatoon, event: Karaoke Garaoke Baraoke

Nick: stayed home, submit to pravda

Julia: forgot to study for exam, played stardew valley

Avalon^Theo: did nothing but be a slave to the school of drama, the school of drama sucks, tepper is so much better, I apologize to Avalon for the heinous committee created last week that mentioned Avalon by name

Benner: did nothing but write and also watch a 4 hour video essay (hbomberguy)

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Nathan: ad hoc pilk: I believe I saw someone making pilk unironically in the exchange today, pepsi with at least a tablespoon of milk

Nick: block market: 4$

Twain: corn subsidies: 4.61

Anthony: misappriated plants: most plants have died, grab as many christmas trees as you can, we’re going to scalp christmas trees

Benner: wikipedia: sept 15 1896 publicity stunt in texas where william george crush decided to crash two trains together at full speed, made full town named crush

Eshaan: ad hoc forgetfulness: that

Daniel: something what snacks: I’m not asking you

Benner: going down: everything

Anthony: ad hoc FDA: formal question: is there a vegan option for this meeting

Eshaan: mis going down: going down down sugar going down down

Eshaan: euphemism: going down is funny

Nick: ah requesting snacks: normal oreos, and maybe some lemon cake again

Daniel: did I ask

Sam: ah FDA: vegan cake

Anthony: out of date references, must one yell timber on top of going down

Daniel: mis ah who: will

Eshaan: ah will: prefers to be called billy now

(Broken records)

Nick: [REDACTED]

Anthony: ah broken record committee

Eshaan: [REDACTED]

Avalon: has thing

Anthony: wants thing, not fault: expulsion of George Santos, is fault: exponential down going of everything else

OLD BUSINESS

From November 20th

motion to create the “order of the day committee 2” with purpose “to be tabled until next week”

Nick: motion to table for 10.5 days

Charles: call to question

Anthony: I like that table

Eshaan: I also like this table

Passed, been tabled for 10.5 days

Nick: motion to make an allocation for 50 million dollars for the purpose of buying two trains to crash into eachother

Kevin: dilatory

(argument)

Avalon: NEW PEOPLE!!!

Shay: shay, from NJ, mech e major, likes the new york giants, freshman, he/him

Guytree (sp?): she/her, cs, Pittsburgh, Steelers fan

Twain: motion to create a new standing rule only for this meeting where you can only speak if you have this ball or are Kevin

Nathan: motion to fail by acclamation

Anthony: are we permitted to use ASL in the absence of speaking

Failed

Avalon: motion to create the Avalon’s one day old starbucks committee, purpose “for someone to help me open my one day old starbucks, I’ve been trying for 20 minutes now

Anthony: can any means be used

Keerthana: motion to offer this effigy as prize for whoever opens it

Daniel: motion to pass by acclamation

Twain: Eshaan pay attention in GBM (standing rule)

Eshaan: I don’t know what motion we’re in

(Eshaan is sent to the corner of shame)

Sold for 4$ to Avalon, chaired by sherlock (the person who opened the starbucks)

Anthony: motion to create a standing rule such that if there is no treasurer present we consider the treasury to be 50 million dollars in summit cola

Nick: motion to pass by acclamation

Passed, been stood

sold for 7.74$ to Benner

NEW PERSON!!!

Talia, NYC, middle east studies Dickinson (graduated 6 months ago), 23, intending to apply to CMU and Pitt, when walking here, walked over grass instead of paths, color of floor is wood

Daniel: motion to allocate 50 million dollars for sippy sips and nummy nums for this week’s event

Benner: motion to create the heat death of the universe committee purp: “to be the last committee ever passed by the KGB”

Keerthana: motion to table until the heat death of the universe

Passed, been tabled

Charles: motion to allocate 10$ for each variant of oreo-stuffed things for sippy sips and nummy nums for this week’s event

Julia: motion to amend to “all the variants of oreo-stuffed oreos present wherever Daniel goes to shop for snacks for this week’s event”

Charles: intent is different stuff thicknesses of oreos

Talya: four years or so ago my sister put toothpaste instead of oreo cream for april fools

Daniel: can we allocate a real amount of money?

Daniel: when I ask for a blank check you say no Kevin

Passed, been allocated

Keerthana: motion to create a standing rule such that all allocations for sippy sips and nummy nums must be made in units of summit cola

Failed

Julia: motion #define “will you all shut up” as “call the question”

(Discussion of whether it’s call to question or call the question, lots of people are surprised)

Twain: apparently we’re using call to question wrong, you need to vote on it

Talya: can I see evidence of the 50 million dollars?

Passed, been #defined

Avalon: wait I forgot, hold on, I pull out

Twain: check general, I have just sent a link to a 1981 locomotive for 15,000$

Benner: IRS committee: where did KGB obtain that money

Avalon: motion to propose Carnegie Mellon as the location where the trains would collide

Nathan: [REDACTED]

Anthony: motion #define call to question as call the question

Keerthana: motion to call your mom’s question

Nick: motion to call Kevin’s mom

Daniel: motion to cause suffering for fun

Nick: motion to the broken record committee

Twain: Kevin what is your mom’s name and where does she live

Kevin: unfriendly

Benner: Kevin what’s your mom’s maiden name, and what is your bank account

Kevin: Kevin is your mom single

Sherlock: Kevin if your mom’s phone number was an amount of money how much would it be

Twain: Kevin, your middle name is nmn?

Kevin: that stands for no middle name

Keerthana: Be better nerds

Passed, been #defined

Daniel: motion to make a standing rule such that if you call the question you must also say the string “call the question” (unseconded)

Kevin leaves because he is being doxxed, Avalon is now chair

Daniel: motion to create a standing rule such that after every auction the chair must say “who will”

Passed, been stood, sold to Evin (Kevin) for 15$

NEW PERSON

Evin, I’m an ECE major graduating in December of 2024, wear hats, he/him, from a location that everyone knows already

Anthony: motion to create a standing rule called the broken record rule that allows you to pass a standing rule or committee that has already been passed again, they can be titled the same thing, but have different numbers

Daniel: motion to fail by acclamation

Anthony: objection

Passed, been stood, sold for siz (6)$ for Kevin

Daniel: motion to purple

Charles: motion to move on to real and relevant announcements

REAL RELEVANT ANNOUNCMENTS

Kevin: hello we are the CMU KGB, the wrong Kevin is up there now

Avalon: events friday at 7

Daniel: Karaoke: here, 7pm on Friday

Avalon: Dues 15/sem, 20/yr, 69/hr

Avalon: ITR may be running during finals week, check schmucks

Avalon: Geek eat, sign up sheet, next wednesday, we go to cheesecake factory

SCHMUCKS

Anthony: new song, may have mentioned 2 weeks ago, said song now out on all streaming platforms

Nathan: go see the CMU philharmonic, wednesday night at soldiers and sailors, thursday noon

Benner: an hour before KGB event, cmu GCS will be showing games they made, my game will not be done, you can see other people’s games that will not be

(K)Evin: ITR is a fun little thing where you get duct tape daggers and go to wean 4, get card that says friendly or unfriendly, you go around stabbing people with daggers, kind of like mafia, if you like running around on wean 4, and stabbing people with daggers, and variations with weird classes, come to itr