Minutes20241028

OFFICER REPORTS

Daniel: played mahjong, helped uea get their act together and paint the fence properly

Benner: slept through the tour I was supposed to give, oopsie, got a little stuffed rock from a market on Craig street, and they didn’t fire me. NEW Person:

Amy, she/her, westboro massachusetts, came for the hamster, theoretically breathes air

Teddy: cooked food and did homework, if you’re here for a hamster, you’ve been tricked into going to a KGB meeting

Nathan: watched the movie hundreds of beavers, it’s basically an hour and 45 minutes of the best slapstick comedy you’ve ever seen, submit to Pravda

Julia: saw into the woods, played wingspan

Ryan: was gonna get so much done, had 8 hour time commitment that started at 6:45 in the morning

Isaac: didn’t sleep and then slept

COMMITTEE REPORTS

Benner: KGWiki: there is a text adventure game on the KGB wiki that you can play

Nathan: Weird monopoly editions: bass fishing edition, not to be confused with bass fishing lakes edition

Kevin: corn subsidies: 4.10

Isaac: lingering curse reminder

Nathan: quora: why can’t a man control the darkness in his heart

Kevin: “motion to create the lingering curse committee should be charitably given to a victim, suggestion: this committee’s head can bequeath it to another person against their will, and that person suffers the adverse effects of having to run this committee as to be decided by the buyer”: I curse Reed

Teddy: ah actual monopolies: proctor and gamble

Benner: wikipedia: KLF who were a band who were at one point called the time lords for a novelty pop single called doctor in the tardis, they said they wrote it as a deliberate effort to get the #1 hit single, according to the british music press, the result was “rancid…excrutiating, so noxious” sold over 1 million copies

Teddy: requesting a sample of the music

Nathan: ah wtf cmu scheduling: wtf cmu scheduling: why are you making all the physics majors go from 8am wean to 9am mellon institute

Ryan: mis ah wtf cmu scheduling: intro to ECE and physics at the same time

Benner: this youtube video has straight all the way through, people are watching this all the way through, I ask for your apologies in advance, plays the song

Ryan: ah plainfin midshipman: we should remix that

Kevin: floor is lava: floor is lava

Benner: speedrunning: 1998 metalgear solid category extensions: full game any % with guitar hero controller

Benner: metalgear solid 1998 also has a section for loading the new game, beating the entire thing any % but having cigarettes equipped whenever possible

Reed: speedrunning complaint: checked the 2 you mentioned before and they were both really good

OLD BUSINESS

Kevin: has the thing, Nathan wants thing, not fault: CMU scheduling bullshit (the fact that all the physics majors have to go to mellon institute at 9am)

From 10/21/24: motion to create the "Remind KGB about lingering curse committee" purp: “to remind people that they have the lingering curse and should pass it on”

Nathan: motion to table for 1 week

Passed, tabled for 1 week

NEW BUSINESS

Kevin: motion to allocate 2$ for rpg night

Ryan: why 2$

Nathan: motion to amend the allocation to 2 billion dollars

Isaac: motion to amend the allocation to 2 billion

Julia: motion to amend such that the purpose of the allocation is “to buy dice and other tasty snacks”

Ryan: motion to amend the source from KGB’s funds to PNC banks vault [redacted]

Ryan: motion to amend to take out a loan first secured by PNC’s assets

Kiera: motion to amend to 1 million 999,998$ and 2$ (friendly)

Daniel: help

Isaac: neanderthal committee would look favorably on # less than ten

Ryan: 60$ for dice and other snacks

Passed, we will have dice and other snacks

Teddy: motion to make a standing rule such that magic is now real

Kevin: magic has always been real

Kiera: would this have any implications

Teddy: maybe

Nathan: I feel like we already have things that imply magic is real (splash potions of harming and healing)

Kevin: alchemy

Passed with 1 abstaining, 7 in favor, 2 against

Nathan: motion to create a standing rule such that anyone who superabstains becomes magical for 1 minute

Kevin: I don’t see where this is going and I’m worried about that

Passed, been stood

Isaac: motion to create a standing rule such that you lose 1 hp whenever your motion is antiseconded (1 per person per motion)

Teddy: is it per person that antiseconds or per person

Isaac: per person

Passed, been stood

Ryan: motion to create a pouring kool aid in the pittsburgh water supply committee “to pour water in the pittsburgh water supply”

Nathan: my water’s already red

Julia: ah diabetes: approves

Passed, Sold to Ryan for 2$, chaired by Michelle Obama

Julia: motion to allocate 5$ to buy 20 ounces of kool aid

Passed

Benner: speedrunning committee: if you are (end report I’m starting over)

Nathan: out of order fairfax vending machine: it works

Benner: out of order fairfax vending machine: it worked once but was broken a second time

Benner: speedrunning: if you’re looking for a category with no submissions nerf test range 2014 on the website empty all the cartridges as fast as possible, for one submission, scooby doo night of 100 frights completing the game with a dance pad, current record is 3 hours+, game itself is 14 minutes

Reed: motion to create the committee creation speedrun any % starting now attempt 1 committee (no seconds, that failed)

Reed to create the to create the committee any % creation speedrun starting now attempt 2 committee (no seconds, that failed), purp: “to be”

Passed, sold for 3$ to Reed, chaired by “also, Michelle Obama”

Isaac: motion to create the droning/ambient/tinnitus committee purpose: playing a slight ambient droning or tinnitus inducing sound during GBM

Ryan: plainfin midshipman

Benner: are you playing it right now?

Reed: faint as in low in volume or high in pitch

Isaac: low in volume no matter what

Ryan: motion to amend that the pitch cannot between 500 hertz and 30,000 hertz (friendly, been changed)

Isaac: edit out tinnitus

Benner: grandpa had sound thing to deter rats, but I could hear it, my family thought I was crazy, only cousin could hear it

Reed: they don’t work

Benner: there was a version that would just loudly play eagle screech

Isaac: grandma had tube that would play thumping noises to scare away moles

Sold for 2$ to Ryan, chaired by this very shiny dime

Teddy: motion to allocate 20$ to buy roughly 9 grams of raw uranium ore for Kevin’s discretionary nuke fund

Ryan: point of information: how many 20$ purchases to create a nuke

Teddy: more than we have probably

Noah: what is the purity

Teddy: the granules will generally read on a geiger counter from 3,000 CBM to 10,000 CBM

Isaac: this seems like a good way to build up trust with our CMU community

Noah: point of information you can’t ship radioactive materials to package pickup, ship to off campus mailbox

Daniel: can we store radioactive materials on campus

Kiera: we could donate it to the physics department?

Ryan: we could donate it to them without telling them

Kevin: how much uranium does the physics department already have

Ryan: the chemistry department also has radioactive materials in doherty subbasement

Nathan: on the smc website, nothing restricting radioactive materials

Isaac: is this something that we’re really doing

Teddy: a US citizen is allowed to own up to 3.3 pounds of uranium, doesn’t specify refined or raw

Ryan: if we all owned legal limit we could make a nuclear weapon

Noah: dirty bomb

Passed, with 2 abstaining, 4 in favor, 3 against

Nathan: motion to create a standing rule such that anyone who is in possession of uranium is magical

Kevin: motion to create a standing rule entitled the nuclear non proliferation act to prevent allocating money for buying nuclear materials again

Daniel: Kevin, what materials do not have any nuclei

Nathan: plasma

Teddy: oh no the KGB bought le uranium

Julia: motion to amend such that it prevents buying of materials known by the state of california to cause cancer (not friendly, not strong)

Kevin: motion to amend such that instead of radioactive materials, it’s any motion that has the word uranium in the purpose anywhere

Failed

Nathan: point of information for the drone, if you really want to annoy people play around 4,000hertz, fundamental frequency of human ears

Benner: motion to create the КГБ committee purp: teaching KGB members russian so they can connect with their roots and participate in the upcoming communist revolution (unseconded failed)

Isaac: motion to censor all mentions of uranium in the minutes

(failed by

Ryan: motion to create the geiger counter committee that I proposed out of order

passed, sold for 19$ to Ryan, chaired by president eisenhower

REAL AND RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Daniel: we are KGB, dues, pay your dues, if you’re interested in being a continuously dues paying member, deadline is october 31st, this thursday, booth design meeting tomorrow at 7pm?

Nathan: 4 thumbs up and 7 thumbs down in discord?

Daniel: mini carnival this Friday

Kevin: instagram post said wean commons, in front of conan room

Daniel: will be there 4-6 selling stickers and t-shirts

Kevin: selling stickers, 1 sticker for 1$ gbm deal

Daniel: cmukgb.org/discord

Daniel: one shot RPGs in PH 125b, readme, pitchmeeting saturday 1117 at 5pm

SCHMUCKS

Nathan: come see cmu philharmonic, saturday night at 8pm in Kresge theater in college of fine arts

Benner: next semester professor parker is teaching soviet science fiction, one of my favorite classes, you get to watch tarkovsky

Kevin: you should take fun with robots stuco next semester, you get a free (10$ lab fee) robot, I’ve been teaching it this semester, won’t be next semester, but instructors teaching it will

Kevin: motion to seafoam red

Benner: motion to as close to purple you can get without being purple

Reed: motion to the first half of purple

Benner: motion to seafoam purple

Noah: motion to seafoam seafoam green

Ryan: motion to have infinitely many seafoams that end in green

Kiera: motion to type color = {purple, seafoam, color} (not sure the spelling on this)

Kevin: broken record

Nathan: Gitfo