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[[KGB's Sing-along Blog Planning]]
 
[[KGB's Sing-along Blog Planning]]
  
“My KGB” by jvirdo, to the tune of “On the Rise
+
="My KGB" by jvirdo, to the tune of "My Eyes"<br>=
  
Mander:
+
'''Mander:'''<br>
Any comrade with a brain
+
Any comrade with a brain<br>
Can see the KGB has gone insane
+
Can see the KGB has gone insane<br>
On the other hand, I'd say
+
On the other hand, I'd say<br>
That they have always been this way
+
That they have always been this way<br>
You can squid if you don't care to abstain
+
You can squid if you don't care to abstain<br>
  
Listen close to all of your exec
+
Listen close to all of your exec<br>
And get more tangerines
+
And get more tangerines<br>
Even clusterfolk come make the trek
+
Even clusterfolk come make the trek<br>
To MM A14
+
To MM A14<br>
 +
<br>
 +
You'll find out this year's booth theme<br>
 +
Groan and laugh at the puns and memes<br>
 +
Anyone who yells<br>
 +
"I have a job!" is held<br>
 +
In high esteem<br>
 +
<br>
 +
'''Eforney:'''<br>
 +
Let's be clear<br>
 +
Despite how geeky we appear<br>
 +
We're not all CS majors here<br>
 +
Well, some of us are engineers<br>
 +
<br>
 +
Do you believe that roofs and steam tunnels exist?<br>
 +
Not at CMU<br>
 +
No way to get there, we insist<br>
 +
We haven't got a clue<br>
 +
<br>
 +
In time, you'll see you forgot<br>
 +
The committees that you have bought<br>
 +
And it's plain to see, you'll love the KGB<br>
 +
Like it or not<br>
 +
<br>
 +
[duet by jokeserver]<br>
 +
'''Mander:'''<br>
 +
I've got way too much to do<br>                           
 +
Interp, Calculus, and Concepts, too<br>
 +
My homework is everywhere<br>
 +
And I'm doing my best to care<br>
 +
But I would much rather hang around with you<br>
 +
<br>
 +
Can't miss out on any one event<br>
 +
Don't want to miss the fun<br>
 +
But I'm worried about my grade percent<br>
 +
Dropping down to 1.<br>
 +
<br>
 +
I cannot believe the time<br>
 +
Did I really just waste my night?<br>
 +
But it's plain to see<br>
 +
Why I'm in KGB; they're friends for life<br>
  
You'll find out this year's booth theme
+
'''Eforney:'''<br>
Groan and laugh at the puns and memes
+
Friday's here<br>
Anyone who yells
+
Events are great to spend with peers<br>
"I have a job!" is held
+
But I'm right at the point of tears<br>
In high esteem
+
To think that I'll be gone next year<br>
 +
You should make sure<br>
 +
<br>
 +
To come to all of our events<br>
 +
You'll have lots of fun<br>
 +
It won't cost you one more cent<br>
 +
To hang out until 1.<br>
  
Eforney:
+
I cannot believe the time<br>
Let's be clear
+
Did I really just laugh all night?<br>
Despite how geeky we appear
+
Cause it's plain to see<br>
We're not all CS majors here
+
People in KGB are friends for life <br>
Well, some of us are engineers
+
<br>
  
Do you believe that roofs and steam tunnels exist?
+
="Glisson's Chorus" by jokeserver, to the tune of "Bad Horse Chorus"<br>=
Not at CMU
+
<br>
No way to get there, we insist
+
'''Jboning:'''<br>
We haven't got a clue
+
Glisson, Glisson,<br>
 
+
Glisson, Glisson,<br>
In time, you'll see you forgot
+
He listens to your motions, the president Glisson,<br>
The committees that you have bought
+
He heard the new idea that you just motioned,<br>
And it's plain to see, you'll love the KGB
+
It first needs some discussion, so let the fun begin,<br>
Like it or not
+
A heinous pun, some shout 'til hoarse,<br>
 
+
(A reference to this show, of course)<br>
[duet]
+
<br>
Mander:
+
A vote, a vote,<br>
I've got way too much to do                                 
+
a vote, a vote!<br>
Interp, Calculus, and Concepts, too
+
The question has been called and now it's time to vote,<br>
My homework is everywhere
+
And once you win the auction then we might let you gloat,<br>
And I'm doing my best to care
+
But first if you're in favor, then say you're on a boat,<br>
But I would much rather hang around with you
+
If opposed keep on your clothes<br>
 
+
Or porno squid!<br>
Can't miss out on any one event
+
(abstains, those).<br>
Don't want to miss the fun
+
<br>
But I'm worried about my grade percent
+
="Caring Change" by jokeserver to the tune of "Caring Hands"<br>=
Dropping down to 1.
+
<br>
I cannot believe the time
+
'''Labbott?:'''<br>
Did I really just waste my night?
+
Will you lend some caring change<br>
But it's plain to see
+
And toss me sev'ral pennies<br>
Why I'm in KGB; they're friends for life
+
Nickels, dimes, or quarters, too<br>
Eforney:
+
Just unwrap all your rolls, please<br>
Friday's here
+
<br>
Events are great to spend with peers
+
Clear the decks!<br>
But I'm right at the point of tears
+
<br>
To think that I'll be gone next year
+
="A Man's Gotta Buy" by zsparks, to the tune of "A Man's Gotta Do"<br>=
You should make sure
+
<br>
 
+
'''zsparks:'''
To come to all of our events
+
A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy<br>
You'll have lots of fun
+
Don't make the bid if you can't pay a dime<br>
It won't cost you one more cent
+
Shouts and hollers<br>
To hang out until 1.
+
Zombie dollars<br>
I cannot believe the time
+
Into labbott's hands<br>
Did I really just laugh all night?
+
Soon I'll control everything<br>
Cause it's plain to see
+
Committees small and grand<br>
People in KGB are friends for life
+
<br>
 
+
'''Bswolf:'''<br>
 
+
Stand back everyone, nothin' here to bid<br>
 
+
Just my im'nent winning, right after porno squid<br>
“Glisson’s Chorus” by jokeserver, to the tune of “Bad Horse Chorus”
+
Yes, Dr. Quxuum's here, wallet overflowing, see?<br>
 
+
And I'm gonna buy this committee!<br>
Jboning:
+
A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy<br>
Glisson, Glisson,
+
I'm gonna bid this one up really high<br>
Glisson, Glisson,
+
The only doom that's looming is disbanding all that's left<br>
He listens to your motions, the president Glisson,
+
So I'll give you a sec to cash my check.<br>
He heard the new idea that you just motioned,
+
<br>
It first needs some discussion, so let the fun begin,
+
'''jboning:'''<br>
A heinous pun, some shout 'til hoarse,
+
Thank you, money-man, I'm glad you think it's fun<br>
(A reference to this show, of course)
+
To buy these committees away from everyone<br>
 
+
We would be poor, we'd be all out of money<br>
A vote, a vote,
+
Thank you for giving to The KGB!<br>
a vote, a vote!
+
<br>
The question has been called and now it's time to vote,
+
'''Bswolf:''' Don't worry about it-A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy<br>
And once you win the auction then we might let you gloat,
+
'''jboning:''' You bid far above<br>
But first if you're in favor, then say you're on a boat,
+
'''zsparks:''' Are you kidding?<br>
If opposed keep on your clothes
+
<br>
Or porno squid!
+
'''Bswolf:''' I'm gonna bid this one up really high<br>
(abstains, those).
+
'''jboning:''' I wonder what you're doctor of<br>
 
+
'''zsparks:''' Whose hand were you watching? (stop ignoring my bids like that)<br>
“Caring Change”  by jokeserver to the tune of “Caring Hand”
+
<br>
Labbot?:
+
'''Bswolf:''' When you've got a job you can't stop - would I lie?<br>
Will you lend some caring change
+
'''jboning:''' My Tartan's beating like a drum<br>
And toss me sev'ral pennies
+
'''zsparks:''' Did you notice that he's using plastic money?<br>
Nickels, dimes, or quarters, too
+
<br>
Just unwrap all your rolls, please
+
'''Bswolf:''' If something needs buying, some new financial abuse<br>
 
+
'''jboning:''' ...<br>
Clear the decks!
+
'''zsparks:''' I bought the Van Committee! The winning bid is in my hand!<br>
 
+
<br>
“A Man’s got to Buy” by zsparks, to the tune of “A Man’s Got To Do”
+
'''Bswolf:''' The only doom that's looming is if I don't clear the deck<br>
zsparks:
+
'''jboning:''' ...Assuming you're gonna clear the deck<br>
A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy
+
'''zsparks:''' Whatever.<br>
Don't make the bid if you can't pay a dime
+
<br>
Shouts and hollers
+
'''Bswolf:''' So I'll give you a sec to cash this check.<br>
Zombie dollars
+
'''jboning:''' Please give me a sec to cash this check.<br>
Into labbott's hands
+
'''Glisson:''' Real relevant announcements pertaining to the KGB as an organization CAROLYN! <br>
Soon I'll control everything
+
<br>
Committees small and grand
+
="Keep on Coming" by Sarah to the tune of "Penny's Song"<br>=
Bswolf:
+
<br>
Stand back everyone, nothin' here to bid
+
'''Sarah:'''<br>
Just my im'nent winning, right after porno squid
+
Here’s a story of a club<br>
Yes, Dr. Quxuum's here, wallet overflowing, see?
+
Whose name stands for nothing<br>
And I'm gonna buy this committee!
+
Having lots of fun events<br>
A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy
+
Where people will be going crazy<br>
I'm gonna bid this one up really high
+
<br>
The only doom that's looming is disbanding all that's left
+
Even in the meetings craziness can be found<br>
So I'll give you a sec to cash my check.
+
And every word that’s said brings<br>
jboning:
+
More debating<br>
Thank you, money-man, I'm glad you think it's fun
+
To new committees being formed<br>
To buy these committees away from everyone
+
<br>
We would be poor, we'd be all out of money
+
Doors replaced with windows<br>
Thank you for giving to The KGB!
+
For entering a meeting<br>
Bswolf: Don't worry about it-A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy
+
Committees are easy to buy<br>
jboning: You bid far above
+
If someone does not outbid you<br>
zsparks: Are you kidding?
+
<br>
Bswolf: I'm gonna bid this one up really high
+
Everybody’s coming<br>
jboning: I wonder what you're doctor of
+
What is that up on the board<br>
zsparks: Whose hand were you watching? (stop ignoring my bids like that)
+
And I got hit in the head by people <br>
Bswolf: When you've got a job you can't stop - would I lie?
+
Throwing coins around, I don’t know why<br>
jboning: My Tartan's beating like a drum
+
<br>
zsparks: Did you notice that he's using plastic money?
+
So should I come to another meeting?<br>
Bswolf: If something needs buying, some new financial abuse
+
<br>
jboning: ...
+
="Let's Go Underground" by eforney to the tune of "Brand New Day"<br>=
zsparks: I bought the Van Committee! The winning bid is in my hand!
+
<br>
Bswolf: The only doom that's looming is if I don't clear the deck
+
'''Mander:'''<br>
jboning: ...Assuming you're gonna clear the deck
+
First you went on a CMU Tour<br>
zsparks: Whatever.
+
Well you thought it was cool and to campus were lured<br>
Bswolf: So I'll give you a sec to cash this check.
+
By the stories they told cause they all seemed so charming<br>
jboning: Please give me a sec to cash this check.
+
But my dear, listen here, the truth can be alarming because they<br>
Glisson: Real relevant announcements pertaining to the KGB as an organization CAROLYN!
+
Don't tell the whole tale<br>
 
+
<br>
“Keep on Coming” by Sarah to the tune of “Here’s a Story”
+
'''Eforney:'''<br>
Sarah:
+
We go Underground<br>
Here’s a story of a club
+
And we set you straight<br>
Whose name stands for nothing
+
Because the lies they tell<br>
Having lots of fun events
+
Are something that we hate<br>
Where people will be going crazy
+
We take you through buildings<br>
 
+
Even brand new Gates<br>
Even in the meetings craziness can be found
+
Let's go Underground<br>
And every word that’s said brings
+
<br>
More debating
+
'''Mander:'''<br>
To new committees being formed
+
The UC, as you see, could be modelled after Quake<br>
 
+
Gesling Stadium, often it's more like Gesling Lake<br>
Doors replaced with windows
+
Compass Rose points us Northish, a little bit askew<br>
For entering a meeting
+
Donner Ditch, the basis for Crayola's Donner Blue<br>
Committees are easy to buy
+
And all this has flooded<br>
If someone does not outbid you
+
<br>
 
+
'''Eforney:'''<br>
Everybody’s coming
+
Go through Maggie Mo,<br>
What is that up on the board
+
Scream in Posner Hall<br>
And I got hit in the head by people
+
Head toward CFA<br>
Throwing coins around, I don’t know why
+
Yeah, we can take you all<br>
 
+
Through the corridors<br>
So should I come to another meeting?
+
But not the steam tunnels<br>
“Let’s Go Underground” by eforney to the tune of “Brand New Day”
+
We don't know 'bout them...<br>
 
+
<br>
Mander:
+
'''Mander:'''<br>
First you went on a CMU Tour
+
The Fence, you see, has many histories<br>
Well you thought it was cool and to campus were lured
+
Don't look up, no one's on Doherty's roof<br>
By the stories they told cause they all seemed so charming
+
Baker/Porter slopes, but for factories, nope<br>
But my dear, listen here, the truth can be alarming because they
+
It is totally for chairing, we swear it is the truth<br>
Don't tell the whole tale
+
<br>
 
+
'''Eforney:'''<br>
Eforney:
+
Scaife, Wean, NSH<br>
We go Underground
+
And to Gates we're bound<br>
And we set you straight
+
From fascist balconies<br>
Because the lies they tell
+
The stories will abound<br>
Are something that we hate
+
Now up to The Cut<br>
We take you through buildings
+
Please take that pole down<br>
Even brand new Gates
+
And don't let the grass drown<br>
Let's go Underground
+
That's the Underground<br>
 
+
<br>
Mander:
+
="Get Board Get Carded" by mmeyerho to the tune of "Bad Horse Reprise"<br>=
The UC, as you see, could be modelled after Quake
+
<br>
Gesling Stadium, often it's more like Gesling Lake
+
'''Margaret:'''<br>
Compass Rose points us Northish, a little bit askew
+
Surrounded by the cards and game pieces galore,<br>
Donner Ditch, the basis for Crayola's Donner Blue
+
There're so many things that you won't know what they're for<br>
And all this has flooded
+
With ever so much to do it's sure you won't get bored<br>
 
+
So confusing, just dive in<br>
Eforney:
+
And know the object<br>
Go through Maggie Mo,
+
Is to win<br>
Scream in Posner Hall
+
<br>
Head toward CFA
+
="Keep on Coming" by Sarah to the tune of "Penny's Song"<br>=
Yeah, we can take you all
+
<br>
Through the corridors
+
'''Sarah:'''<br>
But not the steam tunnels
+
Here’s a story of a club<br>
We don't know 'bout them...
+
Whose name stands for nothing<br>
 
+
Having lots of fun events<br>
Mander:
+
Where people will be going crazy<br>
The Fence, you see, has many histories
+
<br>
Don't look up, no one's on Doherty's roof
+
Even in the meetings craziness can be found<br>
Baker/Porter slopes, but for factories, nope
+
And every word that’s said brings<br>
It is totally for chairing, we swear it is the truth
+
More debating<br>
 
+
To new committees being formed<br>
Eforney:
+
<br>
Scaife, Wean, NSH
+
Doors replaced with windows<br>
And to Gates we're bound
+
For entering a meeting<br>
From fascist balconies
+
Committees are easy to buy<br>
The stories will abound
+
If you have a zombie dollar or two<br>
Now up to The Cut
+
<br>
Please take that pole down
+
Anytime you come<br>
And don't let the grass drown
+
There’s one new event on the board<br>
That's the Underground
+
And every one you see will keep on throwing<br>
 
+
Coins down, be wary and duck down<br>
"Get Board Get Carded" by mmeyerho to the tune of “Bad Horse Reprise”
+
<br>
 
+
So keep on coming to the meetings<br>
Margaret:
+
<br>
Surrounded by the cards and game pieces galore,
+
="My Stun Wand" by jokeserver to the tune of "My Freeze Ray"<br>=
There're so many things that you won't know what they're for
+
<br>
With ever so much to do it's sure you won't get bored
+
'''Paul:'''<br>
So confusing, just dive in
+
CtFwS Day <br>
And know the object
+
See you there<br>
Is to win
+
In your base<br>
 
+
Wandering<br>
"Keep on Coming" by Sarah to the tune of “Here’s a Story”
+
<br>
 
+
Want to say<br>
Sarah:
+
"Toast" but I<br>
Here’s a story of a club
+
have no wands<br>
Whose name stands for nothing
+
Anyway<br>
Having lots of fun events
+
<br>
Where people will be going crazy
+
'''Sarah:'''<br>
 
+
With my stun wand I will<br>
Even in the meetings craziness can be found
+
Stop<br>
And every word that’s said brings
+
The world<br>
More debating
+
With my stun wand I will<br>
To new committees being formed
+
Find the time to<br>
 
+
Find your flag and<br>
Doors replaced with windows
+
<br>
For entering a meeting
+
'''Margaret:'''<br>
Committees are easy to buy
+
Get some points<br>
If you have a zombie dollar or two
+
Win the game<br>
 
+
Not get caught<br>
Anytime you come
+
That's the way<br>
There’s one new event on the board
+
<br>
And every one you see will keep on throwing
+
Sneaking in<br>
Coins down, be wary and duck down
+
Sneaking out<br>
 
+
With your flag<br>
So keep on coming to the meetings
+
Anyways<br>
 
+
<br>
 
+
'''Sarah:'''<br>
"My Stun Wand" by jokeserver to the tune of “My Freeze Ray”
+
With my stun wand I will<br>
 
+
Stop<br>
Paul:
+
The chase<br>
CtFwS Day  
+
It's not a vengeance or a goomba<br>
See you there
+
That's for larger groups<br>
In your base
+
I just sneak in the hidden loops<br>
Wandering
+
<br>
 
+
And I'm the one to get that flag<br>
Want to say
+
Avoiding those who try to tag<br>
"Toast" but I
+
I'll score some points for our team<br>
have no wands
+
And if I see Alarm, I'll scre-eam!<br>
Anyway
+
<br>
 
+
That's the plan<br>
Sarah:
+
Stun the world<br>
With my stun wand I will
+
Get the flag<br>
Stop
+
Then repeat<br>
The world
+
<br>
With my stun wand I will
+
Love your flag<br>
Find the time to
+
<br>
Find your flag and
+
'''Margaret and Paul:'''<br>
 
+
[spoken]<br>
Margaret:
+
"What? ...Hey, an enemy!"<br>
Get some points
+
'''Sarah:'''<br>
Win the game
+
"..." [runs away]<br>
Not get caught
+
<br>
That's the way
+
="Slacking" by Mander to the tune of "Slipping"<br>=
 
+
<br>
Sneaking in
+
'''Sarah:'''<br>
Sneaking out
+
Look at these people<br>
With your flag
+
amazing how sleep'll<br>
Anyways
+
get lost to the gaming.<br>
 
+
No one to scold you,<br>
Sarah:
+
but KGB told you,<br>
With my stun wand I will
+
of sites for time maiming.<br>
Stop
+
<br>
The chase
+
'''Jboning:'''<br>
It's not a vengeance or a goomba
+
Why can't they earn their own grades,<br>
That's for larger groups
+
why can't they stay on task?<br>
I just sneak in the hidden loops
+
Is some refurnished source code,<br>
 
+
really too much to ask?<br>
And I'm the one to get that flag
+
But you bask in slacking,<br>
Avoiding those who try to tag
+
I think you're slacking.<br>
I'll score some points for our team
+
<br>
And if I see Alarm, I'll scre-eam!
+
'''Paul:'''<br>
 
+
Soon this behavior,<br>
That's the plan
+
will surely engrave your<br>
Stun the world
+
own repute for being,<br>
Get the flag
+
a product-less worker,<br>
Then repeat
+
a coffee break lurker,<br>
 
+
from jobs you'll be fleeing.<br>
Love your flag
+
<br>
 
+
'''Margaret:'''<br>
Margaret and Paul:
+
Grace the event on Friday,<br>
[spoken]
+
very soon you will find.<br>
"What? ...Hey, an enemy!"
+
Being full bent on hangout,<br>
Sarah:
+
staying with your own kind,<br>
"..." [runs away]
+
will hone your mind to slacking<br>
 
+
KGB's slacking all day, so...<br>
"Slacking" by Mander to the tune of “Slipping”
+
<br>
 
+
Go ahead, play once more!<br>
Sarah:
+
Blame it on KGB.<br>
Look at these people
+
One more hour, one more day,<br>
amazing how sleep'll
+
who really cares?<br>
get lost to the gaming.
+
<br>
No one to scold you,
+
'''Paul:'''<br>
but KGB told you,
+
Make reports, ITR,<br>
of sites for time maiming.
+
Do it with KGB.<br>
 
+
Join a club, eat at trucks,<br>
Jboning:
+
tiny time snares!<br>
Why can't they earn their own grades,
+
Then you'll see, all of these,<br>
why can't they stay on task?
+
add up and overwhelm.<br>
Is some refurnished source code,
+
That's the straw, you're the back,<br>
really too much to ask?
+
your life is ours.<br>
But you bask in slacking,
+
<br>
I think you're slacking.
+
'''Jboning:'''<br>
 
+
You have guilt, but it's fun!<br>
Paul:
+
It is the KGB's turn,<br>
Soon this behavior,
+
Quit thinking that you will learn,<br>
will surely engrave your
+
Your time for homework will burn! Burn!<br>
own repute for being,
+
(Yeah, doesn't stand for anything. Just K-G-Byeah, right) Burn!<br>
a product-less worker,
+
<br>
a coffee break lurker,
+
'''Sarah:'''<br>
from jobs you'll be fleeing.
+
Don't see my advisor,<br>
 
+
good it would be wiser,<br>
Margaret:
+
to keep him from knowing.<br>
Grace the event on Friday,
+
By my own admission,<br>
very soon you will find.
+
now this org's tradition,<br>
Being full bent on hangout,
+
in my life is growing.<br>
staying with your own kind,
+
<br>
will hone your mind to slacking
+
Here's to it growing....<br>
KGB's slacking all day, so...
+
<br>
 
+
Thaat's not a *good* grade....<br>
Go ahead, play once more!
+
<br>
Blame it on KGB.
+
="Everyone Is Useless" by jokeserver to the tune of "Everyone's a Hero"<br>=
One more hour, one more day,
+
<br>
who really cares?
+
'''Bswolf:'''<br>
 
+
Someday you'll ask us, honey<br>
Paul:
+
How to spend your youth<br>
Make reports, ITR,
+
And we'll say help us make money<br>
Do it with KGB.
+
And sell yourself for booth<br>
Join a club, eat at trucks,
+
Give six hours of your free time<br>
tiny time snares!
+
To the person who bid high<br>
Then you'll see, all of these,
+
But even though they own you<br>
add up and overwhelm.
+
You will still control your life<br>
That's the straw, you're the back,
+
<br>
your life is ours.
+
Everyone is useless in their own way<br>
 
+
Everyone's got talents they can sell<br>
Jboning:
+
Juggle, cook, or drive<br>
You have guilt, but it's fun!
+
Or teach someone to jive dance really well<br>
It is the KGB's turn,
+
Everyone is useless in their own way<br>
Quit thinking that you will learn,
+
As a slave but-mostly-legal way<br>
Your time for homework will burn! Burn!
+
<br>
(Yeah, doesn't stand for anything. Just K-G-Byeah, right) Burn!
+
'''Zsparks:'''<br>
 
+
You could buy a chaffeur, I guess<br>
Sarah:
+
(Yeah, we totally have those.)<br>
Don't see my advisor,
+
Or one whom you can impress<br>
good it would be wiser,
+
With how well you can compose<br>
to keep him from knowing.
+
If you have an awesome talent<br>
By my own admission,
+
Or can just put screws in holes<br>
now this org's tradition,
+
It's not enough to donate cash<br>
in my life is growing.
+
You've got to sell your soul<br>
 
+
<br>
Here's to it growing....
+
Everyone is useless in their own way<br>
 
+
Everyone's got money they won't miss<br>
 
+
Bid up, pay up, and buy<br>
Thaat's not a *good* grade....
+
And hope to hell that guy will not outbid<br>
 
+
Everyone is useless in their own way<br>
"Everyone Is Useless" by jokeserver to the tune of “Everyone’s a Hero”
+
You and you and all exec and you<br>
 
+
<br>
Bswolf:
+
'''Mander:'''<br>
Someday you'll ask us, honey
+
I'm KGB's auctioneer<br>
How to spend your youth
+
And I'm selling you young'uns<br>
And we'll say help us make money
+
The highest bidder wins<br>
And sell yourself for booth
+
And after that all yinz can pay for what you've won<br>
Give six hours of your free time
+
<br>
To the person who bid high
+
Everybody!<br>
But even though they own you
+
<br>
You will still control your life
+
Everyone is useless in their own way (we're useless too)<br>
 
+
Everyone could use a brand new 'do (we'll bid on you!)<br>
Everyone is useless in their own way
+
Be sure to pay a lot<br>
Everyone's got talents they can sell
+
We will need all we've got to build our booth<br>
Juggle, cook, or drive
+
Everyone is useless in their own way (we're useless too)<br>
Or teach someone to jive dance really well
+
Now let's start the bidding at 10!<br>
Everyone is useless in their own way
+
<br>
As a slave but-mostly-legal way
+
="Caring Change" by jokeserver to the tune of "Caring Hands"<br>=
 
+
<br>
Zsparks:
+
'''Labbott?:'''<br>
You could buy a chaffeur, I guess
+
Will you lend some caring change<br>
(Yeah, we totally have those.)
+
And toss me sev'ral pennies<br>
Or one whom you can impress
+
Nickels, dimes, or quarters, too<br>
With how well you can compose
+
Just unwrap all your rolls, please<br>
If you have an awesome talent
+
<br>
Or can just put screws in holes
+
Clear the decks!<br>
It's not enough to donate cash
+
<br>
You've got to sell your soul
+
="A Man's Gotta Buy" by zsparks, to the tune of "A Man's Gotta Do"<br>=
 
+
<br>
Everyone is useless in their own way
+
'''zsparks:'''<br>
Everyone's got money they won't miss
+
A man's gotta buy, what a man's gotta buy<br>
Bid up, pay up, and buy
+
Don't make the bid if you can't pay a dime<br>
And hope to hell that guy will not outbid
+
Shouts and hollers<br>
Everyone is useless in their own way
+
Zombie dollars<br>
You and you and all exec and you
+
Into labbott's hands<br>
 
+
Soon I'll control everything<br>
Mander:
+
Committees small and grand<br>
I'm KGB's auctioneer
+
<br>
And I'm selling you young'uns
+
'''Bswolf:'''<br>
The highest bidder wins
+
Stand back everyone, nothin' here to bid<br>
And after that all yinz can pay for what you've won
+
Just my im'nent winning, right after porno squid<br>
 
+
Yes, Dr. Quxuum's here, wallet overflowing, see?<br>
Everybody!
+
And I'm gonna buy this committee!<br>
 
+
A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy<br>
Everyone is useless in their own way (we're useless too)
+
I'm gonna bid this one up really high<br>
Everyone could use a brand new 'do (we'll bid on you!)
+
The only doom that's looming is disbanding all that's left<br>
Be sure to pay a lot
+
So I'll give you a sec to cash my check.<br>
We will need all we've got to build our booth
+
<br>
Everyone is useless in their own way (we're useless too)
+
="Elections" by eforney to the tunes of "So They Say"<br>=
Now let's start the bidding at 10!
+
<br>
 
+
'''Paul:'''<br>
"Throwing Change" by jokeserver to the tune of “Caring Change”
+
So they say that he may run for President <br>
 
+
I think that he would do a good job of it<br>
Labbott?:
+
<br>
Will you lend some caring change
+
'''Jboning:'''<br>
And toss me sev'ral pennies
+
Me too<br>
Nickels, dimes, or quarters, too
+
<br>
Just unwrap all your rolls, please
+
'''Maragert:'''<br>
 
+
So they say she wants RecSec<br>
Clear the decks!
+
<br>
 
+
'''Margaret/Sarah:'''<br>
“A Man’s got to Buy” by zsparks, to the tune of “A Man’s Got To Do”
+
How appropriate!<br>
zsparks:
+
<br>
A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy
+
'''Sarah:'''<br>
Don't make the bid if you can't pay a dime
+
She types fast<br>
Shouts and hollers
+
<br>
Zombie dollars
+
'''Bswolf:'''<br>
Into labbott's hands
+
So they say she'll try Sergeant At Arms<br>
Soon I'll control everything
+
If she doesn't get 2Veep, back up plan<br>
Committees small and grand
+
<br>
Bswolf:
+
'''zsparks:'''<br>
Stand back everyone, nothin' here to bid
+
Contingency!<br>
Just my im'nent winning, right after porno squid
+
<br>
Yes, Dr. Quxuum's here, wallet overflowing, see?
+
'''Currect Exec:'''<br>
And I'm gonna buy this committee!
+
It's time for elections<br>
A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy
+
<br>
I'm gonna bid this one up really high
+
'''Jboning:'''<br>
The only doom that's looming is disbanding all that's left
+
So they say<br>
So I'll give you a sec to cash my check.
+
<br>
 
+
'''Glisson:'''<br>
"Elections" by eforney to the tunes of “So They Say”
+
Because it's almost May<br>
 
+
<br>
Paul:
+
'''Eforney:'''<br>
So they say that he may run for President  
+
Post your platforms to the bboard very soon<br>
I think that he would do a good job of it
+
<br>
 
+
'''Glisson:'''<br>
Jboning:
+
This week...<br>
Me too
+
<br>
 
+
'''Jboning:'''<br>
Maragert:
+
Today!<br>
So they say she wants RecSec
+
<br>
 
+
'''Paul:'''<br>
Margaret/Sarah:
+
So they say he wants CorSec<br>
How appropriate!
+
<br>
 
+
'''Margaret:'''<br>
Sarah:
+
They say he won't publish often<br>
She types fast
+
And doesn't write well <br>
 
+
We have a—<br>
Bswolf:
+
<br>
So they say she'll try Sergeant At Arms
+
'''Paul/Margaret:'''<br>
If she doesn't get 2Veep, back up plan
+
--problem with him<br>
 
+
<br>
zsparks:
+
'''Paul:'''<br>
Contingency!
+
So we won't vote<br>
 
+
<br>
Currect Exec:
+
'''zsparks:'''<br>
It's time for elections
+
This is so nice <br>
 
+
A voting system we only count twice <br>
Jboning:
+
Unless it's really a close call <br>
So they say
+
Then we might count a third time<br>
 
+
<br>
Glisson:
+
'''Zsparks/exec:'''<br>
Because it's almost May
+
Or still a fourth time!<br>
 
+
<br>
Eforney:
+
'''Bswolf:'''<br>
Post your platforms to the bboard very soon
+
Exec's perfect for me <br>
 
+
So they say <br>
Glisson:
+
But it's too late anyway <br>
This week...
+
As a senior, leaving means <br>
 
+
I cannot run, I'm sad to say<br>
Jboning:
+
<br>
Today!
+
'''Exec:'''<br>
 
+
There's no exec spot left <br>
Paul:
+
So they say<br>
So they say he wants CorSec
+
<br>
 
+
'''Glisson:'''<br>
Margaret:
+
For some of you anyway<br>
They say he won't publish often
+
<br>
And doesn't write well  
+
'''Jboning:'''<br>
We have a—
+
Please do not be bitter<br>
 
+
<br>
Paul/Margaret:
+
'''Eforney/Glisson:'''<br>
--problem with him
+
We still want you to stay!<br>
 
+
<br>
Paul:
+
'''zsparks:'''<br>
So we won't vote
+
This is your new exec board<br>
 
+
<br>
zsparks:
+
'''Zsparks/Exec:'''<br>
This is so nice  
+
See you next year!<br>
A voting system we only count twice  
+
<br>
Unless it's really a close call  
+
="KGB Forever" by jokeserver to the tune of "Everything You Ever"<br>=
Then we might count a third time
+
<br>
 
+
'''Bswolf:'''<br>
Zsparks/exec:
+
Here meets KGB<br>
Or still a fourth time!
+
An org to which I pay my dues<br>
 
+
So that I get to choose<br>
Bswolf:
+
Who exec will be<br>
Exec's perfect for me  
+
(KGB Forever)<br>
So they say  
+
It won't be me...<br>
But it's too late anyway  
+
<br>
As a senior, leaving means  
+
So you want this role<br>
I cannot run, I'm sad to say
+
So you think you should be the pres<br>
 
+
And clean up all this mess<br>
Exec:
+
They hope you will be bold<br>
There's no exec spot left  
+
(KGB Forever)<br>
So they say
+
And now we vote<br>
 
+
<br>
Glisson:
+
Now the tally's done!<br>
For some of you anyway
+
Now our new president is here!<br>
 
+
To lead us all next year<br>
Jboning:
+
Salute 'em cause it's fun<br>
Please do not be bitter
+
(KGB Forever)<br>
 
+
And I won't run...<br>
Eforney/Glisson:
+
Again<br>
We still want you to stay!
 
 
 
zsparks:
 
This is your new exec board
 
 
 
Zsparks/Exec:
 
See you next year!
 
 
 
"KGB Forever" by jokeserver to the tune of “Finale”
 
 
 
Bswolf:
 
Here meets KGB
 
An org to which I pay my dues
 
So that I get to choose
 
Who exec will be
 
(KGB Forever)
 
It won't be me...
 
 
 
So you want this role
 
So you think you should be the pres
 
And clean up all this mess
 
They hope you will be bold
 
(KGB Forever)
 
And now we vote
 
 
 
Now the tally's done!
 
Now our new president is here!
 
To lead us all next year
 
Salute 'em cause it's fun
 
(KGB Forever)
 
And I won't run...
 
Again
 

Latest revision as of 15:29, 19 March 2011

This was a collaborative effort on the bboard during the week before KGB Digs Its Own Grave 2009.

KGB's Sing-along Blog Planning

"My KGB" by jvirdo, to the tune of "My Eyes"

Mander:
Any comrade with a brain
Can see the KGB has gone insane
On the other hand, I'd say
That they have always been this way
You can squid if you don't care to abstain

Listen close to all of your exec
And get more tangerines
Even clusterfolk come make the trek
To MM A14

You'll find out this year's booth theme
Groan and laugh at the puns and memes
Anyone who yells
"I have a job!" is held
In high esteem

Eforney:
Let's be clear
Despite how geeky we appear
We're not all CS majors here
Well, some of us are engineers

Do you believe that roofs and steam tunnels exist?
Not at CMU
No way to get there, we insist
We haven't got a clue

In time, you'll see you forgot
The committees that you have bought
And it's plain to see, you'll love the KGB
Like it or not

[duet by jokeserver]
Mander:
I've got way too much to do
Interp, Calculus, and Concepts, too
My homework is everywhere
And I'm doing my best to care
But I would much rather hang around with you

Can't miss out on any one event
Don't want to miss the fun
But I'm worried about my grade percent
Dropping down to 1.

I cannot believe the time
Did I really just waste my night?
But it's plain to see
Why I'm in KGB; they're friends for life

Eforney:
Friday's here
Events are great to spend with peers
But I'm right at the point of tears
To think that I'll be gone next year
You should make sure

To come to all of our events
You'll have lots of fun
It won't cost you one more cent
To hang out until 1.

I cannot believe the time
Did I really just laugh all night?
Cause it's plain to see
People in KGB are friends for life

"Glisson's Chorus" by jokeserver, to the tune of "Bad Horse Chorus"


Jboning:
Glisson, Glisson,
Glisson, Glisson,
He listens to your motions, the president Glisson,
He heard the new idea that you just motioned,
It first needs some discussion, so let the fun begin,
A heinous pun, some shout 'til hoarse,
(A reference to this show, of course)

A vote, a vote,
a vote, a vote!
The question has been called and now it's time to vote,
And once you win the auction then we might let you gloat,
But first if you're in favor, then say you're on a boat,
If opposed keep on your clothes
Or porno squid!
(abstains, those).

"Caring Change" by jokeserver to the tune of "Caring Hands"


Labbott?:
Will you lend some caring change
And toss me sev'ral pennies
Nickels, dimes, or quarters, too
Just unwrap all your rolls, please

Clear the decks!

"A Man's Gotta Buy" by zsparks, to the tune of "A Man's Gotta Do"


zsparks: A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy
Don't make the bid if you can't pay a dime
Shouts and hollers
Zombie dollars
Into labbott's hands
Soon I'll control everything
Committees small and grand

Bswolf:
Stand back everyone, nothin' here to bid
Just my im'nent winning, right after porno squid
Yes, Dr. Quxuum's here, wallet overflowing, see?
And I'm gonna buy this committee!
A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy
I'm gonna bid this one up really high
The only doom that's looming is disbanding all that's left
So I'll give you a sec to cash my check.

jboning:
Thank you, money-man, I'm glad you think it's fun
To buy these committees away from everyone
We would be poor, we'd be all out of money
Thank you for giving to The KGB!

Bswolf: Don't worry about it-A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy
jboning: You bid far above
zsparks: Are you kidding?

Bswolf: I'm gonna bid this one up really high
jboning: I wonder what you're doctor of
zsparks: Whose hand were you watching? (stop ignoring my bids like that)

Bswolf: When you've got a job you can't stop - would I lie?
jboning: My Tartan's beating like a drum
zsparks: Did you notice that he's using plastic money?

Bswolf: If something needs buying, some new financial abuse
jboning: ...
zsparks: I bought the Van Committee! The winning bid is in my hand!

Bswolf: The only doom that's looming is if I don't clear the deck
jboning: ...Assuming you're gonna clear the deck
zsparks: Whatever.

Bswolf: So I'll give you a sec to cash this check.
jboning: Please give me a sec to cash this check.
Glisson: Real relevant announcements pertaining to the KGB as an organization CAROLYN!

"Keep on Coming" by Sarah to the tune of "Penny's Song"


Sarah:
Here’s a story of a club
Whose name stands for nothing
Having lots of fun events
Where people will be going crazy

Even in the meetings craziness can be found
And every word that’s said brings
More debating
To new committees being formed

Doors replaced with windows
For entering a meeting
Committees are easy to buy
If someone does not outbid you

Everybody’s coming
What is that up on the board
And I got hit in the head by people
Throwing coins around, I don’t know why

So should I come to another meeting?

"Let's Go Underground" by eforney to the tune of "Brand New Day"


Mander:
First you went on a CMU Tour
Well you thought it was cool and to campus were lured
By the stories they told cause they all seemed so charming
But my dear, listen here, the truth can be alarming because they
Don't tell the whole tale

Eforney:
We go Underground
And we set you straight
Because the lies they tell
Are something that we hate
We take you through buildings
Even brand new Gates
Let's go Underground

Mander:
The UC, as you see, could be modelled after Quake
Gesling Stadium, often it's more like Gesling Lake
Compass Rose points us Northish, a little bit askew
Donner Ditch, the basis for Crayola's Donner Blue
And all this has flooded

Eforney:
Go through Maggie Mo,
Scream in Posner Hall
Head toward CFA
Yeah, we can take you all
Through the corridors
But not the steam tunnels
We don't know 'bout them...

Mander:
The Fence, you see, has many histories
Don't look up, no one's on Doherty's roof
Baker/Porter slopes, but for factories, nope
It is totally for chairing, we swear it is the truth

Eforney:
Scaife, Wean, NSH
And to Gates we're bound
From fascist balconies
The stories will abound
Now up to The Cut
Please take that pole down
And don't let the grass drown
That's the Underground

"Get Board Get Carded" by mmeyerho to the tune of "Bad Horse Reprise"


Margaret:
Surrounded by the cards and game pieces galore,
There're so many things that you won't know what they're for
With ever so much to do it's sure you won't get bored
So confusing, just dive in
And know the object
Is to win

"Keep on Coming" by Sarah to the tune of "Penny's Song"


Sarah:
Here’s a story of a club
Whose name stands for nothing
Having lots of fun events
Where people will be going crazy

Even in the meetings craziness can be found
And every word that’s said brings
More debating
To new committees being formed

Doors replaced with windows
For entering a meeting
Committees are easy to buy
If you have a zombie dollar or two

Anytime you come
There’s one new event on the board
And every one you see will keep on throwing
Coins down, be wary and duck down

So keep on coming to the meetings

"My Stun Wand" by jokeserver to the tune of "My Freeze Ray"


Paul:
CtFwS Day
See you there
In your base
Wandering

Want to say
"Toast" but I
have no wands
Anyway

Sarah:
With my stun wand I will
Stop
The world
With my stun wand I will
Find the time to
Find your flag and

Margaret:
Get some points
Win the game
Not get caught
That's the way

Sneaking in
Sneaking out
With your flag
Anyways

Sarah:
With my stun wand I will
Stop
The chase
It's not a vengeance or a goomba
That's for larger groups
I just sneak in the hidden loops

And I'm the one to get that flag
Avoiding those who try to tag
I'll score some points for our team
And if I see Alarm, I'll scre-eam!

That's the plan
Stun the world
Get the flag
Then repeat

Love your flag

Margaret and Paul:
[spoken]
"What? ...Hey, an enemy!"
Sarah:
"..." [runs away]

"Slacking" by Mander to the tune of "Slipping"


Sarah:
Look at these people
amazing how sleep'll
get lost to the gaming.
No one to scold you,
but KGB told you,
of sites for time maiming.

Jboning:
Why can't they earn their own grades,
why can't they stay on task?
Is some refurnished source code,
really too much to ask?
But you bask in slacking,
I think you're slacking.

Paul:
Soon this behavior,
will surely engrave your
own repute for being,
a product-less worker,
a coffee break lurker,
from jobs you'll be fleeing.

Margaret:
Grace the event on Friday,
very soon you will find.
Being full bent on hangout,
staying with your own kind,
will hone your mind to slacking
KGB's slacking all day, so...

Go ahead, play once more!
Blame it on KGB.
One more hour, one more day,
who really cares?

Paul:
Make reports, ITR,
Do it with KGB.
Join a club, eat at trucks,
tiny time snares!
Then you'll see, all of these,
add up and overwhelm.
That's the straw, you're the back,
your life is ours.

Jboning:
You have guilt, but it's fun!
It is the KGB's turn,
Quit thinking that you will learn,
Your time for homework will burn! Burn!
(Yeah, doesn't stand for anything. Just K-G-Byeah, right) Burn!

Sarah:
Don't see my advisor,
good it would be wiser,
to keep him from knowing.
By my own admission,
now this org's tradition,
in my life is growing.

Here's to it growing....

Thaat's not a *good* grade....

"Everyone Is Useless" by jokeserver to the tune of "Everyone's a Hero"


Bswolf:
Someday you'll ask us, honey
How to spend your youth
And we'll say help us make money
And sell yourself for booth
Give six hours of your free time
To the person who bid high
But even though they own you
You will still control your life

Everyone is useless in their own way
Everyone's got talents they can sell
Juggle, cook, or drive
Or teach someone to jive dance really well
Everyone is useless in their own way
As a slave but-mostly-legal way

Zsparks:
You could buy a chaffeur, I guess
(Yeah, we totally have those.)
Or one whom you can impress
With how well you can compose
If you have an awesome talent
Or can just put screws in holes
It's not enough to donate cash
You've got to sell your soul

Everyone is useless in their own way
Everyone's got money they won't miss
Bid up, pay up, and buy
And hope to hell that guy will not outbid
Everyone is useless in their own way
You and you and all exec and you

Mander:
I'm KGB's auctioneer
And I'm selling you young'uns
The highest bidder wins
And after that all yinz can pay for what you've won

Everybody!

Everyone is useless in their own way (we're useless too)
Everyone could use a brand new 'do (we'll bid on you!)
Be sure to pay a lot
We will need all we've got to build our booth
Everyone is useless in their own way (we're useless too)
Now let's start the bidding at 10!

"Caring Change" by jokeserver to the tune of "Caring Hands"


Labbott?:
Will you lend some caring change
And toss me sev'ral pennies
Nickels, dimes, or quarters, too
Just unwrap all your rolls, please

Clear the decks!

"A Man's Gotta Buy" by zsparks, to the tune of "A Man's Gotta Do"


zsparks:
A man's gotta buy, what a man's gotta buy
Don't make the bid if you can't pay a dime
Shouts and hollers
Zombie dollars
Into labbott's hands
Soon I'll control everything
Committees small and grand

Bswolf:
Stand back everyone, nothin' here to bid
Just my im'nent winning, right after porno squid
Yes, Dr. Quxuum's here, wallet overflowing, see?
And I'm gonna buy this committee!
A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy
I'm gonna bid this one up really high
The only doom that's looming is disbanding all that's left
So I'll give you a sec to cash my check.

"Elections" by eforney to the tunes of "So They Say"


Paul:
So they say that he may run for President
I think that he would do a good job of it

Jboning:
Me too

Maragert:
So they say she wants RecSec

Margaret/Sarah:
How appropriate!

Sarah:
She types fast

Bswolf:
So they say she'll try Sergeant At Arms
If she doesn't get 2Veep, back up plan

zsparks:
Contingency!

Currect Exec:
It's time for elections

Jboning:
So they say

Glisson:
Because it's almost May

Eforney:
Post your platforms to the bboard very soon

Glisson:
This week...

Jboning:
Today!

Paul:
So they say he wants CorSec

Margaret:
They say he won't publish often
And doesn't write well
We have a—

Paul/Margaret:
--problem with him

Paul:
So we won't vote

zsparks:
This is so nice
A voting system we only count twice
Unless it's really a close call
Then we might count a third time

Zsparks/exec:
Or still a fourth time!

Bswolf:
Exec's perfect for me
So they say
But it's too late anyway
As a senior, leaving means
I cannot run, I'm sad to say

Exec:
There's no exec spot left
So they say

Glisson:
For some of you anyway

Jboning:
Please do not be bitter

Eforney/Glisson:
We still want you to stay!

zsparks:
This is your new exec board

Zsparks/Exec:
See you next year!

"KGB Forever" by jokeserver to the tune of "Everything You Ever"


Bswolf:
Here meets KGB
An org to which I pay my dues
So that I get to choose
Who exec will be
(KGB Forever)
It won't be me...

So you want this role
So you think you should be the pres
And clean up all this mess
They hope you will be bold
(KGB Forever)
And now we vote

Now the tally's done!
Now our new president is here!
To lead us all next year
Salute 'em cause it's fun
(KGB Forever)
And I won't run...
Again