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Officer Reports


Had a weekend. Ran a Call of Cthulu game. Had an interview.


Had a weekend. Got a jacket. There was ITR.

New People

Jule, creative writing, Massachusetts, 10 toes Albert, physics + music composition, Donner and/or Boulder, CO, flipflops are broken

Richard (Bunny)

Had a weekend. Played video games. Played ITR. EVENT! Running, Jumping, Climbing Trees. Watch the bboard for rain plans.


Had a weekend. ITR. Orchestra. Went to an opera. Picked up a few Russian words. Did not pick up any Russian guys.


Oh man, has a report. Trying to bring back that thing where everyone begins their reports with "oh man." Had a weekend. Slept a lot. Skipped due to headache. Couldn't fall asleep; read old bboard posts. Yes, we know you paid your dues and it's not shown on the roster yet. No, we don't care.


Dues are due. Had a weekend. Compiler compiles but doesn't compile.


Has a bike! It was sitting in the rain for three years. Fixed it up, and it works :D It cost $7. Bought a helmet and a lock. This cost $60. Was in lab from 6:30-9:30. (6:30PM-9:30AM).


Doing it Wrong Committee & Ad-Hoc Committee to Beautify Campus

Digging on Walking to the Sky hit another pipe

Weird Dreams Committee & Time Travel Committee

In the future, cars will have bad owner's manuals

Weird Dreams Committee

On the back of a speeding train having an epic battle with Gerudos

CMU Can't Keep It Up Committee

Also shot too soon

Shawn & Quuxum Variety Hour

Reasons why English is easier than Russian: "hello" is REALLY LONG

Misappropriated Committee to Pillage & Burn Pitt During Spring Break

Isn't sure if it's needed any more

Committee to Play a D&D Campaign Set in Pittsburgh This Weekend


Shouted "d20 at the G20; 4th edition sucks"

Discovered one of Glisson's old high school friends on the GiantITP forums

Misappropriated Random Art on Campus Committee

Go to Gates 5 by the carrels. Weird parabola things.

Pop Occultism Committee

The best way to have the last word is to apologize. Or to motion to GTFO.

Ad-Hoc About Last Event Committee

A lot of people have good singing voices; should do that more.

Storytelling Committee

Zarf's clock.

Ad-Hoc Storytelling Corollary Commmittee

"rotate clockwise"

"...is that up or down?"

Ad-Hoc Committee to Hear Uninteresting Things

A new person arrived

Ad-Hoc Whoa Holy Crap Committee

Shawn & best friend were physics & music composition

[This was in reference to the new person who had just introduced himself. See above. --jboning]

Gunpowder Plot Committee

Couldn't use explosives for dynamics project

Ad-Hoc Whoa Holy Crap Committee

Whoa holy crap

Inappropriate and Awkward Musical Accompaniment Committee

We should rent people out to accompany people musically

Old Business

Alan has the thing. Slowness of planning for KGB Sing-Along Blog is not his fault.

New Business

KGB Sing-Along Blog Committee

Purpose: to create a KGB Sing-Along Blog


Purpose: to create a musical for kgb

Favor: sing a kgb dr horrible song in unison; no, just make noise; Opposed: sing from some other thing; Abstain: squid musically

$12 to bswolf; anyone who contributes to KGB Sing-Along Blog.

Storytelling Corollary Committee

Purpose: to make corollaries to told stories

Purpose: to tell corollary stories; to store corollary tellies; to corral storytellers

Ad-Hoc Story Theorem & Lemma Committee approve

Time Travel Committee reports success

Boing Boing Blub Blub Boom Committee approves

and then I found 5 dollars

Purpose: to tell corollary stories; to store corollary tellies; to give storytellers coral

Favor: tell a corollary story; Opposed: laugh at Drew; Abstain: tell the most uninteresting story you can think of

$6 to Dannel; anyone who wishes to [purpose][1], to give storytellers coronaries

Bold Committee

Purpose: to be exuberant but cause people to ignore us anyway

Name: Strong Committee

Name: Tom Strong Committee

Name: Strombold Committee

Purpose: to type in bold with boxing gloves on

Name: Tom Strong Nuclear Force Committee

Favor: impersonate Tom Strong writing a letter in bold with boxing gloves on while a nuclear meltdown happens behind him; Opposed: plain bold is much better than what this committee has become; Abstain: jellyfish

$3 to Alan; disbanded

Committee to Catapult Kesden

Purpose: So Kesden can fly

Painful for students who fall asleep in class

Foffman Committee: kresdang

Favor: mime Kesden as he is airborne and falling fast; Against: act like Foffman with his feet firmly planted on the ground; Abstain: act like a drama teacher buried halfway underground

$6 to Dannel; Tim Hoffman and himself

Allocate $50 for Event

Good Idea.

Internym Committee

Purpose: to figure out what the z stands for

rntz r arntzenius

KGB warms Alan's heart

Glisson needs to take medication

Favor: tell Glisson what the z in zsparks stands for; Opposed; tell Glisson what the p in zsparks stands for; abstain: tell Glisson what the q in zsparks stands for

$10 to Alan; anyone who regularly uses internyms when sending emails to ground lists



Pay them!


Climbing, Jumping, Running Trees. 7PM, Flagstaff Hill.


Wanna be a judge? Email exec@cmukgb.org


Have a cool design? Email exec@cmukgb.org

Puzzle Hunt

Wanna help out and not a freshman? Email djurado@andrew


Donut Dash and stuff

Wanna participate? Email mbk@andrew