Wean

Wean is a building on the CMU campus. Built into the side of a hill, Wean is a giant, reinforced-concrete bunker. Chosen as one of the world's most beautiful concrete structures, Wean is also the safest place on campus in the event of nuclear attack. In addition, Wean is equipped with futuristic Mech technology that allows it to rise up in the form of WeanBot, ready to defend Pittsburgh from foreign aggression.

Mother Wean comforts us and nurtures us. Safe in her cold, concrete bosom, we are free to engage in the various pursuits of the mind that have called us together. Without her, the burden of existence would simply be too much to bear. Occasionally she sells t-shirts.