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KGB General Body Minutes 4/28/2008


Jared: Donno where everyone is. Maybe just father back.

      Comrade Points: Everyone's comrad points restored!
                      Everyone booth gets 1000 points per hour!
                      Useless stuff action -- 10^-6 per points awarded there.
      Jared can say "the chair will entertain the motion to X". Then "so moved"

then "seconded" and then gives an example

      Someone tries this out by moving to salute the president and it happens
       Busy as booth... how does that work?

Glisson: First report as 1st VP.

       New people: Laural. Engineering. Ten fingers!
       Will get better as time goes on.
       Went to highschool prom. Shawn is jealous.

Caroline: Didn't do anything exiting.

       Saw a concert. Four cellos. Thought about super conductors.
       TWO EVENTS: End of year BBQ! Bring food!
                   Puzzle hunt! Saturday! Will be cool. Go to both.

Nicole: Has a report now! Had a dance full weekend. Dancing every day this week. Lots of exams.

       Come watch her dance. 

Drew: Weekend. Full of nothing. And cash out.

Laura: Has a report. Went to comiccon. Bought serenity comic. Mecha charlie brown. Getting over a cold.

Liz: Not throwing pennies at her! Went to the strip. With freshmen and other people. Lots of little things that added up to nothing. Freshmen out rank her.


$800 for all of the last minute booth payments. Passed by acclamation. $150 for the puzzle hunt. Passed by acclamation. $50 for meat and no meat for non idea. Passed by acclamation. Changed to $80. Passed again by acclamation. $10 to renew CMUKGB.org. Passed by acclamation.


Pop Occultism: Dr Quuxum birthday #30.

       All the news you rec vie will be positive and uplifting -- new officers.
       Try to challenge excess energies into rejuvenation -- Quuxum is 30 now.
       Nothing is impossible is a willing heart -- at 30 heart beat is less willing.
       Practice makes perfect -- speaking of poking badgers with spoons...
       The courage to be great lies deep within each of us -- deep inside can find the

courage to buy a really good spoon to poke really badgery badgers.

       One look is worth 1000 words -- can make meetings shorter.
       Some pursue happiness, you create it --- wrong meeting.
       Once again keep true to dreams of youth -- less repetitive reports.

Row of Matts: Showing of Wizard People, redub of original HP meeting. Not a KGB event, but we are all invited. (more more different kind of a event).

Pigeon holing committee: Welcome officers to new holes.

Groan at Ben Wolf's jokes: Girl from Cheq Republic who plays Chess so that he can have a check mate.

Punch meme - punches himself.

Story telling committee: The octopus story (for Glisson):

Professor has daughter named Elizabeth. Went to beautiful beach. Goes snorkeling. Runs into some other guy.

"Do you know what I saw" / "Was it a fish" / "An octopus" / "An octopus? Did you try to grab it" / "Not the first thing that came to mind... no" / "You must try to grab it! Let me get my spear gun"

Go out to find the spear gun. Find one, shoot it with spear gun. Just makes it angry. Octopus attacks! Octopus has beak. Biting at other guy. But hes calming holding it like a big tentacle cheeseburger!

"And now, to kill it, I must bite it between the eyes!"

That actually paralyzes it for life... and kills it. Pulls out octopus holding bag. Stuffs dead octopus in. Head back to the beach.

Daughter run ups. "Did you get anything" / "I have slayed an octopus" / "Can I touch it?" / "You can tenderize it. By throwing it against the rocks 100 times. Break everything in the octopus" / "Ok!" goes off an tenderizes catapults against the rocks.

Brings it back "I think I tenderized it" / "Too wet. You must dry it as well. Take it by tentacles and spin it. 30 times".

Takes it back. Used for feast! Takes it to eating place. "I have slain an octopus"

/ "Oh sweet!" / "It is very tender and dry." / "Perfect! I will grill it up and

make you octopus for dinner. But 20 people... not enough!" / "Let me get the spear gun..."


Pfenning: Paul had it. Glisson gets it. Octopuses are not his fault.

NEW BUSINESS: (doing it again)

Dom proposes some committee about Liz and Glisson and fishes.

       Conner: Pigeon Holing supports
       Shawn: Followed by motion to find or built KGB a spear gun.
       Ben Wolf: Committee to build KGB a fish slightly afraid
       Row of Matts: Strongly opposed. If we're trying to treat him like a fish -- are we

confused as an organization? Glisson is. In favor: Tenderize an Octopus Oppose: Stop tenderizing Glisson Abstain: Dry an Octopus. Passes. Sells for: $20 to Glisson and Paul and Laura. All three to chair.

Shawn: Motion to create the committee to find or build KGB a spear gun.

       Dom: Its in the van
       Greg: Can we use theremin?
       Shawn: Last booth had a theremin...
       Glisson: Spear guns Jared. Makes Jared angry.

In favor: Get the spear guns from the van. Oppose: GET TO THE CHOPPER! Abstaining: Porno Squid Passes! $4 to Dr. Quuxum. Ben Wolf and he to chair.

Dannel: Committee to denounce admissions as clearly racist. Purpose: Its been really sunny. Cover by Walking to the Sky covered white person, caution taped black people.

       Liz: FMS not Admissions.
       Shawn: Denounce the bishop. Damned dirty lie perpetrated by Peruvians.
       ITS A TARP!
       Paul: Motion to change name to committee to denounce admissions as raisins.
       Conner: heard it from the grape vine.
       Shawn: No one would eat an oatmeal and admissions committee

In favor: Nailed to a wall. Opposed: Act like a raisin. Abstain: Fetal position Passes! $4 to Evan. Evan and Conner to chair.

Jkeller: Motion to create the committee to implement an overzealous autoconfig.

       Its an XKCD idea.
       What number... 416?

In favor: Make a Wifi joke. (Wifi, I hardly knew her!) Opposed: Make an XK86 reference. Abstain: Make fun of Jared for losing his words. Passes: $2 to Aballard. Himself to chair.


Ben Wolf: Tuesday Night, All University Orchestra will be preforming. Glisson: Wizard people! Redub of harry potter. Sat 8:30 in this room maybe. Conner: ESG 5328 wean. 6:30. Old CS lounge. JC talks about stuff.


TWO EVENTS! End of year picnic and puzzle hunt. EoYP is Friday. Come to Kirr Commons at 6:30. Or Farpark at 7. Puzzle Hunt. Saturday starting at noon. Donno where. Saturday starting at noon. Lounge is reserved during finals week. Will post times. Reserved except for finals week. If you bought useless stuff, PAY FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GO BACK TO NEW BUSINESS! (again again?)

Motion to change the pound defines in the correct manner. Pound define Teki jgg -- passes by acclamation. Kick Teki in the ass and adjourn.