From KGB Wiki
Broman had a weekend involved like 12 hours of magic and an hour of ITR and maybe 6 hours of diplomacy (7 hours?) did some other stuff that wasn't work still not doing work tonight because Bubbles invited him to play fantasy football
Caroline had a week on the weekend got dressed up super fancy and went to a burger joint where the servers were REALLY confused fell over laughing about spaghetti at one point new people! (Name, Major, place of origin, uninteresting fact) Spencer, vocal performance, Vancouver, enjoys riding bikes Victoria, architecture, new jersey, has skin the color of pancake batter Melvin, architecture, Johto region, is yellow
JRAM had a weekend invented a game called Dodge Frisbee, AKA You Should Be Running Why Aren't You Running also other things such as ITR and How to Brutally Betray Your Team Members in Halo EVENT! Underground tour Friday, 7:30, UC Black Chairs dress inconspicuously!
Marlena had a weekend started with the event then woke up real early and went downtown and played games with strangers some of the games may appear at events in the future! didn't go to itr because she was exhausted after running for 10 hours watched Wall-E instead played...something on Sunday no one submitted to Pravda?, so there isn't a Pravda? this week! submit art, poems, writing!
Zora had a weekend! Did homework, a lot of homework, but not enough homework, and cleaned the kitchen Feels accomplished even if they aren't sure anything actually got accomplished
Dillon had a weekend a weekend went to the event (that was fun) participated in Dodge Frisbee (arguably less fun) played diplomacy on Sunday (again, arguably less fun)
Mike is not Mike had a weekend played ITR, knows that because Dan was there after that there's just a mysterious haze pretty sure Dan bought a bike he is now in the cult
Ditto Committee: elekid! Untap of Places that Don't Exist Committee: Wean is more defendable for CtFwS because the exits on 3 and 4 no longer exist Whatever tvauhan's Mashup Committee Was: reports with Gangnam Train Bike Committee: welcomes its new members, dkirby and Spencer. They'll find you. Misappropriated We So White Committee: thank you Misappropriated Bike Committee: soon? Name of That Committee Committee: this is a report Committee to Assassinate the President: FIRE Alcoholist Committee: initial foray to Stacks was 2/3 successful. Reccommends the Long Island Iced Tea but not whatever that blue one was Committee to Not Split Infinitives: Failure ad hoc Comittee to Prevent West Wing's Fire Alarm From Going Off: Failure ad hoc Latin is a Dead Language Would You Please Stop Using It Committee: Failure LATIN WORDS Committee: reports ad hoc French Words: French should be the semi-oficcial language of the KGB because French was actually used in Russia ad hoc Ukranian Committee: We should just go all the way back and use Ukranian as our official language 'Murica Committee: Is not happy with any of this. ad hoc Russian Words: RUSSIAN WORDS ((it seemed unhappy, but that might just be Russian))
The Thing Alex has thing Stupid things he does are not his fault this week
The Committee Which Will Take 7 Years to Pass: to take 7 years to pass motion to postpone for 7 more years? we've gone about this REALLY hastily! motion to call Glisson and tell him to get his butt over here out of order eforney is definitely both older and taller than McGinnis proposal withdrawn change all instances of "pass" to "pass gas" FAILS change purpose to "take 7 lightyears to pass" FAILS change purpose to "to have passed 7 years ago" PASSES change all instances of "pass" to "fail" FAILS motion to postpone for 7 years FAILS change all instances of "7" to "8" FAILS motion to stop asking about the number 7 only 90s kids will get this joke PASSES $50 to Margaret, Margaret and Evan Danaher will chair
The Committee That Will Pass 7 Days From Now: to pass 7 days from now sooooooon change purpose to "to have passed 7 days ago" PASSES change name to "The Committee That Will Pass 7 Years From Now", purpose to "eught" PASSES The Committee to Test the Rec Sec approves motion to postpone for 7 years we should use next largest prime number (11) if it's not on a Monday, the next meeting afterwards changed to the time of the postponement to 7 years, rounded to the nearest Monday FAILS change all instances of "days" to "wonders" PASSES change all instances of "years" to "wonders" PASSES change purpose to "to have passed 7 wonders ago" PASSES PASSES $7 to Drew, ccolombo will chair Name and purpose now: "The Committee That Will Pass 7 Wonders From Now: to have passed 7 wonders ago"
The 2 Armies Problem Sabotoge Committee: To make sure the peace treaty between the loyalists and the rebels never gets to its destination change name to "Sidewalk Loyalists Committee" and purpose to "to get rid of rebel scum" PASSES change all instances of "rebels" to "bells" PASSES change all instances of "bells" to "hell" PASSES change all instances of "scum" to "bugmars" PASSES change all instances of "hells" to "humans" PASSES PASSES $3 to drew, DISBANDED THE REBELS WILL TRIUMPH
Sidewalk Rebels Committee dilatory
Committee With a Different End: Committees used to fail in interesting ways. Then we made more money off more interesting committees. See, this one's not interesting FAILS
Quantum Mechanics Committee: to travel through time, righting all wrongs motion to indefinitely postpone so the committee doesn't collapse into a single state PASSES
The Committee to Take it Easy on the Rec Sec: EVIL LAUGHTER change each "ha" to "bugmars" PASSES change each successive syllable to the next odd number PASSES change each nth odd number to each nth Mersenne prime PASSES PASSES $6 to Victoria, Melvin will chair Name and purpose now: Fuck you figure it out yourself
Quantum Mechanics Union: to ensure wellbeing of all those who work on quanta something something bugmars motion to measure the speed of this committee PASSES, good luck fuck you scott walker change all instances of "union" to "intersection" change all instances of "intersection" to "anion" motion to measure the position of the committee in the shop? PASSES $2 to Skittles, McGinnis will chair
Motion to allocate $150 for the next two events! It's more than usual because food for the Underground Tour is expensive Vegetarian count: 3 you can absolutely get your burger without cheese PASSES
The Out of Order Committee fails for lack of a purpose
The Real-tea Party: throwing tea into bodies of water change purpose to "to sell houses" PASSES PASSES $2 to Skittles, eforney will chair
The SAT Prep Committee: to give the KGB a vocab word of the day change name to "The 3SAT Prep Committee" PASSES change all instances of the letter "t" to "a drink with jam and bread" PASSES change all instances of "vocabulary words" to "math problems" FAILS PASSES $3 to eforney, linguists will chair (which is to say everyone) Name and purpose now: "a drink with jam and breadhe 3SAa drink with jam and bread Prep Commia drink with jam and breada drink with jam and breadee: a drink with jam and breado give a drink with jam and breadhe KGB a vocab word of a drink with jam and breadhe day"
EVENT! Underground Tour UC Black Chairs, Friday, 7:30 p.m. learn all the dark secrets of CMU dress inconspicuously Posters! take some and put them places! or, print some out and put them in places ON CAMPUS you can find them at cmukgb.org, on the propaganda page try not to put more than 1 on any one bulletin board interesting placements are good, bad placements are bad
puzzlehunt planning meeting Porter A19, Tuesday, 9:30 pm actual Puzzlehunt will be on Oct 12!
pay your dues! $20/year, $15/semester they make you a real voting member, able to vote on real important stuff! also you get discounts on tshirts Pay Dillon then give Zora your andrewID
Steven is missing a nerf gun! (Nevermind, we found it)
Activities Fair Wednesday at 4:30 on the CFA lawn everyone should go, but especially freshmen you can learn about all the student organizations all the buggy orgs will be there
motion to purple and getfood