(I was sick so these minutes were written by Rin. I apologize for no indentation)
OFFICER REPORTS Skye Slept forever and stabbed people User testing is terrible Dylan Debugging spark More new people Murphy ITR iPhone 7 is broken Rin Googly eyes Harry (Actually Joe) Joe TOC bullshit Wow we have no money Nika Beat up by a tree Paleo dinner party
COMMITTEE REPORTS Shit my Chem 2 professor says: in the 60s the far left and the far right teamed up to cause trouble. Words only thermo people and Mexicans know? Free Qdoba! Some level of irony: TOC signs were handwritten Murphy’s old code is bad? Processors go nyoom? Counterrevolutionaries in KGB are going to be guillotined Dress code changes? yeah no Architecture project called “fwap.”
OLD BUSINESS Cliff has the thing Procrastination is not his fault
NEW BUSINESS Free the UC Stones Committee They’re in cages. Free them. Wasn’t it temporary? Harambe harambe Dicks out for stones. Wait for TOC? Geology club? Murphy only eats cage free stones Moss gathering It passed. Sold to Joe for $3 Chaired by the UC Stones Shadow the Hedge Fund Corporation Recruiting Committee So we have about 3 million middle manager positions open and we thought it would be a good idea to come here and recruit a bunch of CS students for shits and giggles Dylan played Shadow the Hedge Fund when he was younger Murphy worked at Shadow the Hedge Fund Corporation It passed. Sold to Nick for $4 Chaired by fake gold coins Fun Fact Committee To KILL those who are curiously interested and just want to get to know you The ad-hoc Shadow the Hitman Committee reports… Soon Google destroys everything Parsey McParseface is a stupid tool Dylan’s field is made of stupid tools Make up fun facts; it’s much better. Especially if they’re incredibly dark. The ad-hoc Un-Fun Fact Committee would like to remind you that Global Warming is still a very serious issue Venmo is bad at users and careers It passed. Sold to Broman for $12 Chaired by anyone who is inexplicably filled with murderous rage FUN. Facts: Some Nights was recorded in 2012 Fun Fax Committee? Write a piece of paper, scan it, email it to someone, and call it fax Entirely black fax pages: fax machines will invert color if it’s mostly black Fun facts: Fax aren’t fun The dial-up tone took time to load It passed. Sold to Cam for $2 Chaired by whatever FedEx Express used to be. Kinkos? Yeah let’s go with Kinkos Andrew Carnegie Abuse Committee So I have a friend who one day went to print and got a bunch of pictures of himself which of course wasn’t what he wanted so someone sent a bunch of pictures of him to his andrewID and I don’t know why $40: 800 pages of double-sided dickbutt Superhero Quint Prota Fax a fox Send a foxy fax Foxy fax committee: 8================================...=======D~ It passed. Sold to Raymond for $1 Chaired by all Andrew printer uses and Andrew Carnegie Adult Breakfast Club Kinkos are my favorite cereal It passed. Sold to Janine for $3 Chaired by Kinkos $50 for Zombies It passed. $51 for food and supplies for this week’s event It passed. $2 to make Murphy feel bad Bad how? Emotionally, psychologically, physically? Joe can’t reimburse you morally Spend $2 at Kinkos to make a sad face and put it on Murphy’s door Pass stupid meme ideas from over the weekend Cat Fax Committee Cats use their tails for balance and something Redundant with the Internet This has stopped us exactly once before Cat is a fruit, don’t put it in a fruit salad. Fax Cat Facts to Fast Tax? It passed. Sold to Nick for $6 Chaired by Cancel Motion to rename the KGB Cancel Dropbox T-Shirts Committee To find out if the people wearing them know they’re furries Might be fans of Bill Clinton Furries/quadrupedal robots? People’s computers have stupid ideologies Throw computers down a Cliff? It actually failed. Committee to Fail (is this a strong motion?) Pretty much that It passed. Sold to Owen for $10 DISBANDED Post p-values or something To accept the Null Hypothesis d20s and critical failure Joe’s die has the 1’s rolled out of it now Data Bacon is Broman’s new dial-up tone cover band Data Bacon is Dylan’s new startup Raymond got a 2 in AP Stat Broman makes $10,000 a week working from home at Data Bacon Parlor game called 6 Degrees of Data Bacon It passed. Sold to Joe for $2 Chaired by Skye Committees with Misleading Names Uh huh Is this committee included? It passed. Sold to Murphy for $1 DISBANDED That was the correct decision Which banded? Standing rule that the word “Shadow” refers to “Shadow the Hedgehog” Fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish Spoontinudigu It passed. Shadow the Hedgehog the Hedgehog the Hedgehog the Hedgehog Committee Approves Ad-Hog Committee To replace as many rules in this space with hog-related rules Watch “Over the Hedge” It passed. Sold to Broman for $2 Chaired by those who hog the data Alexandre Gustave Eiffel Memorial Committee He ain’t got nobody, so listen Motion to make it green Motion to paint it black Purple Squid It passed. Sold to Quinn for $2 Chaired by Shadow the Hedgehog Do we open a new window Faux Committee Do you realize when you motion to GTFO no one actually gets Pho? Dinner should be renamed faux pas It failed.
REAL RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS Get Board Get Carded PH A18* Friday 7PM Dues Zombies feedback Message Dylan Come to exec
SCHMUCKS Watch cinematically important Star Trek episodes with Murphy Tim got a Wigglytuff and it’s cute and tiny Get food with us Skye’s Where in Gay History thing?