Difference between revisions of "Minutes20130212"

Revision as of 23:50, 2 December 2013

OFFICER REPORTS

   Broman
       had a weekend
       has been gone for a while, sort of
       went to New York last Monday
           for an interview that probably went well
           got to fly home directly, at a reasonable hour
               instead having to be at the airport at four in the morning and having a connection
       has concluded flying operations for the next three weeks

   Caroline
       is stuck at the airport
       "goddamn plane was so full so they had to check my bag"
           and other beautiful tweets
       new people
           Steven, MechE, South Florida, only has one pair of shoes that work in the snow

   JRAM
       had a Thanksgiving
       had two Thanksgiving meals
       got grad school applications done
       played a lot of video games
       it was a successful break
       EVENT
           KGB Falls On Its Ass
           Friday, 8:30, PHA18A
           we'll leave for the rink soon after that
           cost $4, plus skate rental ($2.50)
       OTHER EVENT
           Geek Eat
           at the Cheesecake factory, the reservation is for 5:00
           meet at black chairs at 4:00
           RSVP by the start of the event on Friday

   Marlena
       had a Thanksgiving
       began with a 9:00am plane flight
       got to see her dogs, who are fluffy
           and also family, she guesses that was nice too
       participated in three generational cook shenanigans
       given her sister's love of showing her youtube videos, has now probably seen every single tf2 video on the internet
       came back on a 6:00am flight

   Zora
       had a Thanksgiving
       started on Tuesday, with baking pies
       then catching a plane at 9:00 in the morning on Wednesday
       Thanksgiving itself involved getting in a fight with their uncle about linguistics
           then using a recording of Thanksgiving dinner, which included the fight about linguistics, to do a linguistics project
           linguistics was a theme over break
               also homework
       then eventually they got back to Pittsburgh

   Dillon
       had a Thanksgiving
       left campus at four in the morning
       spent Thanksgiving working becuase his family is moving
       still tons of food and tons of fun
       got back late last night

   Mike
       had a weekend/Thanksgiving break
       started with driving Zora to the airport at ass o' clock in the morning
       made mashed sweet potatoes on Thursday
           which included putting brown sugar on top and applying a blowtorch
               and not buring the apartment down
           Maija held the fire extinguisher
       then watched a lot of media
       and did not do work

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   ad hoc I Feel Safe Committee
       the TSA confiscated Frieder's Swiss Army Knife on the way back to Pittsburgh
       but not on the way out
       and not the other two knives that he brought back

   ad hoc I Feel Safe Committee
       at security for one of Dillon's flights there was nobody even WATCHING the x-ray machine

   ad hoc I Feel Safe Committee
       Maija misses her fire extinguisher

   dkirby all of the committees, one of which is misappropriated
       his family spent Thanksgiving complaining about Obamacare

   ad hoc I Feel Safe Committee
       there are a lot of coyotes in Texas
       Marlena's neighbor offered to teach them tricks for dealing with them
           also mentioned that they have a silencer

   ad hoc Unfortunate Typo Committee
       97% of public would prefer GMOs to be dangerous

   ad hoc I Feel Safe Committee
       half of Maija's jaw cracked really loudly just now

   ad hoc Peace Love Turnpike Committee
       what

   ad hoc Minnesota Transportations Committee
       they're building a whole airport across the state
       in order to get from place to place, you just run across the airport
           which covers the whole state

   ad hoc New State Mottos Committee
       Minnesota, the land of a thousand lakes and one airport

OLD BUSINESS

   The Thing!
       all the travel headaches caused in the coming week are not Stuart's fault

NEW BUSINESS

   New Boots Committee: perform a series of tests on said boots to see if they are in fact made for walking
       change all instances of "boots" to "booth"
           PASSES
       has she tried the Minnesota airport?
       Booth Committee: this booth is NOT made for walking
       change all instances of "booth" to "booooooooth"
           PASSES
       there's not three feet of clearance in those boots
       Ethan was going to make a kinky boots joke
           but now we can make a kinky booth joke
       PASSES
       $2 to McGinnis, disbanded

   Naptime Committee: snoring
       change purpose to "xxxxx chhhhhhh"
           PASSES
       change purpose to "darth vader breathing noises"
           PASSES
       during Marlena's 8:30 art class, everyone was really tired
           so to wake them up the teacher made them line dance for 10 minutes
           it worked
       change purpose to "dark helmet breathing noises"
           PASSES
       your kitchen spices need their rest too
           nap thyme
           4
       did Marlena really get new boots?
           they look really smooth for reality
       $3 to Ethan, you become a chair of this committee each day that you nap

   Committer Committee: to commit and push
       Frieder gets this joke
       we aren't ready for this kind of committement
       the KGB can't stand for this kind of subversion
       change all instances of "Committer" to "Committer Critter"
           PASSES
       ad hoc I Got Beaten To The Get And Subversion Jokes Committee
           mercurial, bitches
       something about pull
       I'm not a cs major so I don't understand what this commmittee is for loop
       WHILE we're on this topic
       motion to roll back this committee? I don't like these changes
           FAILS
       PASSES
           $3 to Frosty, everyone shall chair

   Apparently I'm Still Sleeping Committee: it's a dream it doesn't matter anyway
       Daniel John Kirby Nightmare In Dreamland Committee
           Oren kinda knew he was asleep
           he was dreaming that he was in calc lecture
           He was called on by the professor to do a problem on the board
               He replied, "No thank you, Professor. I'm asleep, I don't have to do math."
       you have to wake up
       ad hoc Lucid Dream Committee: let's fly
       Marlena will be accepting purpose changes for things that she has to do while she's asleep
       change puropse to "buy a bagel and shoot the cashier"
           sorry Ethan
           FAILS
       change purpose to ...something?
           FAILS
       change purpose to "always be squidding"
           PASSES
       change purpose to "[insert otherwise unattainable celebrity here]"
           which one?
               the one that you want the most
           FAILS
       insert unatainable actor WHERE?
       you have to wake up
       change purpose to that kickball thing
           FAILS
       change purpose to "buy this committee"
           PASSES
       misappropriated KGB Makes A Porno Committee: motion to change the purpose back to the one including second base
           dilatory, poorly defined
       PASSES
       $13 to McGinnis, dkirby will chair

   KGB TSA Committee: to be directly responsible for making sure that no one in this room will get home on time
       change purpose to "to be directly responsible for making sure that no one in this room will get to kiltie on time"
           PASSES
       bar the doors
       change all instances of "on time" to "with nailclippers"
           FAILS
       who brought a fire to the meeting?
       append "with nailclippers" to the purpose
           PASSES
       $2 to Frieder, no one who will leave this place never will chair (so everyone)

   Consensitive Committee: create unusual words sounding like things--like "predactive"
       irrigardless
       this is a wonturfferal idea
       how does this committee feel about the concept of ethnophysics?
       how many words do you think this committee will make? like, a guestimate?
           more than threeve
       how does this committee feel about pseudosyzygy?
       PASSES
       $3 to Frosty, McGinnis will chair

   Committee Dedicated To Exploration, Discovery, And Research Of Space Pickles: to build a dillatorium
       ad hoc Watchtower Committee: we found pickles in our fridge
           they weren't put in there as pickles
       motion to add suspicious quotation marks around the last word in the purpose
           PASSES
       Innovative Technologies Committee, in conjunction with the Dillontory Committee: approves
       Skyentology: sorry about the abundance of space pickles
           they weren't there to start
       ad hoc USSR Committee: would like to rspond with a space potato
           spudnik
       it is Oren's opinion that space pickles are the only ones that can be used for pickle chips
           to be eaten with grilled cheese sandwiches made from moon cheese
       PASSES
       $4 to Mike, Mike and the other chairs of the Innovative Technologies Committee will chair

   Real Money? Committee: you mean we're supposed to pay real money for these?
       change name to "Bitcoin"
           FAILS
       but real money is uncountable
           what no
           yipyipyipyipyipyipyip
       Sharky Freshman Committee: would just like to get up and stomp around
       PASSES
       $1 to McGinnis, bitcoin users will chair

   Appun Committee: yip yip
       yipyipyipyipyipyipyip
       how does this committee feel about the Sesame Street Aliens?
           they are welcome in this universe
       MY CABBAGES!
       you're opening pundora's box here
           like, from the movie
           with the blue people
       PASSES
       $2 to Mike, eforney will chair

   Out Of Committees Contingency Plan: we're gonna run out of committees at some point, we need a step by step plan for when that happens
       has that ever stopped us before?
       board games
       are you aware that as a chair you can create subcommittees
           with very little regulation
       schmucks
           really long schmucks
           was that a dick joke
       the obvious solution is to use red matter to open up a portal to another universe so we can use their committee
       puns
           yip
       imagine it, a horrible distopia, youtube parties week after week
           please don't joke
       t h e   c o m m i t t e e   t o   t a l k   r e a l l y   s l o  w l y   r e p o r t s   s u p p o r t   f o r   t h i s   s u g g e s t i o n
       would this other universe have a strong antisecond?
       scientists have informed us that by 2050 there will be no more puns or committees
           you can help
           get a hybrid committee-pun
       get Marlena to wake up
       motion to designate this universe KGB Prime in the interest of multiverse organization
           out of order
       on second thought, let's not go to the universe where committees aren't created
           it's not a very silly place
       PASSES
       $4 to Frieder, the person who creates the last committee ever and he will chair

   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for food for the event contingency plan
       PASSES

   Last Committee This Committee Will Ever Be: to be the last committe this committee will ever be
       change name and purpose to "Second Committee This Committee Will Ever Be: to be the second committee this committee will ever be"
           PASSES
       change name and purpose to "Last Committee This Committee Will Ever Be: to be the first committee this committee will ever be"
           PASSES
       change all instances of "committee" to "giraffe"
           FAILS
       Max Bid Committee: approves
       motion to make this committee a subcommittee of the first subcommittee of the committee
           dilatory
       $1 to McGinnis, he doesn't know who will chair

   Russel's Paradox Committee: to contain all subcommittees which do not contain themselves
       change name to "Russel's Sprouts Committee"
           PASSES
       what if there is a subcommittee, somewhere out there
           you can't prove it
       math joke, physics joke, computer science joke, art joke
           we're done here
       change name to "No Subcommittee Left Behind"
           PASSES
       when do we have to take our 50 standardized tests?
       No Child Left Unblind Committee: hey, I'm relevant!
       oh my god Ethan could get a dog and name it Rage
           so he could unleash Rage
       PASSES
       $3 to Frieder, every dog named Rage will chair

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       KGB Falls On Its Ass
           meet in PH A18A at 8:30
               bring cash
           If weather prevents the event, we'll just be in the PHA18* rooms

   OTHER EVENT
       Geek Eat
           Cheesecake Factory, Wednesday, Dec. 11
           meet at the UC Black Chairs at 4:00pm
           email exec by the start of the event on Friday to RSVP

   Booth!
       meeting on Sunday at 3:00 pm
       mostly art discussion, probably
       most of plot and construction planning has been finished

   there will be a KGB meeting next Monday
       we'll get out early so people can get to finals
       it will be interesting
           Broman promises

SCHMUCKS

   Marlena needs your screams
       no seriously, she needs to record them
       talk to her!

   dkirby is moving
       he needs help to move a dresser and a tv
       they're big
       soon would be good
       talk to him, he'll feed you

we are now in purple