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OFFICER REPORTS
  
((GUYS I FORGOT HOW TO SPELL PURPLE))
 
 
OFFICER REPORTS
 
 
     Broman
 
     Broman
 
         had a weekend
 
         had a weekend
         began w ug tour
+
         it began with the Underground Tour
             went around campus and told things that were true
+
             went around campus and told things that were true, no, really
         on saturday there was some stuff
+
         on Saturday there was some stuff, and then some work, and then some more stuff that night
 
         10 hrs after that had training for community standards boards
 
         10 hrs after that had training for community standards boards
 
             serving on academic review boards
 
             serving on academic review boards
             could potentially be called on to judge the case if people were caught tresspassing places where they don't belong
+
             could potentially be called on to judge cases about people tresspassing where they don't belong
           
+
 
     ccolombo
+
     Caroline
 
         had a weekend
 
         had a weekend
         ug tour
+
         Underground Tour!
 
         then shifting in and out of existance
 
         then shifting in and out of existance
 
         then taking it slow because she came down with a cold
 
         then taking it slow because she came down with a cold
 
         then some work today
 
         then some work today
 
             new people
 
             new people
                 (name, major, origin, unint)
+
                 (name, major, origin, uninteresting fact)
                 rasaundra, mathmatical sci, baltimore, is quiet
+
                 Rasaundra, math, Baltimore, is quiet
                 chris, ece, san fran, wears clothes
+
                 Chris, ECE, San Fransisco, wears clothes
                 kelsey, kingston, PA, writing, also wears clothes
+
                 Kelsey, Kingston PA, writing, also wears clothes
                 shoshana, music psych, cleaveland, plays obo
+
                 Shoshana, BXA Music and Psych, Cleaveland, plays the oboe
                 evans, planning on ece, ca, brown hair
+
                 Evans, ECE, California, brown hair
                 david, mech e, chicago, spent majority of life breathing
+
                 David, Mech E, Chicago, has spent majority of his life breathing
                 miranda, art, roosevelt island in ny, has all fingers and toes
+
                 Miranda, Art, Roosevelt Island NY, has all fingers and toes
                    was building a phoenix
+
 
   
 
 
     JRAM
 
     JRAM
        had
 
        ug tour
 
        other things
 
        maelstrom of hw and disease
 
        EVENT
 
            get board get carded
 
            7 pm friday porter A18
 
            to avoid getting eaten by a drew
 
   
 
    marlena
 
 
         had a weekend
 
         had a weekend
         floor is suspiciously wet
+
         went on the Underground Tour and that was fun
         went on ug tour, wore a top hat, ran into things
+
        did other things that were also fun
         got got in maelstrom of work, not disease
+
        then got caught in the maelstrom of homework and disease
        realized half of work maybe was not necessary
+
        EVENT!
 +
            Get Board Get Carded
 +
                7 pm, Friday, Porter A18*
 +
                go, to avoid getting eaten by a Drew
 +
 
 +
    Marlena
 +
        had a weekend
 +
        the floor is suspiciously wet
 +
         went on the Underground Tour and wore a top hat
 +
            ran into things, because she forgot that top hats give you +1 feet
 +
         got caught in maelstrom of work, though not disease
 +
            realized half of work maybe was not necessary
 
         PRAVDA?!
 
         PRAVDA?!
             bait and switch edition
+
             Bait and Switch edition
             each one is gonna have a theme so you'll submit stuff 'cause you have ideas
+
             each one is gonna have a theme so you'll submit stuff 'cause you have more ideas
 
             next week is Hocus Pocus edition
 
             next week is Hocus Pocus edition
   
+
 
     zora
+
     Zora
 
         had a weekend
 
         had a weekend
         ug tour, sprinted back and forth and yelled and sprinted and then lay down in the grass
+
         went on the Underground Tour, where they sprinted back and forth and yelled and sprinted and then lay down in the grass
         did work but not enough work on saturday and sunday
+
         did work (but not enough work) on Saturday and Sunday
 
             this will be a theme
 
             this will be a theme
   
+
 
     dillon
+
     Dillon
 
         had a weekend
 
         had a weekend
         not the ug tour
+
         Didn't go on the Underground Tour because he went to Penn Apps
        went to penn apps
+
            didn't place top 3 but won lots of secondary awards
        didn't place top 3 but won lots of secondary awards
+
             wrote real time lecture service thing for professors
             real time lecture service thing for professor
 
 
         has lots of work and is sick
 
         has lots of work and is sick
       
+
 
     mike
+
     Mike
 
         had a weekend
 
         had a weekend
 
         got sick
 
         got sick
 
         moped on the comfy couch a lot
 
         moped on the comfy couch a lot
         didn't do work on saturday
+
         didn't do work on Saturday
 
         is still sick
 
         is still sick
  
 
COMMITTEE REPORTS
 
COMMITTEE REPORTS
    ad hoc stalk past pres: Jared got a job offer from google! Sooooo maybe he'll be back?
 
 
      
 
      
     dkirby: also ug'd, was told to speak up...which has NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE
+
     ad hoc Committee to Stalk Past Presidents: Jared got a job offer from google! Sooooo maybe he'll be back?
 +
   
 +
    The Daniel John Kirby is So Full Of Himself Committee: also Underground Tour'd and was told to speak up...which has NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE
 
      
 
      
     ad hoc for cont. tradition she's never heard of: getting baggers, open to confuse a bagger
+
     ad hoc Committee for Continuing Traditions I've Never Heard Of: Skye is getting baggers and is open to confuse a bagger
         confuse a bagger worth telling
+
         Confuse a Bagger is a story we didn't tell on the Underground Tour this year, but it's worth telling
 +
            (because it's hilarious)
 
      
 
      
     ad hoc rats on venetian trade ships: success
+
     ad hoc Rats on Venetian Trade Ships Committee: success
 
      
 
      
     committee to not burn down r7 and a bunch of other shit and the spoeken: sexy dj, etc.
+
     The Committee to Not Burn Down Roselawn 7 and a bunch of other shit and the Spoken Song Lyrics Committee: sexy dj, etc.
 
         Party at R7 on Saturday at 9:00 PM!
 
         Party at R7 on Saturday at 9:00 PM!
 
          
 
          
     ad hoc oh no booth!: tepper building in morewood parking lot?
+
     ad hoc Oh No Booth! Committee: CMU might build a Tepper building in the Morewood parking lot?
 +
        Apparently they might move booth to the Cut
 
      
 
      
     assass committee: fuck you
+
     Assassins Committee: fuck you
 
      
 
      
     pitt exploration: 2 success
+
     The Protracted Exploration of Pittsburgh Committee: 2 counts of success and one count of inferred success
 
      
 
      
     cmu hates grass: booth on cut interesting
+
     possibly ad hoc, possibly misappropriated CMU Hates Grass Committee: Booth on Cut? Interesting...
 
      
 
      
     alcoholist: endorse chocotaco milkshake
+
     Alcoholist Committee: endorses the chocotaco milkshake
 
      
 
      
     derpy crane: derpy crane
+
     Derpy Crane Committee: derpy crane
 
      
 
      
     misap cullinary r&D: failure and tears
+
     misappropriated Cullinary R&D Committee: failure and tears
 
         the mead?
 
         the mead?
       
+
            no, that worked great
    no
 
 
      
 
      
     time travel: glisson for pres
+
     Time Travel Committee: would like to nominate Glisson for President
 
      
 
      
     storytelling committee: CMU is hard.
+
     Storytelling Committee: CMU is hard.
 
         Y'all are smart. Everyone is smart. It's challenging!
 
         Y'all are smart. Everyone is smart. It's challenging!
 
         It's okay to ask for help--everyone here does, and no one will think less of you.
 
         It's okay to ask for help--everyone here does, and no one will think less of you.
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         CMU is hard, feel free to ask for help if you need it.
 
         CMU is hard, feel free to ask for help if you need it.
 
      
 
      
     this will make sense later: soon
+
     ad hoc This Will Make Sense Later Committee: soon
 
      
 
      
     airship piracy: reports
+
     Airship Piracy Committee: reports
 
      
 
      
     marionnette committee: the floor is lava
+
     Marionnette Committee: the floor is lava
 
      
 
      
     floor is lava: success
+
     Floor is Lava Committee: success
   
 
    ad hoc derpy oragami heart: reports
 
 
      
 
      
 +
    ad hoc Derpy Origami Heart Committee: reports
 +
 
OLD BUSINESS
 
OLD BUSINESS
     the thing
+
     the Thing
         getting cold not ccolombo's fault
+
         getting a cold not Caroline's fault
  
 
NEW BUSINESS
 
NEW BUSINESS
   
+
 
     sliding innuendoes: trombones and sacbutts
+
     Sliding Innuendos Committee: trombones and sackbuts
         sacbutts = renn trombones
+
         sackbuts are Renaissance trombones
         charlie brown committee: wowowowowow
+
         Charlie Brown Committee: Wo wahwowah wo wahwowah
             sacbutt
+
             sackbut
         now we know what a sacbutt is
+
         now we know what a sackbut is
         change all sac to snack
+
         change all instances of sack to snack
 
             FAILS
 
             FAILS
         change all sackbutt to bugmars
+
         change all instances of sackbut to bugmars
 
             FAILS
 
             FAILS
         change all butt to buttmars
+
         change all instances of but to butmars
 
             PASSES
 
             PASSES
         change all butt to fanny
+
         change all instances of but to fanny
 
             FAILS
 
             FAILS
 
         lookit dat ass
 
         lookit dat ass
Line 143: Line 142:
 
         PASSES
 
         PASSES
 
         $2 to Drew, tromboners will chair!
 
         $2 to Drew, tromboners will chair!
   
+
        Title and purpose now: Sliding Innuendos Committee: Trombones and Sackbutmars
     684th beating of a dead horse: change name and purpose of committee
+
 
         684 to 685
+
     684th Beating of a Dead Horse: change the names and purposes of committees
             pass
+
         change all instances of 684 to 685
         all word and number ch bugmars
+
             PASSES
             pass
+
         change all words and numbers with bugmars
         dead horse to mostly dead horse
+
             passes, but that doesn't make sense, so no
         685, 686
+
         change "dead horse" to "mostly dead horse"
             pass
+
            that's torture, are you sure (yes)
         horse to donkey
+
            PASSES
             np
+
         change "685" to "686"
         dead to dan
+
             PASSES
             pass
+
         change "horse" to "donkey"
         append w before horse
+
             FAILS
             nope
+
         change "dead" to "dan"
         prepend same
+
             PASSES
 +
         append a "w" before "horse"
 +
             nope, that would actually be prepending
 +
         prepend a "w" before "horse"
 
             dilatory
 
             dilatory
 
         PASSES
 
         PASSES
         $2 to drew, anyone able to incirment
+
         $2 to Drew, anyone able to increment will chair
   
+
        Name and purpose now: "686th Beating of a Mostly Dan Horse Committee: To change the names and purposes of committeees"
     motion to cremate the grandmother committee: everyone messes up
+
 
 +
     Motion to Cremate the Grandmother Committee: everyone messes up with their speech sometimes
 
         change purpose to freudian slips
 
         change purpose to freudian slips
         monty python committee: I'm not dead yet
+
            PASSES
         ad hoc committee with guy pushing cart: well you will be, and he's not coming around again til next tues
+
         Monty Python Committee: I'm not dead yet
         $1 to mcginnis, anyone who's ever sold a grandma
+
         ad hoc Committee with the Guy Pushing the Cart: well you will be, and he's not coming around again 'til next tuesday.
       
+
         $1 to Mcginnis, anyone who's ever sold a grandma will chair
     snipe your high five: hey rglenn high five
+
 
         the fistbump r&d committee approves
+
     Committe to Snipe Your High Five: hey rglenn high five
 +
         the Fistbump R&D Committee approves
 
         change action in purpose to hair smoothing
 
         change action in purpose to hair smoothing
 
             FAILS
 
             FAILS
         touch eforney's hand
+
         motion to touch eforney's hand
             that's how we all get disease
+
             and that's how we all get disease
         ad hoc drew's driving: guyssss I'm trying to drive
+
         ad hoc Drew's Driving Committee: guyssss I'm trying to drive
 
             sorry
 
             sorry
 
         PASSES
 
         PASSES
         $3 to Marlena, whoever sniped the last high five
+
         $3 to Marlena, whoever sniped the last high five will chair
   
+
 
     committee to det. what woodland creatures utter: to discover ~what the fuck's sake~
+
     Committee to Determine What Woodland Creatures Utter: to discover ~what the fuck's sake~
 
         what kind of elephant says toot?
 
         what kind of elephant says toot?
         idk what happened here watch the video
+
         ((I don't know what happened here, google the video or something))
 
         tortellini
 
         tortellini
         ad hoc my family does things that I do: Marlena's sent this to her entire family, including her grandmother, which is not her cup of tea, apparently
+
         ad hoc My Family Does Things That I Do and It's Kind Of Weird Committee: Marlena's aunt sent this to her entire family, including her grandmother, which is not her grandmother's cup of tea, apparently
 
         the fox obviously communicates in or, or, or, or, ors
 
         the fox obviously communicates in or, or, or, or, ors
         ad hoc committee to dedisnify the fox and the hound approves
+
         ad hoc Committee to Dedisnify the Fox and the Hound approves
 
         PASSES
 
         PASSES
         $2 to drew (twoingliss), eforney chairs
+
         $2 to drew (twoingliss), eforney will chair
   
+
 
     plague hats committee: [gave a hat] and also warn people about the horrors of head lice
+
     Plague Hats Committee: [give a hat] and also warn people about the horrors of head lice
 
         lookin' at you JRAM
 
         lookin' at you JRAM
         change to brain slug committee:
+
         change to name to "brain slug committee":
 
             FAILS
 
             FAILS
         change head lice to dread lice
+
         change all instances of "head lice" to "dread lice"
 
             PASSES
 
             PASSES
         change dread lice to dreads lice
+
         change instances of "dread lice" to "dreads lice"
 
             FAILS
 
             FAILS
         change dread to judge dread
+
         change instances of "dread" to "judge dread"
 
             FAILS
 
             FAILS
         change hat to headwear in purpose:
+
         change all instances of "hat" to "headwear" in purpose:
 
             PASSES
 
             PASSES
 
         you get a hat if you buy the committee
 
         you get a hat if you buy the committee
 
         PASSES
 
         PASSES
         $5 to Maija, people who are wearing a hat or have had headlice due to kgb in the past
+
         $5 to Maija, people who are wearing a hat or have had headlice due to to the KGB's actions in the past will chair
   
+
 
     thoughtful kgb: only pass committees we think are worth buying and not just listen to our facist dictator and do the  
+
     Thoughtful KGB Committee: only pass committees we think are worth buying and not just listen to our facist dictator and do the first thing he says
         change purpose to do what our dictator says
+
         change purpose to "do what our dictator says"
             fail
+
             FAILS
         change all to tim broman
+
         change all words in the name and purpose to "Tim Broman"
             pass
+
             PASSES
         motion to instate xander as dictator
+
         motion to instate Xander as dictator
 
             dilatory
 
             dilatory
             broman has armies
+
             broman has the armies
         sliding innuendoes: hee hee dictator
+
         Sliding Innuendos Committee: hee hee dictator
         change tim to timmy
+
         change all instances of "Tim" to "Timmy"
 
             dilatory
 
             dilatory
         change bro to brobro
+
         change all instances of "Bro" to "Brobro"
 
             dilatory
 
             dilatory
         change broman to bromance
+
         change all instances of "Broman" to "Bromance"
 
             dilatory
 
             dilatory
         change broman to turner
+
         change all instances of "Broman" to "Turner"
 
             FAILS
 
             FAILS
         change all broman to brotherman
+
         change all instances of "Broman" to "Brotherman"
 
             PASSES
 
             PASSES
         brotherman to nananananananana FRATMAN
+
         change all instances of "Brotherman" to "nananananananana nananananananana FRATMAN"
             passes?
+
             PASSES
         change all man to manman
+
         change all instances of "man" to "manman"
 
             no
 
             no
         change all man to man or woman
+
         change all instances of "man" to "man or woman"
             passes
+
             PASSES
 
         change all tim to the tim
 
         change all tim to the tim
             passes
+
             PASSES
 
         include middle name (robert)
 
         include middle name (robert)
             passes
+
             PASSES
 
         change all robert to bobert
 
         change all robert to bobert
             passes
+
             PASSES
   
+
        ((what even happened to this one, I have no idea.))
     we did it!: proclaim we did it when we do anything reletively mundane and easy tasks
+
 
         change we did it to bow before me peasants
+
     We Did It! Committee: proclaim "We did it!" when we do any reletively mundane and easy tasks
             passes
+
         change all instances of "We did it!" to "BOW BEFORE ME, PEASANTS."
         change all me to us
+
             PASSES
             passes
+
         change all instances of "me" to "us"
         change to make a cheese pizza: make a cheeze pizza:
+
             PASSES
        dilatory
+
         change name and purpose to "Make a Cheese Pizza Committee: make a cheeze pizza"
         change peasant to pheasant:
+
            dilatory
             passes
+
         change all instances of "peasant" to "pheasant":
         change all bow to bow:
+
             PASSES
             passes
+
         change all instances of "bow" (/baʊ/) to "bow" (/boʊ/):
         change all pheasant to presence
+
             PASSES
             fails
+
         change all instances of "pheasant" to "presence"
         change all bow before me pheasants to kneel before zod
+
             FAILS
         change to youthful something committee: I have no idea what I'm doing or what I've done
+
         change all instances of "BOW BEFORE ME, PHEASANTS." to "KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!"
         append kelly's memory to purpose
+
            PASSES
         chagnge purpose because dan thinks everything's friendly
+
         change name and purpose to the "Youthful Amnesia Committee: I have no idea what I'm doing or what I've done"
         overly friendly committee: success
+
            PASSES
 +
         append Kelly's memory to purpose so she can remember what's going on
 +
            PASSES
 +
         motion to change the purpose because dan thinks everything's friendly
 +
            PASSES
 +
         Overly Friendly Committee: success
 
         PASSES
 
         PASSES
 
         $2 to dkirby, everyone friendly will chair
 
         $2 to dkirby, everyone friendly will chair
   
+
        Name and purpose now: "Youthful Amnesia Committee: Y'all gave me permission to change the purpose soooooooo sackbut"
     this will make sense later: to have been reported the day it will be created later
+
 
         you took too long, now youre committee's gone
+
     This Will Make Sense Later Committee: to have been reported the day it will be created later
         time police: you've been charged a fine of 3 years
+
         you took too long, now youre committee's gone
 +
         Time Police Committee: you've been charged a fine of 3 years
 
         $3 to afrieder, everyone will chair
 
         $3 to afrieder, everyone will chair
   
+
 
announcements
+
ANNOUNCEMENTS
 +
 
 
     EVENT!
 
     EVENT!
         get board get carded
+
         Get Board Get Carded
         friday 7:00 porter A18*
+
         Friday at 7:00 PM in Porter A18*
         bring board games bring card games bring drew
+
         bring board games, bring card games, bring drew
   
+
 
 
     pay your dues!
 
     pay your dues!
 
         $15 for semester, $20 for year
 
         $15 for semester, $20 for year
         you get voting on important stuff and discounts on tshirts
+
         you get voting rights on important stuff and discounts on tshirts
 +
 
 +
SCHMUCKS
 +
    sackbut
  
schmucks
 
    sacbutt
 
   
 
 
     tortellini
 
     tortellini
   
 
    we are now in purpule
 
   
 
    R7 party
 
        sat at 9:00
 
        over there by the hill
 
   
 
    frisbee on friday before event??
 
   
 
    Dan is thinking of doing a thing with borg episodes of star trek
 
   
 
    come to the hole in the vacant lot behind the ralph's
 
   
 
    pick up your paper
 
  
purpule and get food
+
    we are now in purple
 +
 
 +
    R7 party!
 +
        Saturday at 9:00 PM at Roselawn 7
 +
        over there by the Hill
 +
 
 +
    frisbee on Friday before event??
 +
 
 +
    Dan is thinking of doing a thing with the Borg episodes of Star Trek
 +
        Like the Klingon thing he did last year
 +
        where they watched a bunch of episodes and then the movie
 +
 
 +
    Come to the hole in the vacant lot behind the Ralph's
 +
        etc
 +
        ((I think the translation is that Xander wants you to listen to Nightvale))
 +
        ((Or he's found a Ralph's somewhere in Pittsburgh that he likes to hang out at and he's lonely))
 +
        ((Either way it's probably in your best interest to avoid the potentially imaginary Ralph's))
 +
 
 +
    pick up your paper!
 +
 
 +
purple and get food

Revision as of 21:38, 9 September 2013

OFFICER REPORTS

   Broman
       had a weekend
       it began with the Underground Tour
           went around campus and told things that were true, no, really
       on Saturday there was some stuff, and then some work, and then some more stuff that night
       10 hrs after that had training for community standards boards
           serving on academic review boards
           could potentially be called on to judge cases about people tresspassing where they don't belong
   Caroline
       had a weekend
       Underground Tour!
       then shifting in and out of existance
       then taking it slow because she came down with a cold
       then some work today
           new people
               (name, major, origin, uninteresting fact)
               Rasaundra, math, Baltimore, is quiet
               Chris, ECE, San Fransisco, wears clothes
               Kelsey, Kingston PA, writing, also wears clothes
               Shoshana, BXA Music and Psych, Cleaveland, plays the oboe
               Evans, ECE, California, brown hair
               David, Mech E, Chicago, has spent majority of his life breathing
               Miranda, Art, Roosevelt Island NY, has all fingers and toes
   JRAM
       had a weekend
       went on the Underground Tour and that was fun
       did other things that were also fun
       then got caught in the maelstrom of homework and disease
       EVENT!
           Get Board Get Carded
               7 pm, Friday, Porter A18*
               go, to avoid getting eaten by a Drew
   Marlena
       had a weekend
       the floor is suspiciously wet
       went on the Underground Tour and wore a top hat
           ran into things, because she forgot that top hats give you +1 feet
       got caught in maelstrom of work, though not disease
           realized half of work maybe was not necessary
       PRAVDA?!
           Bait and Switch edition
           each one is gonna have a theme so you'll submit stuff 'cause you have more ideas
           next week is Hocus Pocus edition
   Zora
       had a weekend
       went on the Underground Tour, where they sprinted back and forth and yelled and sprinted and then lay down in the grass
       did work (but not enough work) on Saturday and Sunday
           this will be a theme
   Dillon
       had a weekend
       Didn't go on the Underground Tour because he went to Penn Apps
           didn't place top 3 but won lots of secondary awards
           wrote real time lecture service thing for professors
       has lots of work and is sick
   Mike
       had a weekend
       got sick
       moped on the comfy couch a lot
       didn't do work on Saturday
       is still sick

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   ad hoc Committee to Stalk Past Presidents: Jared got a job offer from google! Sooooo maybe he'll be back?
   
   The Daniel John Kirby is So Full Of Himself Committee: also Underground Tour'd and was told to speak up...which has NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE
   
   ad hoc Committee for Continuing Traditions I've Never Heard Of: Skye is getting baggers and is open to confuse a bagger
       Confuse a Bagger is a story we didn't tell on the Underground Tour this year, but it's worth telling
           (because it's hilarious)
   
   ad hoc Rats on Venetian Trade Ships Committee: success
   
   The Committee to Not Burn Down Roselawn 7 and a bunch of other shit and the Spoken Song Lyrics Committee: sexy dj, etc.
       Party at R7 on Saturday at 9:00 PM!
       
   ad hoc Oh No Booth! Committee: CMU might build a Tepper building in the Morewood parking lot?
       Apparently they might move booth to the Cut
   
   Assassins Committee: fuck you
   
   The Protracted Exploration of Pittsburgh Committee: 2 counts of success and one count of inferred success
   
   possibly ad hoc, possibly misappropriated CMU Hates Grass Committee: Booth on Cut? Interesting...
   
   Alcoholist Committee: endorses the chocotaco milkshake
   
   Derpy Crane Committee: derpy crane
   
   misappropriated Cullinary R&D Committee: failure and tears
       the mead?
           no, that worked great
   
   Time Travel Committee: would like to nominate Glisson for President
   
   Storytelling Committee: CMU is hard.
       Y'all are smart. Everyone is smart. It's challenging!
       It's okay to ask for help--everyone here does, and no one will think less of you.
       There are lots of resources! Including us!
       Talk to us, we're friendly.
       CMU is hard, feel free to ask for help if you need it.
   
   ad hoc This Will Make Sense Later Committee: soon
   
   Airship Piracy Committee: reports
   
   Marionnette Committee: the floor is lava
   
   Floor is Lava Committee: success
   
   ad hoc Derpy Origami Heart Committee: reports

OLD BUSINESS

   the Thing
       getting a cold not Caroline's fault

NEW BUSINESS

   Sliding Innuendos Committee: trombones and sackbuts
       sackbuts are Renaissance trombones
       Charlie Brown Committee: Wo wahwowah wo wahwowah
           sackbut
       now we know what a sackbut is
       change all instances of sack to snack
           FAILS
       change all instances of sackbut to bugmars
           FAILS
       change all instances of but to butmars
           PASSES
       change all instances of but to fanny
           FAILS
       lookit dat ass
       hats n kitties, hats hats n kitties
       PASSES
       $2 to Drew, tromboners will chair!
       Title and purpose now: Sliding Innuendos Committee: Trombones and Sackbutmars
   684th Beating of a Dead Horse: change the names and purposes of committees
       change all instances of 684 to 685
           PASSES
       change all words and numbers with bugmars
           passes, but that doesn't make sense, so no
       change "dead horse" to "mostly dead horse"
           that's torture, are you sure (yes)
           PASSES
       change "685" to "686"
           PASSES
       change "horse" to "donkey"
           FAILS
       change "dead" to "dan"
           PASSES
       append a "w" before "horse"
           nope, that would actually be prepending
       prepend a "w" before "horse"
           dilatory
       PASSES
       $2 to Drew, anyone able to increment will chair
       Name and purpose now: "686th Beating of a Mostly Dan Horse Committee: To change the names and purposes of committeees"
   Motion to Cremate the Grandmother Committee: everyone messes up with their speech sometimes
       change purpose to freudian slips
           PASSES
       Monty Python Committee: I'm not dead yet
       ad hoc Committee with the Guy Pushing the Cart: well you will be, and he's not coming around again 'til next tuesday.
       $1 to Mcginnis, anyone who's ever sold a grandma will chair
   Committe to Snipe Your High Five: hey rglenn high five
       the Fistbump R&D Committee approves
       change action in purpose to hair smoothing
           FAILS
       motion to touch eforney's hand
           and that's how we all get disease
       ad hoc Drew's Driving Committee: guyssss I'm trying to drive
           sorry
       PASSES
       $3 to Marlena, whoever sniped the last high five will chair
   Committee to Determine What Woodland Creatures Utter: to discover ~what the fuck's sake~
       what kind of elephant says toot?
       ((I don't know what happened here, google the video or something))
       tortellini
       ad hoc My Family Does Things That I Do and It's Kind Of Weird Committee: Marlena's aunt sent this to her entire family, including her grandmother, which is not her grandmother's cup of tea, apparently
       the fox obviously communicates in or, or, or, or, ors
       ad hoc Committee to Dedisnify the Fox and the Hound approves
       PASSES
       $2 to drew (twoingliss), eforney will chair
   Plague Hats Committee: [give a hat] and also warn people about the horrors of head lice
       lookin' at you JRAM
       change to name to "brain slug committee":
           FAILS
       change all instances of "head lice" to "dread lice"
           PASSES
       change instances of "dread lice" to "dreads lice"
           FAILS
       change instances of "dread" to "judge dread"
           FAILS
       change all instances of "hat" to "headwear" in purpose:
           PASSES
       you get a hat if you buy the committee
       PASSES
       $5 to Maija, people who are wearing a hat or have had headlice due to to the KGB's actions in the past will chair
   Thoughtful KGB Committee: only pass committees we think are worth buying and not just listen to our facist dictator and do the first thing he says
       change purpose to "do what our dictator says"
           FAILS
       change all words in the name and purpose to "Tim Broman"
           PASSES
       motion to instate Xander as dictator
           dilatory
           broman has the armies
       Sliding Innuendos Committee: hee hee dictator
       change all instances of "Tim" to "Timmy"
           dilatory
       change all instances of "Bro" to "Brobro"
           dilatory
       change all instances of "Broman" to "Bromance"
           dilatory
       change all instances of "Broman" to "Turner"
           FAILS
       change all instances of "Broman" to "Brotherman"
           PASSES
       change all instances of "Brotherman" to "nananananananana nananananananana FRATMAN"
           PASSES
       change all instances of "man" to "manman"
           no
       change all instances of "man" to "man or woman"
           PASSES
       change all tim to the tim
           PASSES
       include middle name (robert)
           PASSES
       change all robert to bobert
           PASSES
       ((what even happened to this one, I have no idea.))
   We Did It! Committee: proclaim "We did it!" when we do any reletively mundane and easy tasks
       change all instances of "We did it!" to "BOW BEFORE ME, PEASANTS."
           PASSES
       change all instances of "me" to "us"
           PASSES
       change name and purpose to "Make a Cheese Pizza Committee: make a cheeze pizza"
           dilatory
       change all instances of "peasant" to "pheasant":
           PASSES
       change all instances of "bow" (/baʊ/) to "bow" (/boʊ/):
           PASSES
       change all instances of "pheasant" to "presence"
           FAILS
       change all instances of "BOW BEFORE ME, PHEASANTS." to "KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!"
           PASSES
       change name and purpose to the "Youthful Amnesia Committee: I have no idea what I'm doing or what I've done"
           PASSES
       append Kelly's memory to purpose so she can remember what's going on
           PASSES
       motion to change the purpose because dan thinks everything's friendly
           PASSES
       Overly Friendly Committee: success
       PASSES
       $2 to dkirby, everyone friendly will chair
       Name and purpose now: "Youthful Amnesia Committee: Y'all gave me permission to change the purpose soooooooo sackbut"
   This Will Make Sense Later Committee: to have been reported the day it will be created later
       you took too long, now youre committee's gone
       Time Police Committee: you've been charged a fine of 3 years
       $3 to afrieder, everyone will chair

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT!
       Get Board Get Carded
       Friday at 7:00 PM in Porter A18*
       bring board games, bring card games, bring drew
   pay your dues!
       $15 for semester, $20 for year
       you get voting rights on important stuff and discounts on tshirts

SCHMUCKS

   sackbut
   tortellini
   we are now in purple
   R7 party!
       Saturday at 9:00 PM at Roselawn 7
       over there by the Hill
   frisbee on Friday before event??
   Dan is thinking of doing a thing with the Borg episodes of Star Trek
       Like the Klingon thing he did last year
       where they watched a bunch of episodes and then the movie
   Come to the hole in the vacant lot behind the Ralph's
       etc
       ((I think the translation is that Xander wants you to listen to Nightvale))
       ((Or he's found a Ralph's somewhere in Pittsburgh that he likes to hang out at and he's lonely))
       ((Either way it's probably in your best interest to avoid the potentially imaginary Ralph's))
   pick up your paper!

purple and get food