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OFFICER REPORTS

   Broman
       Had a weekend
       event for three minutes before puzzlehunt planning
           but not entirely because there were more mistakes
       then puzzlehunt
           there were mistakes
           it went okay
       did work eventually on sunday
       decided not to sleep
           watched highlights of football on the internet
   Caroline
       had a week
       started with a hat that did nothing to her
       still only in the double digits of job applications sent out this week
       has a group project and everyone is chill and awesome
           doesn't know what karmic reprecussions will happen
   JRAM
       had a weekend
       started with sliver of the event
       then lots of puzzlehunt being broken
           then being fine
       has been playing dota with friends instead of work
       event
           video game night
           wean 5300
           friday at 7:00
           we'll post a thing for people to sign up to bring things
           
   Marlena
       had a weekend
       involved being possessed by a deceased soviet officer
       after that work maybe got done
       PRAVDA!
       
   Zora
       
   Dillon
       had a weekend
       planning puzzlehunt
       planning runaround for hunt during hunt
       went rather well
       then did lots and lots of work on sunday
   
   Mike
       had a weekend
       friend visited
       soviet possession didn't really know how to drive a car
       didn't notice the puzzlehunt problems
       tried to do work on sunday but comics instead
       

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   ccolombo is an anti aircraft tank: it's not a challenge. it's not
   
   ad hoc lie on the floor try not to cry cry a lot: the puzzlehunt was a field of broken dreams
   
   innovative tech: this is actually a tech talk, they lied about KGB
       sign your name on a blank piece of paper for the Adventure Initiative
   
   illust journalist: various ghosts, spirits, whites, and revenants have appeared for an annual haunting of Tad McDaniels
       who allegedly murdered someone once
   
   ad hoc I would have gotten away with it
   
   scp: any ghosty things can be returned to scp for a reward
   
   dkirby scared stupid: got dead space
   
   booth: planning in porter a18a on sunday at 3 for the rest of the semester
   
   innovative tech
       will not accept brides as bribes
       there's a typo
   
   guid of calam intent: calling evil seafood a buynch of little bitches
   
   evil seafood: what i'm sorry we can't hear you over the sound of your families screaming
   
   ad hoc what is this: i don't even
   
   eforney is pretty: pintrest
   
   50 shades of xander: electric bill came back with refund for 12 dollars
       nobody complained, they cyborg 

OLD BUSINESS

   The Thing!
       too many freshmen going home is not skyes fault

NEW BUSINESS

   captain vulcanov: zis is not games, zis is training exercises
       ad hoc twister chess: many butts
       ad hoc words: success
       PASSES
       $10 to Marlena, she and anyoen else who will wear the hat
   
   dkirby scared stupid: to report on any scary games that he will play
       isn't it made redundant by the existance of dan?
       change title to scared by stupid: to report onterrible horror movies
           FAILS
       change purpose to shit dan does:
           already exists
       committ discussion to dkirby is so full of himself to make it a subcommittee
           PASSES
   
   kgbutts committe: put all of kbg butts above kgb heads
       so twister chess
       change name to semore butts
           no
       isn't this committee a little cheeky
       ad hoc kgb gymnastics: success
       motion ot append cloud
       mis ap spoken song lyrics: lookit dat butt x3
       touchin' butts: doesn't say anythign
       change name to kgands
           fails
       PASSES
       $7 to stuart, anyone with a butt will chair
       
   outdated memes: hail englip
       JACK'S VAN JACK'S VAN
       why aren't you buying more tangerines
       this this this this this this this this this this this this this this
       by the power of grayskull
       tortellini
       epic fail
       epic win
       lol
       invisible bicycle
       dancing baby gif
       supersonic limpo: pew pew pew
       yuma yuma
       omg shoes
       the bubonic plague
       stahp
       dillon would like to welcome the kgb to the internet
       charlie bit my finger
       THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE
       xander votes no on everything
       FAILS
   
   twister chess league: oversee all games of twister chess and ensure that they're all unsafe and unproductive
       change name to strip twister chess committee
           not yet friendly
       kgbutts approves of both
       isn't this a committee a duplicate of the kgbutts committee
       mis ap spoken song lyrics: .....
       ad hoc recursion: approval
       make committee the set of all committees that don't contain themselves
       dillontory: dillon!
       $4 to zeph, dillon will chair
   
   ill spirit and bitter: bid on committees so that people will have to pay more
       mis ap alcoholist committee: would like to know how this committee feels about bitters
       this is what drew does already
       report from treasurer: yessssssss
       PASSES
       $14 to Drew, he will chair
   
   the committee of the real meaning of columbus day: spread spirit of columbus day by invading everyone's yards and spreading new diseases
       Caroline thought that the true spirit was for cmu students to complain about how everyone got the day off
       no you're all wrong take credit for things that other people have done first
       no you're all wrong the real purpose is to kick people out of their homes
       you're all just wrong
       wait but isn't it just a holiday where we watch Colombo
       oh god why committee: you should not do these things around xander
       no you're all wrong take credit for things that other people have done first
       PASSES
       $3 to mcginnis, disbanded
   
   flat earth: if the earth was round then we'll all just roll off it
       actually with a sufficiently large sphere and the right axis you can get it to rock in stable motion forever
       ptolemy was right, motion to append geotension
           nope
       motion to declare universe as flat
           out of order
       don't worry earth, one day you'll hit puberty
       mis ap don't worry it's for science: we sent some one to investigate. Don't worry, it's for science
       append turtles all the way down
       conspiracy theory: if the earth is flat then how did we fake the moon landing
       max bid committee: approves
       guild of calam: if the earth is so flat, then how did we take over your govt?
       PASSES
       $2 to drew, disbanded
   
   no
       just no
   $29 to drew, no one will chair because it DOESN'T EXIST
   
   dillon's weight in gold: to procure enough gold to replace dillon as treasurer
       replace water in r7 with lard
       glasses of water can be purchased at the moon for $10 a pop
       will this golden dillon still be a pokemon?
           yes, shiny
       change kgb to gold standard
           no
       JRAM: diet tip: if you eat multiple things from the same animal then only the first thing counts
       Caroline: waffle are shaped like 0s so they have 0 calories
       change committee to make dillon fat
           PASSES
       don't worry it's for science: jram and caroline's statements true
       inov tech: gold machine turns you bald
       dillontory: many counts of noooooo
       point of order: we need $2.6 million
       PASSES
       $10 to McGinnis, anyone who might have the treasurers will chair
   
   allocation not to exceed $50 for the event
   
   crazy horse: do any experiment possible for the kgb
       change name to crazy train
           passes
       kgb mashup: trains just iron horses
       we're goin' off the reins on a crazy horse
       spaghetti
       PASSES
       $11 to Zeph, mike will chair
       
   kgbrains: we're more than our kgbutts and [REDACTED]
       kgb zombies approve greatly
       all we want to do is want your brains, we're not unreasonable
           I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes
       append to purpose particle physics
           PASSES
       mis ap skeptics: there is nothing to support string theory
       change name to kgboner
           FAILS
       change name to kgbiceps
           FAILS
       change name to kgb rains
           FAILS
       PASSES
       $25 to drew, people who appreciate brains
       

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       videogame night
       friday at 7 in Wean 5300 corridor
       sign up in the google doc to bring things
   
   Sweatshirts!
       we're gonna post a facebook thing, fill it out
   
   CtFwS is in 11 days!
       Judges meeting at some point
       if you want to judge send exec an email
           required that you've played before
   
   Boooooooth
       planning meeting
       porter a18a, 3:00 on Sunday
       
   pre-ctfws
       we're gonna take and hold the fence next week
       also doing fun and interesting things! like handing out candy and ribbons
       we need people to sign up!
           googledoc on the internet

SCHMUCKS

   round of applause for drew for funding kgb
   
   new episodes of doctor who uncovered
       mcginnis has enemy of the world
       he'll stream it at some point
   
   it's been recently uncovered that episodes of 3rd rock--DAMMIT THOMAS GET OUT OF MY HEAD
   
   illust journalists gonna start planning and doing things this midsemester break
       message xander on facebook
   
   innovative tech is recruiting out the door