Minutes20142701

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OFFICER REPORTS

   Broman
       Had a weekend
       kgb does not accept late work
       
   James
       had a weekend
       promised he'd get his work done on saturday
           by hte end of the day had beaten ac4
       set the tone for the rest of the weekend
       new people
           J, physics (currently) maybe CS, philly area, usually wears almost always black
   
   JRAM
       had a weekend
       fair amount of work and grading
       saw the pixies
       EVENT
           UPA
           friday, 7:00, MMA14
           auction yourself off for 6 hrs or bid on people
           please send us blurbs! exec@cmukgb.org
               maybe also send them to jrettere@andrew.cmu.edu
           useful things:
               DMing, car, can computer, making things, drawing things, public performance, have limbs, not have limbs
               lots of other things
   
   Marlena
       had a weekend
       went to ETC on Friday
           didn't move from that building for over 48 hours
           it was really fun and ended up kind of pretty!
           got maybe 10 hours of sleep
   
   Zora
       had a weekend
       Boothed! Successfully!
       Also cut off all Mike's hair
   
   Dillon
       had a weekend
       sat down with all his books
           watched the first three seasons of archer
   
   Mike
       had a weekend
       got violently ill on friday after booth
       saturday happened, sort of
       no longer has hair
           it's cold
           their hat is missing
       did all their other homework on sunday, instead of the lab report

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   committee to teach you al sign language
       winter and very cold are the same
   
   real actual otp
       self awareness x tumblrs privacy policy
   
   illust journalists
       a guy died
       someone was arrested
       policework is a waste of time
       someone hates their kid
       that was nice
   
   unillust journalists
       a guy walked into a store, bought somehting, and left
   
   shit i read in the tartan
       excessive noise from partying in the piano room
       exotic dancers had been hired
   
   ad hoc supply and demand
       if you're the only person with a sleeping bag at a hackathon people are jealous
   
   kgb marrionette
       the recsec is immune suckers
   
   war on christmas
       332 days until it can report again
   
   skyentology
       "if you're cold, wear more clothes" --someone in florida
   
   ad hoc broetry and storytelling committee
       "The Broad Not Taken (at least, not the way I would have liked)" Brobert Frost and eforney
       this poem is DIRTY
       
   ad hoc imagination
       MY EYES
   
   ad hoc help i'm trapped under a table
       that
   
   ad hoc ubiquitous poster
       you're not here because you fart
   
   real actual otp
       request report from illustjournalist in conj with inap and accurate musical acompanyment
       xander bagpipe solo
   
   real actual otp
       request report from calam and seafood
       ...xander bagpipe solo
       and the guild of calam would like to report
           different solo
       
   ad hoc reccomended tumblr
       peoplescanningqrcodes exists and contains no posts
   
   innov tech
       open apps for summer internsips
           wants an intern to stand next the xerox machine
           there's someone watching us, we need an intern to watch them back
           also coffee. sleep's not allowed
   
   ad hoc skye needs a job
   
   scp
       needs interns to fill in class d personality list
       so are you saying you want the d
   
   ad hoc natures most horrendous outputs
       fish called sarcastic fringe head
           it's scary
           its mouth looks like it's got a vagina
   
   ad hoc sarcastic fringe head
       sure that sounds like a great fish
   
   ad hoc aww
       awwwwwwww
   
   dkirby is so full of himself
       can get two free bottles of coke
       
   illust journalist
       nightvale is having a live show on the 26th of march
       apparently it's 21 and up????

OLD BUSINESS

   the Thing!
       you pansies not handling the cold is not carolines fault
           but her not being able to handle the cold is her fault

NEW BUSINESS

   if i can't see you you can't see me: if you close your eyes the cold can't see you
       the cold is more afraid of you than you are of it
       maija made an obscure joke
       innov tech: the weather machine's not broken. we swear
       skyentology: yes it is
       but what will happen on the day AFTER tomorrow
       the operator of the weather machine is an alcoholic and he's doing the BEST HE CAN
       winter is coming: tonight will be much worse
       bike collective: fuck
       puzzlehunt: but we fixed it!
       skyentology: there are some things going on in the sky(e) that just can't be fixed
       don't comb thin hair when it's icy
       xander grew beardcicles
       dkirby is so full of himself: both of those things happened to him
       PASSES
       $2 to frieder, jram and frieder
   
   adam liebowitz memorial dad joke: dad jokes
       you know why there weren't color photos before the 50s or 60s?
           that's because there WASN'T COLOR
       hi dad can we talk?
           yes son
           dad I'm gay
           hi gay I'm dad
       crimean war was the first war on crime
       every time i turn on the tv they say you're watching channel 7, how do they know?
       guys this is the DAD jokes committee not the BAD jokes committee
       change dad to bad
           fails
       ad hoc stupid history: approves
       eforney's dad's favorite show is the deadliest catch (dadliest catch)
       as xander's allfather used to tell him
           SON YOU ARE A STRANGE SMALL FISH
       that's cute and no
       if i ever get a dog I'm gonna call it leroy brown so when it poops on the carpet I can say "bad Leroy Brown, Bad"
       bubbles says "I am the dadliest catch"
       PASSES
       $5 to mcginnis, anyone who is amused by dad jokes
   well I'm not a ____ committee: to add a disclaimer to the start of something
       i'm nto a plumber but if your boyfriend has syphillis you should get checked out
       dammit jim i'm a doctor not a ____
       i'm not a racist but statistically white collar crime is perpitrated by one race
       dammit jim I'm not a doctor well I am a doctor but not the kind that helps people
       change ____ to "racist butt"
           passes
       I'm not an amnesiac but
       I'm not a web developer but I really want to see my dog on the front page and it's like he's speaking to you
       i'm not your dad but look into your heart and you know it to be true
       PASSES
       $8 to maija, anyone who isn't a ____ butt
   
   experimental cryofashion: that's an ice outfit you're wearing
       the cold never bothered me anyway
       sometimes awesome things are real: ice 9 is an actual thing
       it you're wearing jeans that are too long, they'll snap off when they freeze
           maija suggests leggings and skirts
       throw liquid nitrogen at fire
           and also the liquid oxygen condensation
       the floor water is too hard to drink
       newly dead scientist: success
       ad hoc kind of girl who doesn't own leggings: what?
       ad hoc kind of guy who doesn't own jeans: what
       PASSES
       $3 to mike, james and anyone else's hair who freezes
   
   calling out references: this is a reference to a comment that broman made earlier in a kgb meeting
       the first rule of tautology club is the first rule of tautology club
           xkcd reference
       $5 to drew, anyone who can successfully call out references
   
   motion to change all mentions of 3 in auctions to thrieder
       dilatory
   
   motion to create a standing rule that thrieder will mean 3 in auctions
       IT'S A GOOD IDEA
       PASSES
   
   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for food for the event
       PASSES
   
   i don't wuite remember the lyrics: to start singing the song, forget some of the lyrics but keep going on anyway because you're pretty good at meter
       welcome to the jungle, we've got fun and games, we're running out of fun and we're running out of games
       CRAZY TRAIN
       STREETLIGHTS, STREETLIGHTS, SOMEWHERE IN STREETLIGHTSSSSSSS
       misap misheard song lyrics: approves
       multilinguist committee: aaaaaaa maybe the grammar's wrong
       trust me i'm an engineer, I know what this thing's doing here, wait no
       PASSES
       $4 to drew, everyone who shows up at the next karaoke night
   
   kgb should never sing again in meetings: yeah pretty much that
       kgb rocks the 80s is missing its keyboard
       could you repeat that in song would like to request the purpose again
           no
       PASSES
       $4 to drew, disbanded
   
   dgr committee: make making it interesting more interesting
       dgr means different things depending on the event
           dept of gambling ???
           dept of good resumes
           dept of gold records
       PASSES
       $6 to james, he and anyone who doesn't have a huge debt of comrade points
   
   keep those artists in line: tread the fine line between getting artists to collaborate and realizing that artists have FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION
       so there drew was, watching porn in cluster
           because it's art
       so there eforney was, animating porn in cluster
       booth chairs: AAAAAAAAAA
       so there jram was, making elaborate wood carvings of porn in cluster
       so there maija was, writing porn in cluster
       so there was kgb, making a porno in cluster
       so there eforney was, participating in porn out of kesden's reach in cluster
       PASSES
       $3 to marlena, anyone who's had direction of artists
   
   dirty disney: frozen
       you can't marry a man you just met
       frozen is actually pretty decent, but it's not the best disney movie
           maybe you should go see it
       passes
       $2 to drew, everyone who's seen frozen will chair

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       UPA
       friday maggie mo A14, 7:00
       dress classy if you want
   
   booth
       meetings are starting!
   
   sweatshirts
       talk to dillon after the meeting

SCHMUCKS

   puzzlehunt cmu
       march 2nd
       teams of 5
       it's zombie themed
    
   game creation society
       there's an event! starting on projects this semsester
       go to gamecreation.org
   
   frieder has never lost a puzzlehunt
   
   sigbovik is on april 1st
       google it
       it's named after harry q bovik, who was registered at cmu for YEARS
   
   remember that thing that xander said about nightvale
       yeah reminding you of that
   

we are now in purple