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David Klionsky: The object of our prayers and the source of our salvation. In the river of wisdom, David is the mouth. David is known by many names in many cultures, among them G.O.D., the Almighty Webmaster, and the Nameless One, though the permutations are endless. In the Torah it is written that the true name of David is 216 letters long.

David is known to speak at least 40 languages (though many cryptozoologists believe this to be an underestimate), and spent an unknown number of years with the Makati tribe of the African interior, learning their customs and after several years marrying into the tribe. He went on to produce four children, all great hunters, and quickly became respected by the tribal elders, who did not question his long unaccompanied journies into the nearby mountains. When the elders refused to make him chief, David killed every man, woman and child in the tribe, saying only "they were the lucky ones," staring for a moment into the mountains across the plain, and disappearing soon after the incident.

David Klionsky on Andrew.