Minutes20110829

Officer Reports

   eforney
       Had a summer!
       Was working in the psych department here at CMU
       campus is not as full of bodies in the summer
   Bubbles
       Had a summer!
       new people: (name, major, where from, something uninteresting)
           Chris, ECE, St. Louis, wearing footwear
           Elizabeth, CS, southern Maryland, most of the words she uses contain vowels
           Hilda, CS, Texas, wearing a jacket
           Lindsay, CS, Seattle, has 2 arms
           Vilsia, CS, California, hair in a ponytail
           Stephanie, art, New Jersey, has a height and weight
           Harris IS, Pittsburgh, is wearing glasses
           Corey, CS, Atlanta, is wearing contacts
           Serena, psych/bio, New Jersey, is Asian
           Snigdha, CS, Rochester (Minnesota), hair in a ponytail
           Luna, CS, Pittsburgh, can respirate
           Bill, CS, Pittsburgh, sitting in front row
           Maria, CS, New Jersey, goes to CMU
           Edward, CS, New Jersey, has 10 fingers and 10 toes
           Steven, engineering, Pittsburgh, Shelby's little brother (not what he said)
           Zach, chemE, New Jersey, cannot breathe underwater
           Jasmine, mechE, New Jersey, uses pens
           Jules, MSE, France, is standing
           Kim, MSE, New Jersey, is an oxygen addict
           Vis, IR, New Jersey, is standing here
           Veronica, physics, central Pennsylvania, is from central Pennsylvania
           Marlena, CS, Chicago area, does not have heat vision
           David, CS, Carlisle (Mass.), has 2 eyes
           Tristan, CS, Des Moines, graduated from high school
           Zane, CS, COlorado, is still alive
           Jackie, ECE, northern Virginia, is too quiet to be heard where RecSec is standing
           Delia, IS but maybe CS, Long Island, your mom
           Alex, CS, Connecticut, doesn't use qtips
           Miguel, ECE, Miami, walked here
           Eric, CS, Maryland, there is a circular object on his head with a smaller one inside it
           Lars, CS, Long Island, went to bed at 11
           Mansfield, ECE, Maryland, is not capable of photosynthesis
           Jason, business, northern Virginia, is a college student
           Claire, CS, small town in Massachusetts that someone had heard of, no socks today
           John, chemistry, Long Island, put socks on
   tvaughan
       EVENT! potluck in the park, Flagstaff Hill. Meet at the black chairs to head over
   mmeyerho
       Had a summer! research. Made pravda?!
       SUBMIT TO PRAVDA!
   tbroman
       Had a summer! Did nothing on his todo list.
   kharring
       Explains monies and dues
       72,400 skittles' worth of money in the treasury
   Clyde
       Had a summer!
       interned for his dad
       hung out with afalk
       the Mets won at some point

Committees

   The Shawn & Quxuum Variety Hour reports: shawn is back? wtf? and paid his dues?!
   The Awkward Palm Tree Committee reports awkward venus fly trap
   The Fortune Telling Fish Committee extends a warm welcome to all KGB freshmen, with dark promises of the future
       Bubbles will attract wolves in that shirt
   The Ad-Hoc "Hey! The Treasurer owes me $5!" Committee reports Hey! The treasurer owes me $5!
   The Spoken Song Lyrics Committee reads some really weird titles of songs
   The Ad-Hoc Committee to Recruit Freshmen to KGB reports success.
   The Ad-Hoc Committee to Overrun the KGB with CS Majors reports success.
   The Guild of Calamitous Intent, the misappropriated Committee to Assassinate the President, and others attempt to assassinate the President.
       They fail.
   The "I forgot how many committees I bought last semester" Committee reports, "I can't wait to buy more committees this semester!"
   The Ad-Hoc Get Down, Mr. President Committee reports, get down, Mr. President.
   The EEEEEEMUUUUUUU Committee reports emu
   The Jewish Standard Time Committee reports failure, by being on time for the meeting
   The Assassins Committee reports success.
   The Ad-Hoc "This Isn't a Beach?" Committee reports, "This isn't a beach? But I have no clothes!"
   Storytelling Committee:
       is confused to be here
       is drunk with power
       moral of the story: CMU is hard. CMU is really hard. But you're smart. We're all in this together. College is hard. We can help.

Old Business

   amckinni gets the thing - natural disasters are not his fault

New Business

   create the Appreciation for the Finer Arts Committee to celebrate people with weird names
       The Misappropriated Committee to Test the RecSec reports success
       shawn displays midseason wankery form over an exceedingly long name
       motion to append Dennis (passed)
       The Ad-Hoc Committee for Names that Sound Like Henry David Thoreau but Aren't reports success.
       vote: passes
       auction: $2 amckinni - chairs anyone wearing a hat at that moment.
   create the Dramatic Speech Committee to "this committee is the only thing standing between us and a world of desolation!"
       3 types of people in this world: dicks, pussies, and assholes
       shawn can redeem us from obscenity, for this is OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY
       We're in breed hall
       call to question
       vote: passes
       auction: $30 rdmarsh - chairs him and melodramatists
   create the Celebration of Fine Farts committee to celebrate James Joyce, Shakespeare, Wordsworth, and fart jokes
       too many seat cushions in this room
       James Joyce loved his wife's farts
       vote: fails
   create the Nerf Armory Committee to arm the KGB with foam rubber weapons
       we cannot afford to not pass this
       there will be provisions to arm those who cannot arm themselves
       the Evil Seafood League and the Guild of Calamitous Intent are wary of this committee
       *cock the nerf gun*
       right to bear arms (bear arms!)
       They can take our lives, but they can never take our freedom!
       ICBNerf?
       vote: passses unanimously
       auction: $25 egladdin - chairs him, those with nerf guns, all asssassins
   create the Homeopathy Committee to market KGB's invention of tap water substitute
       postponed
   create the Committee to Absolve the Treasurer of A $5 Debt to (as stated)
       The misappropriated "Yeah, pretty much that" committee reports, "Yeah, pretty much that."
       Don't repay the debt! Instead, raise the debt ceiling!
       The "Cool Committee Bro, Tell It Again" Committee reports success.
       motion to change the  name to "trolling committee to raise awareness to breast cancer research"
           salute memcginn
           (fails)
       we shouldn't pass without creating superexec (6 members) to something debt-ceiling-joke-ish
       vote: passes
       auction: $5 goob - chairs him
   create the Taxidermy Committee (finally) to stuff dead things with cotton
       eforney has a lot of cotton
       The Ad-Hoc Committee that Just Thinks Taxidermy is Kind of Creepy thinks taxidermy is kind of creepy.
       append Dennis
       vote: passes
       auction: $7 jcolmar - chairs him, those unhealthily interested in taxidermy

Announcements

   event (Friday)
   exec (Tuesday)
   how to bboard (demo)
   new people make happiness! (yay)
   pay dues! (by 9/30)

Schmucks

   shelby has textbooks
   xander wants people to edit the wiki
   ccolombo advertises trucks food
   pcd: many motions to purple
   lroop: this thursday: CMU computer club showing Swordfish
   ITR games this Saturday! 10pm wean 4
   lazertag! email dkirby with times. windowless van
   afalk DMs D&D
   gswagner adds assocs.kgb.rpg.omg
   shawn hints at pop occultism committee
   we have 72400 skittles' worth of money
   cshaffer needs a roommate