Minutes20131111
From KGB Wiki
OFFICER REPORTS
Broman
had a weekend
started with improv, which was rad
it was led by NPP who are people that are cool and not Adam
them not being Adam means that they didn't really expect all our quirks so that was amusing
probably did some work
has a job interview tomorrow in Philidelphia!
Caroline
had a weekend
you know the rage face that's real excited? that emotion
Al is in town and she has a job interview
Estelle is birthday!
JRAM
had a weekend
was mystified by Daniel John's pope seahorse
took the GRE on saturday
forgot the area of a circle
had to rederive it using fancy math tricks
probably got that problem wrong
EVENT
Trivia Night
Porter A18* 7:00
y'all should help write trivia if you don't actually want to do trivia
Marlena
had a weekend
started with a haircut
where a haircut is to put the hair on a different body
so the entity sitting here now is not the Marlena that we had last week, but an entirely different person
same hair, though
then improv, and mbritton was in town
there'll be a Pravda? next week
SUBMIT TO PRAVDA
Zora
had a weekend
started with the event, it was fun to watch improv
then went and watched Thor and it was AMAZING
then went to the Artemis party (and didn't play Artemis)
then went to Pacific Rim
then back to the Artemis party (and still didn't play Artemis)
then work? and booth
and then the weekend WASN'T OVER
played a victim in a simulation of a mass casualty incident
spirit gum IS STILL ON THEIR FACE
Dillon
had a weekend
it was remarkably similar to Zora's weekend
spent most of the event watching improv
only participated like twice
also saw Thor, also thought it was great, also went to Artemis
but actually played Artemis as part of the USS George Takei
also did booth on Sunday
but had boring class this morning
Mike
had a weekend
remarkably similar to Zora and Dillon's weekend
difference
was captain during Artemis
did science with the jump drive
you can go 12.3 km per unit energy
they were the Warp Accident
COMMITTEE REPORTS
Daniel John Kirby Nightmare In Dreamland Committee
Caroline had a dream
there was a hurricane and then things happened and everyone was fine
but an aircraft carrier landed near their house
but it had always been there
Daniel John Kirby Is So Full Of Himself Committee in conjunction with the misappropriated Tautology Committee
watching a documentary on health food
young girl from south thinks that in order to live until 90, she just has to try not to get killed
White Elephant Committee
issuing a challenge
JRAM loses
Intrep Journalist Collective:
conclusion to the continuing story of the Harvest Festival
they had been stuck underground
the owlbear got sober, had to drug him again
the crustacean was actually a dog
it got eaten by the owlbear
a starship warped through, juggalos had taken over surface
the council has declared open season on the juggalos
their population is declining
Skyentology Committee in conjunction with the Committee for ccolombo's Facination
reports
misappropriated Committee to Monitize The KGB
why don't we just film these meetings and put them on youtube?
we could make money off the ads
ad hoc Fun Facts About ccolombo Committee
telling the story about her dream reminded her about a real weird building from home
ad hoc Confuse A Bagger Committee
success
Skye's bagger liked AXO
Yoga Flame Committee
Getting Bike Through Tiny Doorway
Bulbous Boufont Committee
Schwaaaaa Jab
none of those motions were the actual Schwa Jab motion
Booth Committee
we had a meeting
discussed electrical
still having meetings at 3:00 on Sundays in Porter A18A
see facebook for recaps!
Zora will try to get this week's up soon
Min Bid Committee
continued massive success
ad hoc Performance Art Committee
would like to propose something with the Yoga Flame Committee
ad hoc Romantic Committee
would like to propose TO the Yoga Flame Committee
OLD BUSINESS
The Thing!
people not waking up is not Stephen's fault
NEW BUSINESS
Committee For Descriptive Facebook Photojournalism: to be sure that people know that the blood all over their friends isn't real
Xander objects
what if the blood is real?
that would still be a good thing to know
remember the steps for winning internet points
1) injure self
2) take picture
3) THEN seek doctor
Stuart's jeans now have fake blood, real blood, and red paint on them
ad hoc Women's Health Committee: will report back in about a month
report requested from the Spontaneous Shark Pun Committee
PASSES
$4 to McGinnis, he will chair
KGB NRA Commitee: for upstanding members of the KGB who like to uphold the 2nd Ammendment
change "2nd Ammendment" to "2nd law of robotics"
PASSES
change "NRA" to "National Robotics Association"
FAILS
change "NRA" to "NBA"
FAILS
motion to come on and slam
dilatory
change "robotics" to "thermodynamics"
FAILS
PASSES
$10 to McGinnis, he and dkirby will chair
motion to create standing rule that would establish "come on and slam" as always an order
I don't think we should come on and slam, he wants to stay clean today
we should add that we should only do it if we want to jam
what if we're not welcome to the jam? just the bread and peanut butter and stuff
Xander objects
creating new standing rules is dangerous and inadvisable
FAILS
Antiethnocentricity Committee: to celebrate today, November 11, as Singles Day
which is an actual holiday in China
prepend "kraft" to all instances of "singles"
PASSES
$23 to McGinnis, all people in committed relationships will chair
motion to create a standing rule that all alumni entering KGB meetings must high five at least one other alumnus
according to cmu anyone having completed one semester is an alumnus
tabled indefinitely
Warm And Fuzzy Committee: to talk about things that make people feel good feelings
mbritton would like to preempt this elaborate your mother joke right now
eforney: vibrators
PASSES
$15 to Frieder, Xander will chair
Hat Hair Committee: to take pride in our appearances
how does this committee feel about helmets
they are welcome
append "and perform magic tricks" to purpose
PASSES
hat hare committee
geddit
eforney always takes lust in her appearance
dkirby always takes gluttony in his appearance
anyone can pull a rabbit out of a hat, but it takes a real magician to pull a bear out of one
have you ever seen a man eat his own head?
okay, nobody panic and don't smell like food
Marlena watched a scary video in art class
PASSES
$7 to McGinnis, anyone with any experience in illusions will chair
Superfast Bidding Committee: any bids for this committee, if you dont respond in less than a second--shaaaame
three
time travel: four
t h e V e r y S l o w C o m m i t t e e d o e s n o t a p p r o v e o f t h i s c o m m i t t e e
$3 to McGinnis, Frieder will chair
Suspicious Package Committee: so the KGB can better handle their suspicious packages
motion to place quotation marks around "suspicious" and "package"
PASSESS
heyyyy your mom is already in charge of this committee
put it away twright
motion to enclose all quote marks in more quote marks
no
change all "suspicious" with "glorious" with that creepy inflection
PASSES
replace all quotation marks with two apostrophes
append finger twiddling motion to "glorious"
PASSES
motion to put "committee" in question marks
PASSES
prepend "people's" before all "glorious" in purpose
PASSES
PASSES
$21 to McGinnis; he, Skye, and the present Rec Sec will chair
motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for the event
PASSES
Evil League of Eagles: to keep a watchful eye on and sometimes eat the Evil Seafood League
Guild of Calamitous Intent: approves
change "eagles" to "EEEAGLES"
PASSES
Evil Seafood League: would like to remind everyone of the effect of water on feathers
Evil League of Eagles: would like to point out the affect of air on fish
Skyentology Committee: is working on this problem
Evil Seafood League: yeah well that won't be a problem much longer
air we mean
air won't be a problem
PASSES
$20 to mbritton, disbanded
we've seen upstarts before, we'll see them again
451 Every Day Committee: to wrap about how awesome reading is
butterfly in the skyyyyy
COME ON
wanna smoke some trees
change name to "420 committee"
FAILS
don't drugs okay
drugs are bad
PASSES, $5 to McGinnis, 420 will chair
Spoonerisms Committee: to speak in spoonerisms
I said "capable runt"
you think you know epidemiology? you don't know epidemiology
cunning stunts downhill derby
isn't that just the naked popeathon?
upon a slitted sheet I sit
SUCCESS
pheasent mother plucker
have you ever held in your heart my darling a half warmed fish
PASSES
$7 to McGinnis, all primes shall chair
Dangerous Trend Committee: to have a meeting where Frieder spends strictly less money than he did the meeting before
part of Marlena is sad that only two people are bidding, part of her is happy because they're bidding a lot
hey who wants to go to the Porch after this?
the joke is that Xander got food poisoning from it
$16 to Frieder, he and everyone else who causes him to spend money in any way shape or form will chair
ANNOUNCEMENTS
EVENT
Trivia Night
Friday, 7:00, Porter A18*
you can help write questions if you don't thing you'll want to do trivia
sweatshirts
there's a form on the facebook page
we can email you
frosty wants to be emailed
(briedel)
the price is PROBABLY $20 for members, $25 for nonmembers
SCHMUCKS
if anyone's interested in doing CS research for next semester
Xander's lab is looking for a CS person
up to 18 units
modeling stuff
talk to him
bring headphones for cluster gaming
the disbanded Evil League of Eagles
will come back in it's final form
Pittsburgh Obscure Games is doing a soccer thing
one goal instead of two so you need fewer people to play
it'll happen at Flagstaff at some point
Nerf Wars
this weekend
stay tuned
McGinnis spent $70 to $80
we are now in purple
