Minutes20140302

OFFICER REPORTS

   Broman
       had a weekend
       started with the UPA
           which was awesome
       played magic all day and well into the night on Saturday
           also awesome
       then sunday there was the Superbowl and it was shitty, shitty, shitty, shitty

   James
       had a weekend
       UPA!
           where he was bought in two separate auctions
       also read a book of Lovecraft on Saturday
       new people
           Luke, MechE, University of Pitt, that counts as uninteresting

   JRAM
       had a weekend
       was bought at the UPA
           proportedly to provide him with pants
       watched the Superbowl
           "farsicle" is the best word for it
       EVENT
           KGB Digs Its Own Grave
           Karaoke
           in this very room (DH 1212)
           7:00, Friday

   Marlena
       had a weekend
       basically UPA followed by work
       and if she hadn't had that much work she probably still wouldn't have watched the Superbowl
       Pravda?!
           ...Broman already chose a new theme?

   Zora
       had a weekend
       boothed! built many flats, some of them comically small.
       and then spent a day doing homework and CAPTAIN AMERICA 2 TRAILER

   Dillon
       had a weekend
       UPA
           we raised $1300!
       also went to the first booth
           because booth chair

   Mike
       had a weekend
       UPA
           got bought and bought people
           now owns Frieder
               hilarity will ensue
       boothed
           not a chair but lives with them
       got free food from the Mellon
           which is the best

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   Lies And Slander Committee
       was told there would be free chipotle at the new one
       there was not
       it was closed

   Illustrious Journalist Collective
       Tim Broman's wedding ended horribly yesterday
       the tragedy could have been prevented had he been informed of the wedding

   ad hoc John Madden Official Endgame Committee
       the birdies beat the horsies

   Broetry Committee
       "Firewater and Smirnoff Ice" by eforney and Brobert Frost

OLD BUSINESS

   The Thing!
       Pravda?s not getting printed is not Frieder's fault
           ...they got printed
           nothing isn't Frieder's fault this week

NEW BUSINESS

   Don't Touch The Cupcake Committee: to infect as many people as possible using reverse psychology
       change purpose to "touch the cupcake"
           does it still infect everyone?
               of course!
           PASSES
       append "sweet, sweet vengence" to the purpose
           PASSES
       when you say infected...?
           zombies.
       change all "infected" to "confected"
           PASSES
       flashbacks of Vietnam
       the kittens look fizzy
       motion to define the cupcake as being chocolate and the icing as being vanilla
           well, you're halfway there
       PASSES
       $3 to Marlena, anyone who didn't touch the cupcake, plus Marlena, will chair

   Committee To Throw Your Debts And Sins At The Treasurer: pretty much that
       general body requesting more information on said sins
           caroline forgot to pay her dues at the beginning of the year
       how does this committee feel about money for innocuous purposes delivered sketchily in plastic bags?
           friendly
       the ccolombo is an antiaircraft tank committee: reports
       committee for ccolombo's fascination: caroline's a tank
       PASSES
       $2 to Maija, people with debts and or sins will chair

   Skyecotic: Skyecotic
       is this committee skyecolic?
       if you're having skyecotic episodes, you need a skyecologist
       ad hoc KGB Psychoanalysis Committee
           skyepolar and skyecosis are distinct DSM disorders
       how does this committee feel about constantly needing to wake up?
           you have to wake up, you have an exam in ten minutes
       does this committee feel?
           that's a big question
       can this committee tell me about its mother?
           what?
       request for ad hoc Linguists Committe: what does Skye mean in its root languages?
           "I dunno, whatever"
       PASSES
       $6 to Skye, anyone who can properly make a Skye pun will chair

   KGB Ultimate Beatdown Committee: tbroman called eforney fat, also some other stuff, loud yelling, okay Xander
       tbroman has literally broken someone's nose
       SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS: wrestlinggggg?
       FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT: maaaaaybe not during the meeting
       Broman thanks eforney for saving his life last night
       request report from Storytelling Committee:
           Broman broke jboning's nose by pocketboxing
               that thing where you put your hands in your sweatshirt pockets and swing around with your elbows
           Broman's a cold blooded killer, he's broken the nose of an entire orphanage
       why does an orphanage only have one nose?
           irrelevant
       Extra Zen Committee in conjunction with the Yoga Flame Committee: is this the meeting where Xander finally loses it?
           "it" being his voice
       PASSES
       $1 to Xander, he and testosterone will chair

   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for food for the event
       PASSES

   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $500 for initial booth stuff
       replace some tools (like tape measures), some lumber
       it is possible to have too many drills?
           8 is that number
       PASSES

   motion to create a standing rule that, for the next month, should the chair become unoccupied, the power of the chair will pass to Frieder with Skye second in line after him
       it would expire at 5:00pm, during a meeting, on March 3rd
           yep
       Frieder and Broman are fighting over the bylaws
       append that this is after all the rest of exec has vacated
           PASSES
       the chair can step down by choice
       request report from the Assassinations Committee
           Assassinations Committee: dead silence
       request report from the Sergeant At Arms
           Mike: what
       ad hoc Broman Is Probably Right Committee: seniority is stated in bylaws, not rules of succession
           those are in Robert's Rules of Order
       PASSES

   Marlena: point of whatever, please don't kill us

   Adorable Assassinations Committee
       don't worry, you won't be covered in blood

   Peyton Manning Memorial Wind Farm Committee: to totally blow it
       it's a triple entendre
       Peyton Manning tried to throw in the towel but it got intercepted
       if you were playing the Ohio drinking game, you were probably sober by the end of the Superbowl
       what
       PASSES
       $5 to dkirby, he and every other member of the KGB who watched the Superbowl will Chair

   Caroline Is A Tank Committee: to retrofit the members of the KGB into military hardware
       Caroline Is An Antiaircraft Tank Committee: disapproves
       misappropriated Don't Worry It's For Science Committee: don't worry, it will only hurt for a few years
       James wants to be a battleship
           F7!
       PASSES
       $2 to Frieder, the first person to get outfitted with military hardware will chair

   motion to create a standing rule that "forney" counts for "five" during auctions
       eforney is sick of these unrealistic expectations for last name size
       why did Forney Frieder Drew?
           [PUNCHLINE REDACTED]
       PASSES

   J. Alfred Prufroc's Committee: references to T. S. Elliot
       all the women come and go
       talking like Michaelangelo
       it's pretty slushy outside, you should wear your trousers rolled up
       you think you're pretty clever, don't you, e. email cummings
       one fish two fish red fish blue fish
       one fish drew fish red fish blue fish
       one fish two fish red fish blue fish yellow fog that kind of looks like a cat
       this is a haiku
           professor rhinocerous
           I hate poetry
       you think you're so smart
           with your silly little words
           this is not so hard
       $1 to eforney, Benedict Cumberbatch, Bo Burnam, the author of pictures for sad children, twright, and herself will chair

   Creative Hand Gestures Committee: to find more creative ways of flipping people off
       this is the feather, it's for people who don't deserve the burd
       Churchill was confused for a while into the War
       eforney gives this committee a one out of five
       ccolumbo gives this committee a two out of ten
       oh, wait I can't hear you, let me put up the antenna
           oh, you wanna talk to the KGB?
       crank it up
       president skroob
       change name to "Martin Freeman Memorial Committee"
           PASSES
       PASSES
       $2 to Mike, anyone who comes up with a new way to flip someone off will chair

   Committee Pokemon Committee: committees: gotta catch 'em all
       misappropriated afalk Committee: approves
       is it possible to forcefully acquire a committee?
           no
       FAILS

   if you're happy and you know it clap your hands
       clap clap!

   Long Past Childhood Committee: enter the minds of people and make them relive their memories
       Innovative Technologies Committee
           they're working on something to do this
           it looks like a tin hat
       I didn't understand but there was a probably cool thing about Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
       who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
           SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS
               HIS PANTS WERE RECTANGLES
       "square pants" actually refers to pants for which the measurements for legs and waist are the same
           32x32, for example
       PASSES
       $1 to JRAM, disbanded

   we are now in purple

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       KGB Digs Its Own Grave
       Karaoke on Friday in this very room
       7:00, DH 1212

   Booth
       go to builds!
       especially if you said yes when we voted on booth
       construction builds are at 12 on Saturdays in the Kage
       art meetings at 5:30 on Thursdays in DH 1217

   pay your debts!

   sweatshirts
       we ordered more than people preordered, so you can buy one if you want and didn't preorder
       also, you should pay and claim your sweatshirt if you preordered

SCHMUCKS

   Puzzlehunt CMU
       March 22nd, which is a Saturday
       register at mazeoftwistypassages.com
       you can have up to 5 people on your team (this is a new thing, previously the max was 4)
       if you're gonna be out of town, you should playtest!
           email eforney or Dillon or someone who looks like they might know what's going on