Minutes20141301

OFFICER REPORTS

   Broman
       had a haircut
           by that he means break
       also went places and did things maybe
       watched a lot of tv
       it was relaxing
           so relaxing he forgot when sleep is supposed to happen
           he's has been going to bed at 5am
               this may be a problem
       also Caroline had to resign because class and so now James Colmar is our 1vp

   (tepid applause)
   
   James
       had a break and weekend
       in that weekend colmar.exe has developed a virus
           so he's operating at about 75% efficiency

   JRAM
       had a break
       large amount of games
           video and board
       large amount of money spent on steam
           as is typical for the season
       this weekend, bluification
       EVENT
           Potluck!
           7pm, PHA18*
               (rooms not confirmed yet, watch facebook for changes)
           bring food and boardgames!

   Marlena
       had a break
       lazed around in new house in Texas and played with dogs
           also looking for cougars because those are apparently around in Texas
           (broman: do you have brothers?)
       Pravda? theme for this week: Unnatural Disasters

   Zora
       had a break and at least three weekends within that break
       first was WAY TOO LONG IN MINNESOTA
       then time in Madison with actual friends and fun
       also they got a tiny plush enterprise
           PEW PEW

   Dillon
       had a break
       his family moved
           spent half the break unpacking
       spent the rest procrastinating from procrastinating
           meant to marathon tv shows, instead marathoned QI

   Mike
       had a vacation
       in the cold north of Boston
           shredded a newspaper with a snowblower
           then it snowed again and shoveling wasn't fun anymore
       went skiing!
           ended up on their back going headfirst down the slope

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   misappropriated Alcaholist Committee
       marlena turned 21!
       her mom scheduled a spa day and snuck in mimosa mix
           but there were free ones there anyway
       also wine pairings at dinner

   KaijuB Committee:
       they are not an unnatural disaster, excuse you

   Illustrious Journalist Collective
       turns out news doesn't stop whenit's not reported
       the long lost mayor came back, but went back out

   all of the dkirby committees
       he has a beard

   Innovative Technologies Committee
       they do not open source their viruses, since it would be counterproductive
       free samples got dat

   Open Source Samples Committee
       happy to give you viruses

   Broetry Committee
       "A Bro Is The Thing With Brewskis"

   Alcaholist Committee
       Maija's recycling may be trash talking her

   Time Travel Committee
       there is no way to go back to the good old days

   bswolf Memorial Committee
       chalk this one up!
       (JRAM throws chalk)

   Skyentology Committee
       broman + time = comedy?

   Guild of Calamitous Intent, in conjunction with the Don't Worry It's For Science Committee
       don't worry if you notice Xander disappearing halfway through all the meetings this semester, that means it's working

OLD BUSINESS

   The Thing
       stink bombs going off in the 2nd floor of Hunt at 7:15 on some day is not Stephen's fault

NEW BUSINESS

   KGB Imperial Fleet: take over KGB with the cunning use of flags, I mean shirts, I mean shirts with boats
       change name to "KGB Metric Fleet"
           PASSES
       does a metric fleet fly through a metric space?
       the Alcoholist Committee would prefer if this were the Metric Stout Committee, but they'll live
       Evil Seafood League and Guild of Calamitous Intent both call dibs
       PASSES
       $2 to Maija, people with boats will chair

   Things You Find In Texas Committee: real live cougars made from real live cats
       funny hats
       everything bigger
       no bike lanes
       that one place that Stephen can't remember
       more swamps than you'd think
       civilization
       shocking amount of guns
       freedom
       REMEMBER THE ALAMO
       my exes
       PASSES
       $3 to Marlena, anyone who's been in Texas (not including airports) will chair

   United Pickles Alliance Against He-man And The Masters Of The Universe: I am Dillator!
       append motion to purpose "and to make Dillon Dillator"
           PASSES
       comment from treasurer:
           "very interesting"
       PASSES
       $3 to Christian, disbanded
       (Dillon is still Dillator)

   First Committee That KGB Will Pass In The Year 2014: chaos and mass hysteria, apparently
       change name to "Third Committee That KGB Will Pass In The Year 2014"
           FAILS
       change name to "Fifth To Last Committee That KGB Will Pass Before We Are All Eaten By Cats"
           PASSES
       change all "cats" to "bootsandcats"
           PASSES
       has anyone seen Xander's cat?
       change all "cats" to "cougars"
           PASSES
       Innovative Technologies Commitee: has in no way been putting viruses into Xander's cats
       change "bootsandcougars" to "cougars"
           PASSES
           that was circuitous
       FAILED

   Committee To Spread Peace And Love And Tolerance Through Unconventional Means: Book Of Morman Joke
       Ethan would like to point out that the name of this committee is a sex joke
       PASSES
       $2 to Drew, disbanded

   This Is Not A Sex Joke Committee: disregard the title
       Xander can make sex jokes too: BLOWJOBS
           people laughed it was funny
       motion to strike first three words
           PASSES
       caulk joke wood joke
       Xander has a better one:
           A man walks into a bar. BLOWJOBS
       Who is on First
       change name to "A Sex Poke"
           FAILS
       change name to "A Calm Rational Discussion Of The Antijoke Of A Sexual Nature"
           PASSES
       change name to "Considerate Literate Intelligent Thought"
           PASSES
       PASSES
       $2 to Drew, eforney will chair

   committee that will be disbanded upon creation: report continuing failure
       change purpose to "report success exactly once"
       so would this committee rather fight a McGinnis-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized McGinnises?
       PASSES
       $5 to McGinnis, disbanded

   KGB Imaginary Friend Committee: to generate and imaginary friend for the KGB starting with this snake
       but first let's add wings
       can we add a beefy arm?
       append "and burninate the countryside"
           FAILS
       trogba trogba trogba trogba trogba trogba
       motion to append a beard and a prehensile tail (a second one)
           also a second arm that is made of beef
           PASSES
       if we feed him an elephant how closely will he resemble a hat?
           let's see
       ad hoc KGB Psychoanalytic Committee: supported but not impressed
       motion to table until after a time
           dilatory
       how does this committee feel about tea time?
           good
           tea is good
       motion to postpone discussion until after naptime
           Frieder is tired give him his juice
           PASSES unanimously

   motion to take a nap
       it's a good idea
       but this week's event isn't KGB Takes A Nap!
       FAILS

   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for supplies for the event
       PASSES

   Secondary Warp Drive Committee: build a starship powered by the energy resulting from second-antisecond elimination
       if seconds and antiseconds were created in equal amounts, why are there more seconds?
           because that didn't happen
       misappropriated Time Travel Committee: don't pass the thing! now we all have beards!
       we learned in fifth grade that words have POWER, not energy
       the energy is about 120hz, you make the joke
           lots of seconds
       Time Travel Committee: there IS actually a safe timeline
       this committee just exploded
       seagull immediately precedes second in a dictionary
           so obviously seagulls are antiseconds
       PASSES
       $5 to Stuart, the pilots who live on the Death Star Committee will chair

   yeah, no

   motion to officially define the dictionary of the KGB as the one only containing "seagull" and "second"
       as it happens the word second actually predates the word seagull
       this means that spelling only maters 4 thos werds
       if we play scrabble, are those the only two legal plays?
           no, use the scrabble dictionary, don't be a jackass
       motion to switch the places of the words so we don't subscribe to English ideals
           what is English
       PASSES

   Triple Entendre Committee: in the American southwest there's a strip club near an airport called the Landing Strip
       this committee's name is a specification for a sex joke
       seagull seagull second
       there's a sports bar called Bottom of the Fifth
       PASSES
       $3 to drew, Rory will chair

   Committee Dedicated To General Boring Mundane Everyday Happenstance: look into this very bright light and don't blink
       Drew is uncomfortable
       insert "crazy random" between "everyday" and "happenstance"
           PASSES
       I had a weekend
       last time James was told to look into a bright light and not blink an actual needle was put into his eye
       PASSES
       $2 to Drew, disbanded

   Secret Lair Committee: I got a key to a studio and need things to store in it
       Alcoholist Committee: would like to suggest alcohol
           yeah no there are rules against that
       motion to change name to "Stately Pleasure Palace"
           PASSES
       she should fill it with bats
           bats and sadness and crying because MY PARENTS ARE DEAD
       how much dead body space does it have?
           like, 20?
       Drew reccomends milk and honey
       a THOUSAND ping pong balls
           each more deadly than the last
       Bello Lugosi
           he played dracula
       could you fill it with Texas?
           you could fill Texas with like a million of it
           so, yes
       PASSES
       $4 to Drew, Marlena will chair

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       Potluck in Ontario
       7:00 pm, A18*
       we'll bring soda
       you should sign up in the googledoc and bring food!
           bring your own serving utensils, seriously
           also don't crosspollenate serving utensils
           also make a note of ingredients on dish

   we put up thataway signs
       if you bring them to us, you'll get 5 Complex Tim Broman Points
       (take them down)

   booth meetings well be on Thursdays and Saturdays, not this week
       check the facebook group!

   sweatshirts will be here soon

   Exec meetings are at 5:00 on Tuesdays in UC 306

SCHMUCKS

   various Oakland places are doing $5 lunches every day this week!
       google Oakland restaurant week

   Maija is disappointed in us for not getting the reference to Douglas Adams

   come to the Dropboat Techtalk

   getbiglikeevan.blogspot.com

   samepicofdavecouliereveryday.tumblr.com

we are now in purple