Minutes20142001
From KGB Wiki
OFFICER REPORTS
Broman
Had a weekend
there was an event
it turned into MIT Mystery Hunt
which was some BULLSHIT but also fun
went skiing on Saturday and now everything hurts
well, most of everything
whiplash is a thing that he has
if anyone ever has whiplash and then they rub the back of their neck, they're wrong
it's when you hurt the front of your neck by throwing your head back
on Sunday kept discovering deadlines were farther back then he thought
and then just...not doing work
James
had a weekend
there was an event
brought Forbidden Desert
and then died
and then played some more games
doesn't remember what those games were because Stuart wasn't part of them
new people
Michael, Econ and Math, Maryland, likes cookies
Craig, Physics and Philosophy, from a place, likes cookies
JRAM
had a weekend
event
played Forbidden Desert
ate unforbidden dessert
more games
EVENT
Tool Training
Friday, 7:00, Kage (under Stever)
entrance is on the driveway between Stever and Morewood
go to learn how to use tools for BOOTH
you should come no matter what it's fun and you can learn skills
it basically turns into the first build
Marlena
had a weekend
played games
opened boxes from home, because her family moved from Illinois
found ALL of the old Pokemon cards
Pokemon ensued
this morning
in a class called Social History of Animation
until now it's been protoanimations, like Sylvester the Cat, and there hasn't been sexual content
she should have known better, it's an art class
this new cartoon was not socially acceptable
it was from the 20s, so only sex was unacceptable
it was reasonable until the horse
"The Adventures of Everready Hardon"
if you want to google it
Zora
can't top that
had a weekend
played some games
did some work
Dillon
had a weekend
involved board games
played Flashpoint
cried twice, rejoiced once
Mike
had a weekend
besides boardgames tried to do work
just puttered around until they remembered Spectacular Spider-Man
lab inspection happened, which means they had to clean up
and thus, they couldn't find ANYTHING
COMMITTEE REPORTS
ad hoc Preemptive Racism Committee
haha, MLK joke
okay we're done
ad hoc Peer To Peer File Sharing Committee
if you recieve a copy of a textbook from a friend...
don't show that copy to a professor who wrote that textbook
Daniel John Kirby Is So Full Of Himself Committee
he's sick
ad hoc Physical PUNishment Committee
told too many jokes this weekend got pun?
((okay I have no idea what this joke was anymore))
the funniest part of Marlena's story is that there was a bagger in the classroom
bswolf Memorial Committee
wants to nip all jokes about the football teams coming from two states with pot legalized in the bud
Innovative Technologies Committee
was gonna have a lab inspection
the inspector got eaten by the big furry monster that's taken up sitting outside the lab
so if you want to be an inspector, there's an opening
Illustrious Journalist Collective
there's a strange being outside the Innovative Technologies Committee
Guild of Calamitous Intent and Evil Seafood League claim culpability
also the coffee break mayor came back and his secretary had to pee real bad
okay I lost the plot sorry
it was one sentence
Skyentology Committee
they have meds that will get rid of the monster
who takes the meds?
251 Torture Committee
success
ad hoc Winter Is Coming Committee
Caroline looked at the weather
today is the last day for a week it'll be above 20
ad hoc Metric Conversion Committee
it's been below 0 all week
OLD BUSINESS
The Thing!
recieving a really old copy of a textbook from a friend is not Sam's fault
NEW BUSINESS
Interesting Facts About Bees Committee: to talk about interesting facts about bees*
motion to strike each instance of a double "e" following a "b"
PASSES
we should bring Bubbles in with his bees bees bees shirt
bees die in the cold because they're like college students
ad hoc Nicolas Cage Committee: disapproves
place "" around "bs"
FAILS
if you write the word bed it looks like a bed
the "b" is the headboard
every bee's favorite band is cascada
you said interesting facts, not true
bees never poop inside their hives
when it's warm enough outside there's a mass poop and corpse exodus
is "bees" defined as "people in cluster"?
in the word "alphabet", the "bet" comes from "beta", which is like a greek "b"
thank you for subscribing to bee facts
to unsubscribe, text "unsubscribe" to 442242
did you know that bees are considered that bees are considered the world's best tango dancers?
there used to be a twitter under the name truebeefacts
there is a bee sitting in your head currently
$2 to Frieder, he and anyone else suffering from a bee injury
The Best Possible Outcome Of A Story That Starts With ______: things could be worse
did you know that there's always a bee on you at all times
so Maija got hit by a car last month
the best possible outcome of getting hit by a car
money?
Bill Gates having hit you and donating his fortune
that's how SCS got funded
$5 to Stuart, anyone who had a bad day will chair
we're rules wanking about money and talking about printing money new Mike belongs here
Time Travel Committee
there are shenanigans
Real Actual OTP Committee: to discuss otps and ot3s
for example, Woody from Toy Story and George Washington
$5 to Erin, anyone with an otp will chair
motion to create Fuck
can it have a purpose?
motion for the general body of the KGB recognise the previous motion as a motion to append "fuck" to the KGB Official Dictionary
PASSES
as a linguist eforney would like to mention that fuck is one of the most VERSITILE words
Everyone's A Linguist Committee: fuck
this will give the KGB Official Dictionary the ability to create actual sentences
but this will make "second" not the second word
Dyslexia Committee: no, the dictionary does not have to be in order
ad hoc This Is How I Pay My Rent Committee
this will make Maija's work much easier
how's that going?
much better now that she's switched to pen and paper
PASSES
motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50,000 so that the journalists don't die
nope
Artistic Pornographic Discussion Committee: to watch porn in class and discuss it
Snarky Freshmen Committee: can this be an Interp topic?
and that's how Drew watched porn in cluster
TBA is scheduled for April 9
how many units is this porn watching worth?
between 9 and 10
did you know that Ron Jeremy's grandmother recieved fanmail for him?
he used to have the same initials as her, but after this happened a couple times she made him change his name
how many eunuchs is this committee worth?
spell eunuchs
is this committee going to respect the fact that Ron Jeremy was Jewish?
...yes?
how many Linux is this committee
nooooo Linux
motion to "playtest"
misappropriated Don't Worry It's For Science Committee: approves
append to purpose "for the plot"
PASSES
we have an event!
actually it's not for science it's for art
motion to change CMU to a liberal arts collecge
oh god no
motion to append "for art for science" to the purpose
PASSES
ad hoc Unsubtle Innuendos Committee: BLOWJOBS
motion to crosslist course in the theater department
dilatory
PASSES
$6 to McGinnis, anyone who would sign up for that class
motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for food for the event
PASSES
Unsubtle Innuendos Committee: KGB training Kage, oh wait I mean BLOWJOBS
SEX
Marlena has a cage in her basement
so there Drew was, watching porn in cluster
these aren't innuendos they're just dirty words
look we don't need the blow by blow here
so there Maija was, writing porn in the KGB meeting
Considerite Literate Inteligent Thoughts Committee: doesn't feel the need to make commnet
let's not make this any harder than it needs to be
penis
what
Penis.
what
PENIS
motion to lower the average age of the KGB to 14
that would require a large influx of 8 year olds or a small influx of babies
which can happen
yeah no not writing that
PASSES
$7 to Xander, anyone who misses twright will chair
I Need An Adult Committee: to designate an official adult when things get too KGB
Caroline nominates eforney
out of order
Maija, can we hear some of your porn?
let her edit it first
being an adult is not about being mature, it's about knowing when to act mature
motion to designate "apple juice" as the codeword
out of order
we need a better definition of an adult
motion to deisignate "apple juice" as the safeword
out of order
being an adult means you get to drink as much alcohol as you want, make as many pancakes as you want, and drive really fast cars
so you mean Nicolas Cage?
it's not specified that you have to do these things legally
motion to nominate Barak Obama as our adult
out of order
go to your room and sit on your hands
what are my hands doing?
$6 to Drew, eforney shall chair
motion to designate Barak Obama as the official adult of the KGB
change "Barak Obama" to "Barab Obabo, somthing of unitinu"
PASSES
motion to change the adult to Mr. Rogers
PASSES
Filthification Committee: make clean songs obscene
Frieder needs an adult
oh, Canada!
my grandpa sells condoms to sailors
and punctures the tips with pins
it just gets worse from there
Shelby's mom used to work in a pharmacy in the 70s
Drew needs an adult
Rick Santorum's wife used to shack up with an abortion doctor in law school
don't go to Chick Fil A tomorrow
they're doing a day for the Duck Dynasty guy
there'll be lots of camo
it's scary
FAILS
motion to pass a motion
PASSES
Princess Leia Reminder Committee: to remind exec when something is not a committee
how does this committee feel about Cinnabons?
I have a bad feeling about this
motion to put this committee in a metal bikini
it's a trap
I feel like this committee is being made for Alderan reasons
never tell me the odds
$3 to McGinnis, he and anyone who hasn't seen all 6(3) starwars movies
Beatbox Committee: gimme back my money!
motion to add 30% more wub wub
PASSES
have you tried rapping the box
yipyipyip
only on Boxing Day
yipyipyip
JRAM tried to drop some beats but vegetables ended up everywhere
PASSES
$4 to McGinnis, the box will chair
ANNOUNCEMENTS
EVENT
Tool training!
Friday, 7:00, in the Kage (storage space below Stever)
learn to use equipment or teach the use of equipment and/or build
anyone can come to any event
so come! even if you don't do booth
sweatshirts!
$20 for members, $25 for nonmembers
if you've ordered one you're obligated to buy it
go to Dillon, hand him the appropriate amount of money, THEN retrieve your sweatshirt
in that order
there were some games left at the event last Friday
including:
a set of Set
also one with lasers?
Dillon didn't bring the treasury (oops)
we need small bills if you can pay in those
the event after this one (in 11 days) is the Useless People Auction
if you want to auction off 6 hours of your time, email exec with a blurb of skills
if you're uncomfortable because there's someone you don't want to purchase you, email Marlena
or if you're uncomfortable with emailing her, email someone else on exec
if you're not a CMU student you can still auction yourself off
SCHMUCKS
if anyone has storage space near Maggie Mo, Xander needs a space to store his calligraphy stuff
he'll compensate you in cash or other
today is MLK day and we're mostly white
so Dan and friends might watch the Star Trek episode that is relevant
meet up after KGDinner
trying to do ballet in boots hurts
we are now in purple
