Minutes20150504

OFFICER REPORTS

   Mike
       had a weekend
       involved a lot of panic
       but it'll be done on thursday!
       
   Skye
       had a weekend
       back to the future is funny
       also work
   
   Dillon
       had a weekend
       back to the future is great
       Event!
           Mafia Night!!
           Weds May 6 (reading day), leaving from black chairs at
           dress fancy!
               (like a 7)
           we're taking a bus and the subway (bring lots of change if you don't have a CMU ID!)
           reservation is at 5:00, we're going to bucca di beppo
   
   Erin
       had a weekend
       lived in rangos for 2 days
       spontaneous barbecue on sunday
   
   Zora
       had a weekend
       
   
   Joe
       had a weekend
       has a joke
           two people of indeterminite nature walk into a bar
           it's funny because pain and suffering
   
   Murphy
       had a weekend
       LOVES LASERDISK
       listened to a lot of mashups

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   jokes? jokes
       pittsburgh used to have a LOT of streetcars
       they wrecked 'em
   
   itty bitty kitty
       there's a phone game where cats live in your backyard
   
   kgboxcar
       v happy to watch boxcars crash
   
   what the hell is laserdisk?
       vinyl sized competetor to vhs...???
       
   cinematic suggestions
       grand budapest hotel
   
   kgbottlecaps
       we can get 1000 bottlecaps for $25. we're doing the thing
   
   awk and inap musical accompaniement, that wasn't the right committee
       let the bodies hit the floor & teletubbies
       
   ad hoc mashups
       thomas the tank engine and rap
   
   ad hoc appropriate musical accompaniment
       attack on titan theme and booth move on video

OLD BUSINESS

   The Thing!
       winning meche project being the automatic pot growing machine is not steven's fault
   (secret summer meetings are at 5:30 on the doherty steps)

NEW BUSINESS

   committee that just woke up: give frieder a minute he can think of a funny joke
       8:30am finals do not approve
   PASSES
   $1 to frieder, he will chair
   
   it goes with everything: you should listen to attack on titan
       listen to; never watch
       committees by themsleves, 4/10; committees with rice, 7/10
       look up grooseland
       cheesenips on sandwiches???
       murphy is out of coffee
       what would be a mash down?
           potatoes
       turn down for mashups
   PASSES
   $1 to murphy, mashup artists will chair
   
   senioritis: does josh HAVE to go to his early exam?
       senioritis is spreading to the freshmen
       change name to "proletariatitis"
           FAILS
       ed has senioritis WAY TOO EARLY
   PASSES
   $2 to stuart, anyone whose senior years are growing beyond two semesters
   
   napoleonic imperial army: russia has been the bane of marlena's life for quite a time. she will recruit from the russian secret service
       she will also accept neopolitan ice cream
       how about freeze dried
           no
       is there a min gpa requirement
           no, we need canon fodder too
       will this committee be taking down the rand corporation?
           maybe in the 2nd stage of section
       i think steven needs some ice cream
   PASSES
   $2 to marlena, anybody who defects from the russians to the french
   
   i don't want to deal with this: when you randomly get a message from someone you haven't spoken to in 3 years
       he still hasn't seen it and isn't going to
       pinocle joke?
           it's a card game
           involving 12 decks of cards
           it's a pun
           it's funny
   $1 to stuart, somebody else will chair
   
   i totally know what i'm talking about: if you give me some funding I can create a time machine
       frieder no
       isn't this committee made redundant by every single startup in silicon valley?
       no, it's alright, physics doesn't enter into this
           NO MIKE YOU'RE NOT A PHYSICS MAJOR MARLENA'S A PHYSICS MAJOR
       what happens if yo
           no
           not the grandfather thing
           no
   PASSES
   $2 to stuart, future him will chair
   
   antigrav research: keep the ball in the air!
   FAILED
   
   everything worked out for the better; it was just a spam message
   PASSES
   $1 to frieder, everyone who saw this committee get passed
   
   the committee of soviet socialist republics: kill people in the winter
   FAILS
   
   make sure that marlena has all the comicbook factions down: she wants to make sure she has all the weird villain archetypes down
       nazis
       well intentioned extremist
       the ill-intentioned moderate
       the illuminati
       writers with an agenda
       robot overlords
       aliens
       aluminum
       aluminium
       the kgb as a whole
       capes
       all of the silver age ones
       evil vice principals
   PASSES
   $3 to stuart, his adversaries will chair
   
   notficers committee: give notficers reports
       where notficers are not officers
   PASSES
   $1 to erin, disbanded
   
   out of context images from the internet: stereotypes, they're a real timesaver
       Josh is a 'helper'
           don't trust anything he says ever
   PASSES
   $2 to josh, anyone who has learned about stereotypes in psych classes and got sad about them
   
   roberts rules committee: to read out loud passeges from robert's rules of order
       change name to "giving frieder too much leeway"
           PASSES
       motion to table indefinately
           FAILS
       apparently it's rarely in order in ordinary societies
           we are not an ordinary society
       point of order: are we talking about robert's rules of order, or robert's rules of order: newly revised?
           the king james' version
   PASSES
   $6 to stuart, frieder will chair
   
   mismatched punchlines: so what's red and black--fuck
       so what's red and white and black all over?
           grass, I lied about the wheels
       why did the chicken cross the road?
           brown stick
       change purpose to "giving the spiked punch to the kids and the unspiked punch to the adults"
   PASSES
   $1 to murphy, he will chair
   
   robert's halls rules of thumb: to jump down the spiral staircase with a parachute
       joes dad had an hour long discussion about a microscope in robert's hall with a random stranger
       change name to don't give a fuck cmu police
           PASSES
       so IS THERE supposed to be a phone in the steam tunnels?
       there's a lot of random shit
           like the wireless access point
   PASSES
   $1 to murphy, base-ment jumpers
   
   committee to motion to seafoam green before the motion to purple: pretty much that
       we are now in purple
       motion to #define seafoam green purple
           mike doesn't know how to CS
   PASSES
   $2 to steven, disbanded
   
   my actions: to find out exactly which of my actions ARE endorsed by the KGB
       ed read the bylaws for a while
       how does this committee feel about vigilante heroism
           eh
       so marlena has access to a tank
           no
       frieder has access to a tank of fish
           no
       erin has a kitchen
           yep
       tank tops?
           depends where you put them
       eric exists
           eeeeh
       committee to assassinate the president
           no
           (skye owns it)
       committee to assassinate the committee to assassinate the president?
           yes
   PASSES
   $1 to frieder, the eternal dictators for life will chair
   
   kgboxcar: like buggy but way funnier
       motion to submit to sweepstakes that instead of buggies we should be pushing large trains down the hill
           sweepstakes got mad at us when we submitted a traincar as a buggy plan
       flatcartcan'tturn
   PASSES
   $1 to skye, she and others who go skyespeed

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       Mafia Night
       Weds May 6, black chairs
           CURRENTLY we have a really early reservation, we're gonna try to push it back
           we will send an email and post to the group
       dress fancy
       bring cash
   
   Artemis!
       tuesday night!
       6:00, Baker 140 cluster
       only works on a windows machine, bring your windows laptop
           if not we have cluster computers
       it is fun
   
   summer antics
       summer meetings!
       5:30, doherty steps
       start next week (may 11)
       last about 20 min, then we get dinner

SCHMUCKS

   misap artemis
       blowing up spaceships
       wednesday
       nasa
   
   marlena needs playtesters!
       take a test, play an improv game, take a test
       contact marlena!
   
   mari has a yearbook!
       sign it!
   
   almost midnight acapella
       starts at 10:00pm on tuesday
       mcconomy
   
   computer club movie night
       rashid at 9
       watching hackers
   
   buy steven dinner
       he's cheap
       he has money
   
   kittens game
       neko atsumi

purple and gtfo