Minutes20150928

OFFICER REPORTS

   Mike
       had a weekend
       was late to everything
       that has not changed
   
   Skye
       had a weekend
       drowning in paperwork and resumes
       changing lines in songs to suit her life
       new people
           daniel, cs, montreal, here bc underground
       
   Dillon
       had a weekend
       event was cool!
       saturday, rolled out of bed twice
           both times got a free meal
       took and passed amateur radio exam
       EVENT
           video game night!
           Friday, 7:00, WEH 5300 corridor
           bring your games! there will be a signup sheet online
               also www.cmukgb.org/games
   
   Erin
       had a weekend
       worked the csa talent show
       understood approximately 0 words
       got brunch on sunday!
           many dillon/dylans
       instead of homework, pravda!
   
   Zora
       had a weekend
       too much work
       also froyo
       also: BOOTH

MEETING AJOURNED SO PEOPLE CAN PAY DUES

NEW MEETING EXEC REPORTS

   skipping the first 3
   
   Zora
       had a weekend
       work
       froyo
       booth!
           vote next week
           if you haven't yet paid dues, bummer
           $15/semester, $20/year
   
   Joe
       had a weekend
       and then the toc
       he's moved on to visual puns
       captured a ufo on tape
   
   Murphy
       had a weekend
       started on thursday
           as it does
       went to purity ring
       went to the thrival festival
           panic at the disco!
       went to a juggling festival!
       watched pulp fiction
       can't stop listening to the music
       really loves pulp fiction

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   music for hobbiests:
       fast music sounds good when professionals do it
       go back and try again
   
   swear of the week
       BLAST
   
   oh god i'm old in conj with murphy's officer report
       panic at the disco is old?
   
   amazing realizations about the future
       murphy's hair destiny is greg universe
   
   catspiracy theory
       what if you replaced the recruiters with cats
   
   music for hobbiest
       marlena mentally invented the mp3 player
   
   misap swear of the week
       skye's professor: SENTIMENT!
   
   storytelling committee
       CMU Is Hard
           full text will be uploaded really soon
   
   shit jokes
       as the saying goes: how do you get to carnegie hall?
           eeeeh any 61 or 71 will do
       murphy comes up with all of these all by himself
   
   ship jokes
       blares its horn menacingly
   
   snip jokes
       a haircut
   
   we are now in purple
   
   ad hoc spirit of steven cunningham
       walking to the sky? more like walking to the bad architecture

OLD BUSINESS

   the Thing!
       all the jobs everyone's not getting are not Brian's fault this week
   
   actual soviet spies committee
       motion to table for an hour
           PASSES

NEW BUSINESS

   sekret soviet spies: let's see how this goes
       motion to table indefinitely
           FAILS
       motion to change the k to a c
           FAILS
       motion to table and gtfo
           dilatory
   PASSES
   $1 to Nika, russian
   
   numberwang: thaaaaaaaaat's numberwang
       14
           thaaaaaaaaat's numberwang
       schleventy five
           thaaaaaaaaat's numberwang
       fiftyflirp
           thaaaaaaaaat's numberwang
       let's rotate the stage
       six hundred twenty elf
           that's not numberwang
       skye is putting in an order for propeller beanies that say "thaaaaaat's numberwang" on them
   FAILS
   
   incredible dedication to childish production value: yeah pretty much that
       the storytelling committee:
           the act before panic at the disco
               it was good!
               had 3 foot balloons on stage
               handed them out
               as everything came back, the balloons popped and confetti came out
               and then there was a parachute???
               and the guy came and danced with the audience
               and then a security guard came and LIFTED HIM OUT and put him back on stage
       ab tech story:
           zola jesus
               at one point she ran out off stage during rehearsal
               ab tech was like, wow, that's weird, she's not gonna do that in the actual performance
               WELL
               YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED
       PASSES
       $2 to Joe, concert squids will chair

   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for supplies for the event
       PASSES
   
   better trivia: what's the answer
       who, was the president?
       are we on jeopardy or not?
       what ARE frogs?
   PASSES
   $1 to skye, better trivia will chair
   
   elevator rave: to find out which of the elevators on campus are capable of holding raves
       so there was an elevator picnic last week
           turns out if you sit in the elevator and no one calls it for 4 minutes, the light goes off
           joe found a strobelight and craig put on sandstorm
           ....but no jumping
           also there's no ac so it's gross
       incorrect way to host a rave: borrowing a generator
           we always wanted carbon monoxide poisoning
       please don't jump
       (one must follow all of the capture the flag rules when having raves in elevators)
       the morewood gardens elevators are a DISASTER
           murphy's friends got in and it FELL ot the basement
           skye got trapped with ballroom dancers
           brian got almost stuck when the door stopped halfway open and then the elevator started SINKING
   PASSES
   $1 to dillon, anybody who participates in elevator rave will chair
   
   amphibian classification committee: frogs are amphibians, squids are not
       is mayonnaise an amphibian?
           no erin, mayonnaise is not an amphibian
       what about horseradish?
           horseradish isn't either
       are duck tours amphibians?
           thaaaaaaat's numberwang
   PASSES
   $1 to murphy, malcolm mcdowel wil chair
   
   northwestern tree octopus: pretty much that
       it has its own website
       glenn read a short story where the evil plan was to genetically engineer organisms
           then release them into the wild
           then to hunt them as curiosities
       the website is about SAVING the northwestern tree octopus
   PASSES
   $1 to joe, every single octopus who lives in a tree
   
   skill-based committee: to test people's skills
       what kind of skills
           you'll see
       is luck considered a skill
       your family's security is in danger, and i have a very specific set of skills
       dillon, put down the airplane
           wait til the auction
       request report from the assassinations committee
           hi
   PASSES
   $3 to dillon, whoever can first get to this airplane (craig) will chair
   
   skye go talk to murphy
   
   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $30 for supplies for Human's vs Zombies
       PASSES
   
   committee on the undead: destroy the humans
       nooooooooo
       change the purpose to "destroy the undead"
           FAILS
       where can people sign up?
           cmukgb.org/zombies
           or zombies.cmukgb.org
           or talk to skye!
       change name to "committee on unliving affairs"
           PASSES
   PASSES
   $1 to skye, everyone who plays hvz will chair
   also the link works
   

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       video game night!
       sign up to bring stuff at cmukgb.org/games
       best to bring games that are multiplayer, cooperative, quick switches, can be played by committee
   
   DUES
       if you haven't payed your dues yet, you can't vote in next week's booth vote
       however, if you paid for last year, you're in a grace period
           pay your dues by the end of october to stay a member
           
   HvZ
       next week!
       super fun, good excuse to be silly
   
   BOOTH
       For the past couple of years the KGB has done BOOTH.
       We are going to hold a vote (and discussion) of whether or not to do booth this year NEXT WEEK
           10/5
       This is a Real Serious Business Vote
           which means you need to be a member to participate
           if you ARE a member and haven't paid dues yet this year, you're fine
               you should do it, but you're fine
       chairs
           if you're interested in being a booth chair--please talk to exist
   
   fixing our rules
       we're clarifying and entirely revamping our harassment policies
       if you have input, contact one or all of exec
       or, you can come to exec meetings
           UC 329, 7:30 on wednesdays
   

SCHMUCKS

   dates anthology kickstarter!
       hit our first stretch goal!!
       go to kickstarter.datesanthology.com
   
   schatz
       brunch on sundays!