Minutes20151207
From KGB Wiki
EXEC REPORTS
Mike
had a weekend
stayed up really late for no reason
don't make their choices
Skye
had a weekend
started AND FINISHED 22 pages on the american dream
which has become the american nightmare
don't take a class called capitalism
Dillon
had a weekend
starting sunday, has something that requires at least three hours of work each day until NEXT sunday
EVENT
trivia
OTHER EVENT
geek eat
WEDNESDAY DEC 16
cheesecake factory
don't know the exact time yet (somewhere from 5 to 7 eating time)
we'd leave an hour before (between 4 and 6)
MAKE SURE TO RSVP TO EXEC@CMUKGB.ORG BY THE END OF THE EVENT (i.e. midnightish)
Erin
had a weekend
her capstone group lied to her for the last time
not bc she murdered them, bc she turned in the report
begin hellweek anyway!
no pravda bc capstone team
Zora
had a weekend
wrote 300 words of a 4k paper due tomorrow
so that's great
got LITERALLY 10000 POSTCARDS
VERY HEAVY
Joe
had a weekend
but let's not talk about that
also kudos to harry for hardcore email chops
we just got worms too (only bc he's gonna forget)
joe is gaining facial hair
less is going to the horribe monopoly that is razor blades
more may be going to the horrible monopoly that is l'oreal
(he mustache himself if the savings are worth it)
I TYPED THIS ONE OUT BC CAPITALISM JOKES
Murphy
had a weekend
far more emotions than usual
by which he means like two
murphy's family is just much better than the rest of the world at charades
the memphis hill beatles cover gave him Emotions. EMOTIONS.
oh my god he also got emotions'd by star trek
CRIED
[leaves to get napkins for mike's disaster]
COMMITTEE REPORTS
i have a job committee: marlena has one!
someone teach her ochem
cmu is hard
this is the last week of classes
deadlines are coming up
finals are coming up
if you need someone to talk to
cats to hug
stuffed animals
to work in a not alone place
message erin
(message any of us)
booth committee
we had a meeting!
1:30, sunday, ph a18a
roomba army
seriously upset about tinsel
time travel in conj with the committee to comfort the recsec's computer
beachball sticker for zora's laptop
ad hoc i'm graduating in a week committe
ding dong diploma get
exec get it together
should murphy report from shirts? (yes)
they won't let us print the sweatshirt slogan bc it says "party"
we're gonna vote!
options & votes:
blank 5
seriously ridiculous 0
student friendly, administration approved 6
"come party with the party" in cyrillic 8
come [REDACTED] with the Party 15
we didn't think of a backup slogan 5
not a step back! 0
It's a "good" idea 6
Ironclad Komrades 0
Now with 5% less slogan 2
where bad ideas are good ideas 0
CLEAR WINNER
come [REDACTED] with the party
with the redacted as it is there (caps, in brackets)
runner ups
come party with the party in cyrillic russian
it's a "good idea"
stupid history
"not a step back" is an ACTUAL SOVIET SLOGAN
there was a fight between trotskey and lenin
wikipedia also says it's from a war (probably) where people just kept running away
they needed propaganda to stop the fleeing
more stupid history
there's another slogan that roughly translates to "shut the fuck up"
maybe ad hoc stupid commodities
joe actually did find the resources and did the math
with the current treasury we could probably cover the r7 floor 1.5x over with goldfish
the actual fish
can joe do this calculation for the snack
also just like. the floor. el piso. the place where feet go.
harry did the math for how many bubble tea bubbles could fill a swimming pool
many million
nika calculated the calories in a table filled with candy
if we replaced the plasma in the sun with gerbils we would all die
from FIRE. gerbils are hotter than the sun
(hot damn)
worms' dad measured a bridge in snoots
so if you had that many gerbils
would you have to suspend them and then let them collapse into a gravity heap?
that was not addressed in the calculations
OLD BUSINESS
motion to make the out of order committee
out of order
the Thing!
all the all nighters are not harry's fault
committee for old business calls for the orders of the day
(we have 6)
overly long gags
there is no purpose
marlena: "how did you let this HAPPEN"
motion to make the purpose: how did you let this happen
PASSES
motion to table this discussion for 1 week
PASSES
motion to create a standing rule such that a motion to squid is always in order
PASSES
motion to squid
motion to table the committee not to be sold for one million dollars for one week and 2 minutes
PASSES
the temporary murphy committee: vandilequence
marlena is starting to feel how new people feel again
(welcome back)
(wwwwwagh)
PASSES
$3 to murphy, murphy will chair (not frieder)
tabletop atheism: fuck you and your eldritch ambiance
is this film club
motion to table for seven minutes
fails
motion to change "eldritch" to "elkridge"
passes
motion to table for a week
PASSES
NEW BUSINESS
motion to just take a great big hammer to the table and make those motions just die
dilatory
you need an etherial hammer
redaction boomerang committee: that
dillon drew on the board it's funny you had to be there
this is the latest we've ever made it to new business (it's 5:04)
PASSES
$1 to murpy, marlena will chair
stupid animals that are also commodities: figure out how many things we could cover with gerbils, given the treasury budget
motio to create a cubic lightyear of gerbils
don't do that
maybe it's already happened
CAN'T DISPROVE IT
what's a shortfield
only extant after the gerbil sun collapses
we need a lot of regular gerbils to take the place of the sun
not one SUN SIZED GERBIL
what if we make the suns gerbil sized
go the fuck to sleep joe
PASSES
$3 to harry, gerbils will chair
motion to create a standing rule that whenever someone says "n gerbils" during an auction, gerbils basically means dollars
FAILS
commodity bubble: to have a bubble of gerbils that we just carry around
change purpose to "and what a bubble it could be"
PASSES
misap time travel committee
we popped the bubble
the retroactive time travel committee doesn't untable until february
motion to the left
motion to the right
take it back now y'all
PASSES
$2 to worms, not murphy
motion to make allocation not to exceed $50 for supplies for the event
PASSES
exec get it together committee
zora hands out attendance
everyone is murphy: to figure out who is murphy today
change purpose to "voting on a new murphy each day"
PASSES
change purpose to "surgically constructing ourselves to all be murphy"
NO
motion to make the title be to the tune of "everything is awesome"
PASSES
change name and purpose to "one murphy: one murphy to rule them all, one murphy to find them, one murphy to something and in the darkness bind them
PASSES
this is still to the tune of everything is awesome
PASSES
$1 to erin, michael murphy (but not that one) will chair
commodity lobbyists: to establish an exchange rate of gerbils to dollars in the favor of the large gerbil foundry in north dakota
one murphy committee would like to report SOMETIHNG UPROAROUSLY FUNNY
i did not understand this
shadow corporation
glad to see that check got cached
shadow cabinet wants more money
point of info: gerbils cost bw five and ten dollars
buying a gerbil is cheaper than eating at ali baba
PASSES
$1 to harry, llamas will chair
animals doing people jobs: sound otter
murphy heard "the animals doing people committee"
business cat
cats playing pianos
motion to add business cat to purpose
PASSES
drunk jackels answering all customer service complaints
a guy had a stuffed owl represent him in court
not the onion
it had degrees
otter backpack
see the wikipedia article: list of animals with fraudulant diplomas
don't hire a hyena as a clown for your child's birthday party
a dog got a degree from john's hopkins bc it went to all it's owner's classes
PASSES
$1 to erin, anyone who has been doing a job and replaced themselves with a stuffed animal
last committee that marlena will likely ever make: she has a job
but it's on the southside so this is less sad than it....could be..........
maybe she will also have a job in the dollars sense
motion to salute marlena
WE LOVE YOU MARLENA
(also fuck you marlena)
motion to change name to "marlena abraham memorial committee"
this might be the first one created with Love
and not pun wank
PASSES
$2 to harry, marlena will chair
ANNOUNCEMENTS
EVENT
trivia night
friday 7:00 PH A18A
OTHER EVENT
geek eat WEDS DEC 16
RSVP BY FRIDAY AT MIDNIGHT
exec@cmukgb.org
meeting next week
we have one, it will be short
SCHMUCKS
cmu is hard
if you need support or friendship or cats
hit erin up
nika designed a building!
if you wanna go that thing
it's on monday, probably in maggie mo
time to be announced
open studio night
friday, 5 - 10
CFA floors 2 3 4
free food! free music! come hang out
big hero 6
with skye on thursday! talk to skye
mari has a yearbook
sign it if you're leaving!
she'll be here next semester too
doctoral stuff
talk to glenn!
his defense is on friday!!!!
11am in newell simon 1507
(glenn wagner)
hit worms up if you want someone to make fun of you over break
no but really hang out
if you don't have a place to go for new years, go hang out!!
it's a good time
star wars
machete order!
4 5 2 3 6
1 is optional
it'll happen at times during the week
murphy'll post stuff
come see, esp if you haven't seen star wars already!
dancer's symposium
this weekend
erin is lighting a dance!
it's about a prostitute
pink light
come and seeeeee
christmas
nick is open if you need a place
computer club movie night
tuesday dec 15 9pm in rashid
war games
we are now in purple
