Minutes20160208

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EXEC REPORTS

   mike
       had a weekend
       went to the land of no comics
           (hanover)
           there was one street
           grad school interview!
           some people had a lot of beer
               they might not go back
           flannel ment something else
           
   skye
       had a weekend
       fell on her ass at the event
       then ordered food and played silly games
       THEN ITR (record ass falling)
       also assassins!
           no ass falling yet
           also the KGB meeting is safe
           as is maggie mo right now
   
   dillon
       had a weekend
       walked to an ice rink and fell on his ass twice
           there are photos
       also ran chinese new year for like 13 hours
       EVENT
           bitterness party
           7:00pm friday, PH A18*
           candy, also bitterness
           bring games
   
   erin
       had a weekend
       did some things probably
       was reminded that thermodynamics is still alive and well and exists
       SUBMIT TO PRAVDA
   
   zora
       had a weekend
       fell while skating and TOOK DILLON WITH THEM
       also went to the cult meeting
           don't worry about it
       and then watched star trek for two hours
       that set the tone for the weekend
   
   joe
       had a weekend
       started with skating for the second time ever
           didn't fall on his ass
           was doing it wrong
       was very bad at itr
           but it was very good
       y'all should watch crime films about old white men arguing about justice
           specifically, twelve angry men
   
   murphy
       had a weekend
       I AM THE A-L-E-X-D-E-R oh my god okay
   

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   frieder
       frieder's computer has been on applecare since the summer of 2013
       it's been through a lot
       everything has been replaced
   
   slightly time displaced, excuse me?
       ALEXANDER HAMILTON, MY NAME IS ALEXANDER HAMILTON
   
   misap swear of the week
       fucklamping douchecanoe
   
   "big data"
   
   thermodynamics exists
       coffee gets cold
   
   inside jokes
       jumbo large
   
   retroactive timetravel
       apparently frieder had an event in his calendar
   
   committee for old business
       the retroactive timetravel committee will untable at midnight tonight
       
   point of info
       is it permissable for committees to untable in the old business section
           if we table them in the future
           to be untabled in the past
   
   committee to make mike's life harder
       comics fight
   
   incredible annoyances
       ah yes
       the ducks
   
   assassins
       skye ALMOST bought the ducks that didn't make any noise
       it made the meeting loud
   
   misap assassins
       murphy blew the duck speaker
   
   booth
       builds!! ply cut! ply primed!
       come to booth!
       sat 2 - 5 in the kage
       sun 1:30 - 4:30 also in kage
   
   fonzy
       steven got a really nice leather jacket for xmas
   
   EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA'S FAVORITE FIGHTING FRENCHMEN
       LAFAYETTE
   
   "internet of things"
       "internet of shit"
           "internet of hackable things"
               "internet of internet"
   

OLD BUSINESS

   the Thing!
       claiming his second spirit of the thing is not steven's fault
       
   the committee for old business breathes a sigh of relief

NEW BUSINESS

   the big data commmittee: the internet of things
       motion to walk around with little briefcases and suits and saying things like "business" and "numbers"
           passes
       a lot of the things in the internet of things that are hackable
           i legit can't tell if jane is saying actual things or just rattling off buzzwords
           oh also fire
       you know what really says big data
           when your excel file crashes because it's too big
       emacs
           i didn't understand the rest of the words
       change "internet of things" to "internet of people, places, things, and nouns as a whole"
       you know what really says big data
           math. perl. shared server hogs.
           i'm not data
       in old dreamweaver, if you opened an 8kb file, dreamweaver crashed
           it fucked stuff up
       silicon valley is usung the clouds for big data instead of water
       skye is taking a class in which the machine learning students routinely make the prof's comp crash
       nika made a pomegranite
           and had to make a LOT of seeds
           the pomegrante fucked the processor
           "i- i- i- seeds."
       frieder was trying to set stuff up at a hackathon
           his friend didn't understand python but did understand perl????
   PASSES
   $4 to frieder, anyone who works with big data and frieder will chair
   
   harry peaked in middle school: he took acting lessons and found an extra advertisement. he was accepted. he's credited on the same imdb page as ron jeremy and dustin diamond
       change "acting lessons" to "boxing lessons"
           passes
       change "boxing lessons: to ""boxing lessons""
       point o forder why boxing ring when square
           no
       change to "harry "peaked" in high school"
           passes
           my quotes are not consistent
           suck it cs
       motion to put quotation marks around the whole thing
           passes
       motion to put quotation marks around harry and middle school
           fails
       motion ot change name to "the unicode consortium: every single code point"
           pASSES
       motion to append "the code point for unicode love hotel" to the end
           PASSES
       change "the love hotel" with "u+1f3e9"
   PASSES
   $2 to harry, ron jeremy will chair
   
   wait bryan: revenge
       wait bryan
       change name to "wait steven: berate steven"
           passes
       change purpose to "weighing various stevens"
           passes
       change purpose to "berating various stevens"
           fails
       change all instance of steven to "bryam"
           passes
       harry learns something every day
       wait bryam!
       change bryam with an identical person
           that's not how that works
   PASSES
   $13 to owen, disbanded
   
   bad memes: don't let your memes be dreams
       so you've ALL heard people say memes say "meymeys"
           ed has a coworker who beleaves it's "mem-eys"
       change purpose to "don't let your dremels to mammals"
           passes
       change purpose to "sweet dreams are made fo meymeys"
       change name and purpose to charlie brown noises
           passes
       and then michael got BINGO
           no storytelling commitee
           recind bingo :C
       THAT'S STATISTICS
       what if plinko
       frieder has bingo
           it's the attendance
       report from the storytelling committee
           murphy tells a story
       michael has bingo?
           this is confusing
       kelly has bingo?
       motion to change name to "good fucking question"
           passes
       motion to file a complaint with the bingo board for identical bingo boards
           filed
   PASSES
   $4 to frosty, whoever. anyone. will chair.
   
   kgbingo: to before every meeting, put together a bingo board for five members
       and they can shout it
       they'll get disticnt one
       tim had a class buy a guy called "jim jimbo kenkle"
           they made a HUGE bingo board
           (it was called jimbo)
       change name to "kg-jimbo"
           passes
       worms supports tim's story
           "internet of shit"    "internet of shit"    "internet of shit"
       "internet of shit!""internet of shit!""internet of shit!""internet of shit!"
       there's a kid's school next door
           fuck kids?
       motion to kill the joke
           the joke is now dead
       ear distances?????
   PASSES
   $1 to tim, tim and skye will chiar
   
   chanting things: CHANTING THINGS CHANTING THINGS CHANTING THINGS CHANTING THINGS
       IT'S A GOOD IDEA IT'S A GOOD IDEA IT'S A GOOD IDEA IT'S A GOOD IDEA
       stop asking abou tthe number 7...
       down with communism! down with communism!
       if you're standing on the stage with a mic and say the same thing a bunch of times, eventually the audience will do it
       steven gregorian chants USA USA
       "ice, ice, icicle. bike, bike, bicycle. Test, test, testing 1, 2, 3"
       motion to pass this by aclimation motion to pass this by aclimation motion to pass this by aclimation motion to....
   FAILS
   
   you could vote for this committee five or six times...or just once
   
   welcome to hell: to collect literally everyone who said this to kelly after she watched an anime last week
       was it madoka?
           YES
       welcome to hell
       harry also watched his first anime
           "i don't understand what my husband is saying"
       murphy relistened to hamilton and then BOTH mike and zora messaged him "welcome to hell"
       adhoc storytime
           owen and steven were in donner
           they let them come up with the chants
               steven's
                   "we're not stopping...we're not stopping...we're not stopping..."
                   and then steven wouldnt stop
               owen's
                   everyone would point and laugh
                   and then tehy would all stop at the same time and stare
       welcome to hell, steven says, having never been to hell
           most of us are going to hell
       owen at the friendmaking competition: "i'm not here to make friends"
       go to steven
           we are now in steven
   PASSES
   $6 to erin, anyone who just said "whelp" after their first anime will chair
   
   motion to make an allocation not to exceed $60 for supplies for the event
       PASSES
   
   real political procedure: to highlight political procedures that are so bad, you'd think it was a kgb meeting
       there's no analogue to the filabuster in the japanese system
           instead, if you want a vote to take forever, you just walk ver, very slowly to the ballot box
       they just banned sodomy in michigan
           even though it's unconstitutional
           the person just DOESN'T give a fuck
       steven: [REDACTED]
       owen has to recover from steven's joke
       last week, in the house of commons, someone just walked down and starting to read
           without calling a filabuster
       a guy almost got beaten to death after a THREE DAY SPEECH
       frieder is filabustering, and
       harry: [REDACTED]
       my minutes are kinkshaming the kgb
       the kgb as an org does not support kinkshaming
           that's what the k stands for
       the chair would entertain a motion to retract steven as our official spokesperson
           passes????
           he's surprised it took us this long
       bye anna
   PASSES
   $1 to frieder, the first person to convince mike to let him sit down (murphy) will chair

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       bitterness party
           come play games
           we bitter
               on most days
           we'll bring candy!
           you bring games
       ctfws
           the 19th!
           if you're interested in judging, email exec@cmukgb.org
           also skye wants to paint the fence
               pls also email
           rules meeting
               tonight, 8pm, weh 8329 (judges room)
   
   artemis?
       talk to skye
       starship simulator
       harry's excited
   
   nomcom
       email us!
       you cna't be running in any elections
       and you have to be a dues paying member
       it involves running the elections
           we'll get you the info

SCHMUCKS

   apparently kgb exec got dates???
       somehting about the bitterness potty
       idk i was laughing about potty
   
   the boston accent has gone airborn
       meet bryan in his bioliguistics bunker
   
   michael has started a cult
       owen's interested
       talk to michael
   
   [REDACTED]
   
   kgbingo
       talk to skye

we are now in purple