Minutes20160314
From KGB Wiki
OFFICER REPORTS
Mike
had a break
went home
much food
went to johns hopkins
more food
Skye
is joe
had a break. didn't involve shooting mike, which was a real change of pace
Dillon
had a break
book packing
lots of anime
an escape room
EVENT
KGB Pajama Party
Friday, 7pm, PH 225*
wear pajama. bring board game. bring blanket. soft.
Erin
had a spring break
(suddenly people?)
went to 7 different coffee shops with her mom
spring break woohoo
Zora
had a break
SO MANY BOOKS
so many shipped.
shout out to MVP Darryl at the Squill post office for dealing with all our shit
BACK TO SKYE
had a break
slept in dc
not much
don't throw money at her
Joe
is skye
had a break
slept in dc
not much
don't throw money at her
is joe
had a break yelled at people about how they were doing robots wrong
then was the personal chef for his family for the week
apparently he's cabbage
Murphy
had a break
spent spring break in las vegas
with his parents
every night, after they went to bed he would sneak out and...
just sorta wander. for a while. just see the lights.
COMMITTEE REPORTS
swear of the week
WANKPUFFIN
murphy drunktexts frieder
activity, but not as much as you would expect
parody of a vlogbrothers video
IT DID NOT WORK
BOOTH
carnival is coming up
time to start building booth MORE
please come paint
no like actually just apply color to a thing
look at old minutes for times!
ad hoc sending pictures of themselves from a distance
almost murphy
but then he turned around
om nom nom committee
reminder
gotta pay dues before the meeting on april 11th! and then. attend that meeting.
nominations close on the 11th
nominations
dylan vrana for pres
harry fernandez for pres
joe for 2vp
harry for corsec
harry for recsec
skye for 1vp
nathan for s@a
harry for s@a
espy for s@a
do you pledge to support the republican nominee for president, no matter who they are?
no comment
literally going insane metaphorically
frieder walked by someone he'd had a class with
he CANNOT figure out what class it was
kgb rifle assoc in cong iwth gay communist gun club
zombies starts on sunday at 7!
to sign up, go to zombies.cmukgb.org
also nerf war on friday
the committee to assassinate the president fukcing WRECKED mike
tho murphy killed all of them so
impass?
ais are conquering all of us in conj combinatorial game theory
an AI has learned how to play go and beating one of the top go players
we're fucked
joe's pumped
shit jokes in conj with time travel
apologizes
shit jokes
what happnes when you try to shave a sheep that's wearing armour
shear destruction
in response:
WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMPPPPP
committee to not end on that note
b flat
OLD BUSINESS
the Thing!
lack of tabling is not espy's fault this week
committee for old business
nyeh
NEW BUSINESS
procedurally generated shit jokse: what would you call a standard disobeying? a regulation insubordination
what do you mean by procedurally generated?
thank you for asking
there's a twitterbot
@eventhenotion
has it told the best joke three times?
assorted laughter
i don't get it
PASSES
$1 to kelly, kelly and the bot will chair
humans vs philasophical zombies: a campus urban game about the dif between quanta and qualia
they gon' host it
wake up sheeple and you can win
does this game involve nerf guns
probably
imagine you had someone who knew every fact about being shot with a nerf gun
if you shot them, would they learn something new?
imagine you had someone who knew every fact about being shot with a nerf gun
wouldn't that person be greater if they actually existed?
why this
so if you consider machine nerf guns to be the greatest of all nerf guns
then trivially they must exist or else how we would know
i'm gonna punch every philosopher
not hard just
just hard enough to make them annoyed
what about the nerf gun that shoots better nerf guns
ad hoc sell your automata committee approves
annnnnd i lost the plot
PASSES
$1 to murphy, anyone who violently and by force rejects cartesian dualism
(mike's hand is just comfortable like this)
ungoogleable science words: to celebrate all science words that are the same as other words so no matter how much you google you'll never get what you want
cleavage
unrelated: fun game:
find a phrase, out of quotes, that will only give you one google result
latex fucks you up
and then you drop out
ad hoc detexify committee
once someone drew an infinity symbol and it thought it was the batman symbol
motion to replace the infinity symbol with the batman sybol
so moved
the most famous craig morey on the internet is a professional nude photographer
joe's friend from high school,
nerdiest dude you'll ever meet, including you fuckers
he shares a name with a famous ww2 general
nick shares a name with a kid who was kidnapped from canada
they became convinced that their parents had kidnapped them
nude photographer question: is the photographer nude, or the people, or both?
i mean he COULD be nude, we don't see him
there's a photographer in ny who will create small outfits for genitals
and then. photograph them.
she's very serious about it
tim found a news story out of OK that he had just be murdered
or at least someone with his nae
it was fuckin weird
on the photographer:
she would sensor the actual genital bits
so it was just the outfits in crisp detail and then blurs
the website is named dicture gallery
nika found...another website
frieder got hella stereotyped for being a flute player in high school
PASSES
$5 to erin, anyone who can't google stuff will chair
the thing takes a vacation: to report from and collect the various locations the thing has visited
motion to ammend "and also take funny pictures of the thing in various places"
passes
hey maybe send those to pravda and it'll be cute
motion to also append "and put the thing in funny little outfits"
passes
motion to task this committee to make a Thing that's bigger and then put it on dippy
we can't. actually do that.
also it doesn't exist yet
tim's great aunt told a story about college hooligans at pitt who decided that it would be really funny if dippy laid an egg
they made the egg out of concrete
and then realized that concrete is really fuckin heavy
the egg never left their porch
PASSES
$2 to ed, ed will chair
dippy exhibitions committee: to come up with 2-week installations to put near dippy
just switch the fence and dippy
(dippy is the statue by the library)
jailer's fedoras
misap people who like knitting stuff
knit a sweater for dippy!
dippy's been yarnbombed with a tartan
a coat of paint
vandalism!
a massive coat that HAS BEEN painted
a massive coat made of paing
probably still vandalism
a real diplodocus
a bunch of feathers
a concrete egg
ad hoc things near dippy
a day before break, harry and friends were walking back to the res
some drunk girls got their car stuck in the museum parking lot and asked them for help
so harry and friends found the help button
THIS GOT ILLEGAL I'M DONE
precollege kids fucked up y'all
one of the girls attempted to give a lap dance to the gallileo statue
fell off
broke her arm
(collective oooooooh)
worms' freshman year
dippy was homecoming queen
they put a tiara on dippy
a regular sized one
there was a camera that gave dippy a closeup!
brian's dad: "is that dinosaur always THERE?"
brian & his mom: "OF COURSE NOT, it has to walk around and drink!"
the brontosaurus is a DWARF dinosaur
PASSES
$1 to skye, skye and anyone else who wants to participate will chair
motion to allocate $50 for supplies for the event
PASSES
the taskmaster committee: to sailor moon antagonist-style collect the energy when someone gives a committee a task and they never do it
change name to "tastemaster committee"
change purpose to "to sailor moon antagonist-style collect the energy when people get a new meme and don't laugh"
if this committee doesn't absorb any energy, how long until it absorbs itself
harry's nephew started posting memes from 3 years ago in spanish on facebook
TED CRUZ ES EL ASESINO DEL ZODIACO
PASSES
$6 to maddy, owen will chair
glad i don't live there anymore: yeah that
so tim got a message from a former roommate, who got another message from somewhere else
"I'm pretty sure your old apartment's on fire?"
change purpose "lighting your old apartment on fire just because you can"
uh, you CAN'T
FAILS
misap committee to burn down r7 is even more misap than usual
that weird hack you just thought of is called insurance fraud
we know about it
it's illegal
reference frame joke
dylan lived in SAE house
the thing he remembers most strongly is the 2 or 3 week period when the bathroom had a fly problem
and then it had a moldy vinegar problem
don't live there
maddy once started a fly fighting competition
she got really good at catching them in her hands
egladdin once caught all the flies in valhalla and LINED THEM UP ON THUMBTACKS ON THE COUNTER
the seoulmart building dropped its ceiling on owen and chris
tthere's a gameshow where they have flies fight bigger animals
the tale of worms and the frat house
there was. a weird smell.
they had left bbq sauce
soy sauce
and raw sugar
just, out. in the kitchen. with the heat on 85 degrees
HORRIFYING
brian's freshman year, in the "nice" freshman dorm
housing did not remove the trash from the trash closet until NOVEMBER
hot damn
frieder lived in the brothel
there were mice in his closet
skye lived in donner
really, that's it
PASSES
$1 to frieder, he and the mouse will chair
ANNOUNCEMENTS
EVENT
KGB Pajama Party
Friday, 7pm, PH 225*
like GBGC but with pillow forts!
bring pillows and board games!
bylaws amendment meeting
we're trying to update section 9!
the current text is on the facebook page
we're going to discuss it at exec this week
if you have suggestions, etc, please come!
4:30 weds UC 306
also you can email us and stuff!
zombies
starts on sunday
ctfws rules
tonight, 8pm, judges room
discussing rules changes for next semester!
also contact joe
nomcom
if you wanna vote
pay your dues before the meeting on april 11, and then go to it
SCHMUCKS
don't reply all to the cs payroll dlist
talk to zora to get your book!
puzzlehunt is march 26
sign up at puzzlhunt.club
expii content writing!
expii.com
it's like wikipedia meets textbooks meets actually learning
they'll pay you
email michelle@expii.com if you're interested
