Minutes20160418
From KGB Wiki
EXEC REPORTS
Mike
had a weekend
had a week
had a year
had a THREE YEARS
(snaps)
it's been great
they're honored
they have notes
it's been great to be a part of this
really excited about where they see the org going
it was a lot of fun but a lot of work but ultimately worth it
Skye
had a weekend
had a year
fuck what she did WE WON BOOTH
Dillon
had a weekend sure did
did booth and buggy and oh god so much more
also had a wonderful three years with you people
EVENT
Bake barter!
Friday, ALL DAY (10-5), Doherty table
bring baked goods to barter! there will be a signup sheet!
bring stuff to barter for baked goods! no signup sheet here
but for reals bring your crap
no pencils, paper, perishables, or sheet metal
USA
friday, 7pm, DH2315
buy people's stuff for cheap!
Erin
had a weekend and a year
and another two years of not being an officer
it's been fun!
y'all actually submitted to pravda a couple times
we got junk mail
don't submit pravda to her
Zora
had a weekend and a year
a three years
let's start with the weekend
booth
also scary amounts of food after booth
as for the three years:
i couldn't have done half of what i have this year w/o the experience kgb has given me
so thank y'all so much for that
you've made me into a tyrant
Joe
had a weekend and a year
done some things
kept some pretty meticulous records
is currently scrambling to prove that there's a really low upper bound on how much he's embezzled
we took in 66 kgbitcoin this semester
really really good
not worth anything
Murphy
had a carnival
it was carnival stuff
booth!
r7!
fucked with kickstarter
watched some curling
teardown was fun in a masochistic way
not a sadistic way
that would be weird
had a fantastic year
s@a is one of his fave memories from college
COMMITTEE REPORTS
BOOTH
booooooooooooooooooooooooth
if you have hard hats please give them to craig
he has a bag
everything happened
we won
we didn't get fined
we were within 8 minutes and then they added TWO HOURS TO THE DEADLINE
retroactive timetravel
worms fucked up
he was the downtiem
your decisions today were...interesting
abtech
1: putting a lot of music turns a ceremony into a party
2: there was no truck
CHALLENGE
motion ot disband aepi
an artist on octodad liked our booth!
the committee to burn down r7
continued lack of failure
is this film club?
OLD BUSINESS
the Thing!
nightmare screws are not sonia's fault this week
we are now in purple
ELECTIONS
elections have started so technically i'm not recsec anymore but i'm keeping track out of the GOODNESS OF MY HEART
PRESIDENT
candidates:
skye
loves the kgb
there's a lot to being president
but you should never pass up a chance to laugh at this face
it's v important that people feel comfortable
joe
did treasurer this past year
really cares about the org
has a lightup hat
didn't embezzle much
murphy
really cares about the org
wanted to be on exec this year to contribute
now wants to step up
will...definitely have the time
harry
is a freshman so won't be president
wanted to make a speech like he was gonna be president
is also running for another position that he cares about
you'll see him in a bit
SKYE WINS
1 VEEP
candidates
dylan
is really sleep deprived because booth and essay exam
1vp = yelling at people until they come to events
until they get embarassed on his behalf
he was a booth chair. he has experience
joe
hi he's the kgb, who are you?
thinks we're all cool except worms
is engendering a spirit of fellowship and harmony among members
i typed that right, he quoted it wrong
murphy
platform is the same as it was last year
the university seems to think he's the VP of student affairs
so he knows what it's like to be a VP
DYLAN WINS
2 VEEP
candidates
murphy
this is what we call the slightly shorter con
this is the position he wants!
much experience running things
and with money and reimbursements
cares about the KGB
joe
is here to pretend we have we have a democratic process
and help us thingk we haven't already decided to relegate him to treasurer for 7 years
MURPHY WINS
CORSEC
candidates
maddy
booth chaired
made all the tshirts
designed the activity book
(can make many tiny things in large quantities)
has unlimited free color printing
rin
really really likes the kgb
writes and is an officer for read me
is very funny
if we elect her we won't have to listen to her stumble through another awkward speech today
RIN WINS
RECSEC
candidates
nika
met the kgb at scav hunt
first community that she feels she belongs to
wants to do something for us, and she can type
harry
brought in the keyboard that could be the typing machine of the future
and then he pulled the broman lounge
kind of a good typist, knows his way around emojis
HARRY WINS
TREASURER
candidates
Jack
Jack votes for joe maybe???
Joe
Joe has confidence that's good
He definitely does not embezzle
He didn't embezzle the $82 he should have embezzled
JOE WINS
S@A
candidates
Nika
They will quote "cut a bitch" and have many knives
Can also sell shirts
Jack
Will redistribute the wealth
Cliff
Will get things done fast
Did not platform
Can pick things up and put them down
Cliff picked up a stool
The stool made it to the ground
Espy
Was not here
NIKA WINS
stories
brian:
we don't know anything about skye's campaign finances
frieder
frieder tried to disband the kgb at aepi
they failed
someone messaged skye to ask if that was a thing
nick
so carnival was this weekend and they work retail
so many drunk. so many.
two drunk girls managed to make their way into the back room and were sick in the dumpster
not a great middle of the day
mike
owen is nice
harry
1: his platform was rainbow colored
2: harry brought friends in full fursuits to greggo's concepts lecture
greggo made a Face
bswolf (he old)
when he was in kgb someone made a pun committee
which was immediately renamed the bswolf memorial committee
here we go
there's a smart tactician and a fool tactician (with barbarians)
the smart tactician got wrecked
here goes the pun
"cooler heads shall prevail"
check murphy's page on the wiki
erin
two of you fuckers have her scissors
walks off midway at 3:30 on thursday, very tired
suddenly, meg and joe mertz SPRINT out of the trailer yelling for ems
ems is suitably alarmed
there are two INCREDIBLY intoxicated people stumbling across midway
by the time ems gets there, the people have left midway
but the midway ems couldn't leave midway
eventually other ems caught up with them
apparently 3:30 is lsd time
worms
was once a boy scout
once there was a time when worms was small
went on a HIGH ADVENTURE
aka mostly sitting on a boat for a week
the captain: you wanna catch some sharks"
the kids: ABSOLUTELY WHY NOT
they caught some sharks
28 inch shark FLAILS
captian chuckles
boy scouts try to catch the shark to measure it
40 inch shark
one boy: holding shark by tail
skark: SWINGING LIKE A PENDULUM
they won the shark fight
reward: plastic paddle (first shark size)
was immediately broken
skye
setting: 2008, TOC.
the liemann brothers had a booth
they had just gone bankrupt, but the booth was still there
some kgb members thought this was a great idea
best suits, fake glasses, looked like dicks
they collected resumes for the FULL DAY
a few days later, one of them was approached by a student
"hey. i didn't hear from you. i expected an interview"
so they HELD INTERVIEWS
they chose who to interview by chucking the resumes backwards down the stairs
FAST FORWARD
two kgb adjacents pretended to be occulus
they did great
the university freaked out
occulus thought it was hilarious
and now one of those people works for occulus AND TABLED FOR THEM WHILE STILL A STUDENT
glenn
remember: he's very good at understanding emotions
glenn is a pilot, learned to fly during undergrad
flew towards death valley (he was already in california)
got to fly over a huge dry lake bed
flew over, got brunch, refueled, took off
but the plane was making funny noises
had to divert to a lake that would be in the middle of nowhere if it wasn't stuck between two restricted zones
a mechanic looked at it, but it was fine
buuuuut it was dark so they couldn't fly back (but someone brought them home)
this is when glenn learned that, when you're trying to reassure a passenger about a problem they don't know about
DON'T start by pointing out all the nice dry lakebeds they could use as landing spots
joe
bylaws edgecase
There is a week where there are no exec members since they haven't attended their first meeting after paying (can we fix that)
Joe STILL hasn't embezzled
Frieder
He's gonna make the bylaws hell
We accidentally the bylaws
There's an infinite loop with voting at elections
beeswolf
Was the secret 8th exec member (THERE ARE MORE EXEC POSSIBILITIES???)
High school friend named Faith named kids Hope & Chance
They like nouns but not sharing
NEW BUSINESS
Motion to salute exec from Jeff
Ed motioned to make the shitty jpeg artifacts committee
Worms wants to know where our attack helicopters are
Ed motions to salute all current and former presidents in the room
Someone motioned to salute everyone else
That passed
Sold to Ed for $3 to the proctors
Brian maybe made a motion?
It passed
BSwolf has a job committee
It passed
Bswolf bought it for $21 to alumni
motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for food and supplies for the event
It was not acclamated
It passed tho
motion to make an allocation not to exceed $500 for the exec discretionary fund
passed by acclamation
Joe motions to set dues to $15 for one semester $20 for one year
passed by acclamation
Joe report
we didn't lose a lot of money
We spent like $400 and got clothes
We have ~$3000 for next year
66 kgbitcoins a lot of pennies and a fake $100 bill
The KGB has no owencoin
The KGB was given 5 owencoin
Erin motioned to get her scissors back
Frieder invokes article 13 of the bylaws
disillusion!
also out of order
ANNOUNCEMENTS
EVENT
Bake barter
friday, all day, table outside doherty
bake things, trade things, be merry
USA
friday, 7pm, DH 2315
auction party
Murphy goes down (This will live on)
BOOTH
Bring hard hats to the booth committee
We stole lumber
EXEC
meeting at wednesday 6:30 UC306
stay here
SCHMUCKS
Bswolf is finishing his story
hope give chance a peace
Owen is clustering in gates 3000
get rid of the things
Proctors say thank you
Brian wants to keep up enboothiasm
help him collabs
Nick is a student again :D
Give back pens
Mari has a yearbook
