Minutes20230904
MEETING 9/4
OFFICER REPORTS
Kevin: Went to a day party, strange experience
Avalon: massive nerd, played D&D today
NEW PEOPLE!!!
manny, he/him, first year, econ major, in mudge
zach, he/him, first year, international relations & political science, hates saying full major title, wearing a white shirt right now
martine, he/him, first year, IS major, 6’ tall
jenny, she/her, first year, creative writing, not bald
tucker, he/him, ece, normal amount of uninteresting things abt
maeryll, they/them, meche, can name three fun facts about self, won’t
Howard: went to do some mooncake making, played drinking games with water, drank a lot of water, 4L
Nick: drafted emails, did other things, including make pravda, can announce with disappointment that none of you submitted to pravdam to email, discord, uk phone #
Julia: did many boring things, attendance
Theo: made rice in an instant pot, did not bring umbrella
Daniel: bought groceries, played splatoon, has all of hw to do still, requesting a report from 2VP about event
Howard: the UG Tour, we don’t go underground, go around campus, Friday 6 pm at black chairs
COMMITTEE REPORTS
Avalon: animal facts: humans are animals, most humans are capable of rizz, therefore Kevin
Nick: facts: did you know that some facts are true and some are not
Anthony: misappropriated plants committee: did misappropriate a new member, who admits to being a plant
Theo: lanternfly extermination: exec with own eyes saw Avalon kill a lanternfly
Nick: mealblock: price of mealblocks is at 6.50$
Julia: corn: 4.64
Theo: one mealblock is 1.4 bushels of corn
Izzy: animal facts: this is a strawberry squid
OLD BUSINESS
Order of the day committee with purpose to be tabled until next week
Motion to table for 1 week
Anthony motion to append the entire bee movie script to the purpose
Anthony: changed to the first 69 words of the bee movie
“According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!”
Passed, been amended
Theo: motion to table for 1 week
Passed, been tabled for 1 week
NEW BUSINESS
Daniel: motion to create the fail the next standing rule committee “to fail the next standing rule”
Howard: how do you define the next standing rule
Passed, sold to Anthony for $6.50, chaired by the next standing rule proposed
Julia: motion to create a standing rule such that you can create a hopping on one foot rule, which is exactly identical to a standing rule other than that it applies every other meeting, starting with the meeting on which it was proposed, in which it
Failed
Nick: motion to #define “signholder” as “Robert”
Passed
Anthony: motion to #define “animal facts”, “thank you for subscribing to animal facts, did you know”
Kiera: motion to amend such that inside the replacement string, such that it contains “animal[non-breaking space]facts”
Howard: can I unsubscribe?
Aresh: animal facts is not subject to GDPR
Passed, “animal facts” #defined to “thank you for subscribing to animal[non-breaking space]facts, did you know”
Nick: motion to request a report from the president regarding the nature of rizz
Kevin: rizz is short for charisma
Daniel: motion for the KGB to apply to join the EU
(Dilatory)
Jonathan: motion to start a coup (ill-defined)
Javier: does the president get presidential powers
Nick: does president get presidential rizz
Anthony: chain of command
Izzy: motion to eject the chair
Jonathan: motion to amend the motion such that if the president is ejected from the meeting, charles will lead the meeting
Failed, due to Kevin’s Tyranny
Dana: Motion to take a titty skittle
Avalon: motion to #define standing on the ceiling as “having your shoes on the ceiling” (unseconded)
Howard: motion to create a standing rule such that if during the voting portion of a motion, the chair makes unreasonable demands, he must spend 2 minutes in the corner of shame.
Howard: if a reasonable number of dissenting voices are heard
Nick: motion to amend that the method for determining if the demands are unreasonable is a majority grumble from exec.
Avalon: motion to amend from exec to from the general body (withdrawn)
Aresh: motion to amend such that grumbles are accompanied by an easily countable hand gesture
Anthony: motion to amend such that hand sign is [flipping the bird]
Julia: motion to amend such that the hand sign is [a dab]
(unfriendly, pursued)
(many remarks as to this idea)
Amendment failed, there will be no dabbing
Sam: motion to make the hand gesture [pinky raised with one hand] unfriendly
Howard: gesture is [shrug with arms extended in air]
motion to create a standing rule such that if during the voting portion of a motion, the chair makes unreasonable demands, as determined by a majority grumble accompanied by [shrug with arms extended in air] from exec, he must spend 2 minutes in the corner of shame.
Theo: motion to create a standing rule such that on meetings where the day number in the day “it’s a good idea” is #defined to “its a bad idea”
and “it’s a bad idea” is #defined to “it’s a good idea”
Nick: motion to amend such that “good idea” and “bad idea” are inverted on prime number days
Failed
Aresh: motion to do exactly nothing such that we can eject Kevin via the voting portion of the motion (Dilatory)
Nick: motion to create the committee committee with the purpose of committeeing (motion withdrawn)
Avalon: motion to create the Kevin’s ponytail committee with purpose: “making kevin put his hair in a ponytail at the beginning of meeting”
Passed, sold for 4$ to Anthony, chaired by “Kevin’s Ponytail”
REAL & RELEVANT ANNOUNCEMENTS
exec meetings are 4:15 on sundays, plan events, if you’re interested in the planning process come to UC 306
Howard: we have an event, the UG tour, this friday 6 pm, black chairs
Charles: how many hotdogs will be at this event
Howard: none, burgers
Dana: get grill so we don’t have to burn pallets
Kevin: we are a booth org, booth is a spring carnival tradition where many orgs will build a wooden shack during carnival, take a break from classes (and sleep, and get redbull)
Kevin: we have made a booth chair interest form, booth chairs help design the booth, lead booth builds, manage booth builders, google form will be posted to discord later today
Theo: we have dues, they are part of how we fund the org, 15$/sem, 25/year, 69/sec, if you’re interested in paying dues talk to me, need to be dues paying member, get 5$ off shirts
Kevin: booth shirts 20$, 5$ off if you’re a dues-paying member
Dana: for new people, you do not need to pay dues to come to most events
Kevin: only one event you need to sign up for,
SCHMUCKS
Anthony: still has song
Theo: if people want succulents, message me at thesaurus.com on discord
Avalon: CMU democrats meet n greet on Thursday
Izzy: happy Rosh Hashannah to those who Celebrate
Nick: Rocket club, engineers, hobbyist engineers, if you like creative or technical writing we would also love to have you, have to write 200 page reports, look us up on tartan connect
Charles: are you a belgian or do you know a belgian? Contact me at chood@andrew.cmu.edu
