Difference between revisions of "Minutes20151207"

Latest revision as of 17:05, 22 April 2016

EXEC REPORTS

   Mike
       had a weekend
       stayed up really late for no reason
           don't make their choices
       
   Skye
       had a weekend
       started AND FINISHED 22 pages on the american dream
           which has become the american nightmare
       don't take a class called capitalism
   
   Dillon
       had a weekend
       starting sunday, has something that requires at least three hours of work each day until NEXT sunday
       EVENT
           trivia
       OTHER EVENT
           geek eat
           WEDNESDAY DEC 16
           cheesecake factory
           don't know the exact time yet (somewhere from 5 to 7 eating time)
               we'd leave an hour before (between 4 and 6)
           MAKE SURE TO RSVP TO EXEC@CMUKGB.ORG BY THE END OF THE EVENT (i.e. midnightish)
   
   Erin
       had a weekend
       her capstone group lied to her for the last time
           not bc she murdered them, bc she turned in the report
       begin hellweek anyway!
       no pravda bc capstone team
   
   Zora
       had a weekend
       wrote 300 words of a 4k paper due tomorrow
           so that's great
       got LITERALLY 10000 POSTCARDS
           VERY HEAVY
   
   Joe
       had a weekend
       but let's not talk about that
       also kudos to harry for hardcore email chops
           we just got worms too (only bc he's gonna forget)
       joe is gaining facial hair
           less is going to the horribe monopoly that is razor blades
           more may be going to the horrible monopoly that is l'oreal
           (he mustache himself if the savings are worth it)
           I TYPED THIS ONE OUT BC CAPITALISM JOKES
           
   Murphy
       had a weekend
       far more emotions than usual
           by which he means like two
       murphy's family is just much better than the rest of the world at charades
       the memphis hill beatles cover gave him Emotions. EMOTIONS.
       oh my god he also got emotions'd by star trek
           CRIED
       [leaves to get napkins for mike's disaster]

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   i have a job committee: marlena has one!
       someone teach her ochem
   
   cmu is hard
       this is the last week of classes
       deadlines are coming up
       finals are coming up
       if you need someone to talk to
           cats to hug
           stuffed animals
           to work in a not alone place
       message erin
           (message any of us)
       
   booth committee
       we had a meeting!
       1:30, sunday, ph a18a
   
   roomba army
       seriously upset about tinsel
   
   time travel in conj with the committee to comfort the recsec's computer
       beachball sticker for zora's laptop
   
   ad hoc i'm graduating in a week committe
       ding dong diploma get
       
   exec get it together
       should murphy report from shirts? (yes)
       they won't let us print the sweatshirt slogan bc it says "party"
       we're gonna vote!
       options & votes:
           blank                                       5
           seriously ridiculous                        0
           student friendly, administration approved   6
           "come party with the party" in cyrillic     8
           come [REDACTED] with the Party              15
           we didn't think of a backup slogan          5
           not a step back!                            0
           It's a "good" idea                          6
           Ironclad Komrades                           0
           Now with 5% less slogan                     2
           where bad ideas are good ideas              0
       CLEAR WINNER
           come [REDACTED] with the party
               with the redacted as it is there (caps, in brackets)
       runner ups
           come party with the party in cyrillic russian
           it's a "good idea"
   
   stupid history
       "not a step back" is an ACTUAL SOVIET SLOGAN
       there was a fight between trotskey and lenin
       wikipedia also says it's from a war (probably) where people just kept running away
           they needed propaganda to stop the fleeing
   
   more stupid history
       there's another slogan that roughly translates to "shut the fuck up"
   
   maybe ad hoc stupid commodities
       joe actually did find the resources and did the math
       with the current treasury we could probably cover the r7 floor 1.5x over with goldfish
           the actual fish
           can joe do this calculation for the snack
           also just like. the floor. el piso. the place where feet go.
       harry did the math for how many bubble tea bubbles could fill a swimming pool
           many million
       nika calculated the calories in a table filled with candy
       if we replaced the plasma in the sun with gerbils we would all die
           from FIRE. gerbils are hotter than the sun
           (hot damn)
       worms' dad measured a bridge in snoots
       so if you had that many gerbils
           would you have to suspend them and then let them collapse into a gravity heap?
           that was not addressed in the calculations
   

OLD BUSINESS

   motion to make the out of order committee
       out of order
   
   the Thing!
       all the all nighters are not harry's fault
   
   committee for old business calls for the orders of the day
       (we have 6)
   
   overly long gags
       there is no purpose
       marlena: "how did you let this HAPPEN"
       motion to make the purpose: how did you let this happen
           PASSES
       motion to table this discussion for 1 week
           PASSES
   
   motion to create a standing rule such that a motion to squid is always in order
   PASSES
   
   motion to squid
   
   motion to table the committee not to be sold for one million dollars for one week and 2 minutes
       PASSES
   
   the temporary murphy committee: vandilequence
       marlena is starting to feel how new people feel again
           (welcome back)
           (wwwwwagh)
   PASSES
   $3 to murphy, murphy will chair (not frieder)
   
   tabletop atheism: fuck you and your eldritch ambiance
       is this film club
       motion to table for seven minutes
           fails
       motion to change "eldritch" to "elkridge"
           passes
       motion to table for a week
           PASSES

NEW BUSINESS

   motion to just take a great big hammer to the table and make those motions just die
       dilatory
       you need an etherial hammer
   
   redaction boomerang committee: that
       dillon drew on the board it's funny you had to be there
       this is the latest we've ever made it to new business (it's 5:04)
   PASSES
   $1 to murpy, marlena will chair
   
   stupid animals that are also commodities: figure out how many things we could cover with gerbils, given the treasury budget
       motio to create a cubic lightyear of gerbils
           don't do that
           maybe it's already happened
               CAN'T DISPROVE IT
       what's a shortfield
           only extant after the gerbil sun collapses
       we need a lot of regular gerbils to take the place of the sun
           not one SUN SIZED GERBIL
       what if we make the suns gerbil sized
           go the fuck to sleep joe
   PASSES
   $3 to harry, gerbils will chair
   
   motion to create a standing rule that whenever someone says "n gerbils" during an auction, gerbils basically means dollars
       FAILS
   
   commodity bubble: to have a bubble of gerbils that we just carry around
       change purpose to "and what a bubble it could be"
           PASSES
       misap time travel committee
           we popped the bubble
       the retroactive time travel committee doesn't untable until february
       motion to the left
           motion to the right
           take it back now y'all
   PASSES
   $2 to worms, not murphy
   
   motion to make allocation not to exceed $50 for supplies for the event
       PASSES
   
   exec get it together committee
       zora hands out attendance
   
   everyone is murphy: to figure out who is murphy today
       change purpose to "voting on a new murphy each day"
           PASSES
       change purpose to "surgically constructing ourselves to all be murphy"
           NO
       motion to make the title be to the tune of "everything is awesome"
           PASSES
       change name and purpose to "one murphy: one murphy to rule them all, one murphy to find them, one murphy to something and in the darkness bind them
           PASSES
           this is still to the tune of everything is awesome
   PASSES
   $1 to erin, michael murphy (but not that one) will chair
   
   commodity lobbyists: to establish an exchange rate of gerbils to dollars in the favor of the large gerbil foundry in north dakota
       one murphy committee would like to report SOMETIHNG UPROAROUSLY FUNNY
           i did not understand this
       shadow corporation
           glad to see that check got cached
       shadow cabinet wants more money
       point of info: gerbils cost bw five and ten dollars
           buying a gerbil is cheaper than eating at ali baba
   PASSES
   $1 to harry, llamas will chair
   
   animals doing people jobs: sound otter
       murphy heard "the animals doing people committee"
       business cat
       cats playing pianos
       motion to add business cat to purpose
           PASSES
       drunk jackels answering all customer service complaints
       a guy had a stuffed owl represent him in court
           not the onion
           it had degrees
       otter backpack
       see the wikipedia article: list of animals with fraudulant diplomas
       don't hire a hyena as a clown for your child's birthday party
       a dog got a degree from john's hopkins bc it went to all it's owner's classes
   PASSES
   $1 to erin, anyone who has been doing a job and replaced themselves with a stuffed animal
   
   last committee that marlena will likely ever make: she has a job
       but it's on the southside so this is less sad than it....could be..........
       maybe she will also have a job in the dollars sense
       motion to salute marlena
           WE LOVE YOU MARLENA
               (also fuck you marlena)
       motion to change name to "marlena abraham memorial committee"
           this might be the first one created with Love
           and not pun wank
           PASSES
       $2 to harry, marlena will chair

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       trivia night
       friday 7:00 PH A18A
   
   OTHER EVENT
       geek eat WEDS DEC 16
       RSVP BY FRIDAY AT MIDNIGHT
           exec@cmukgb.org
   
   meeting next week
       we have one, it will be short

SCHMUCKS

   cmu is hard
       if you need support or friendship or cats
       hit erin up
   
   nika designed a building!
       if you wanna go that thing
       it's on monday, probably in maggie mo
       time to be announced
   
   open studio night
       friday, 5 - 10
       CFA floors 2 3 4
       free food! free music! come hang out
   
   big hero 6
       with skye on thursday! talk to skye
   
   mari has a yearbook
       sign it if you're leaving!
       she'll be here next semester too
   
   doctoral stuff
       talk to glenn!
       his defense is on friday!!!!
           11am in newell simon 1507
       (glenn wagner)
   
   hit worms up if you want someone to make fun of you over break
       no but really hang out
       if you don't have a place to go for new years, go hang out!!
       it's a good time
   
   star wars
       machete order!
           4 5 2 3 6
               1 is optional
       it'll happen at times during the week
       murphy'll post stuff
       come see, esp if you haven't seen star wars already!
   
   dancer's symposium
       this weekend
       erin is lighting a dance!
           it's about a prostitute
           pink light
       come and seeeeee
   
   christmas
       nick is open if you need a place
   
   computer club movie night
       tuesday dec 15 9pm in rashid
       war games

we are now in purple