Revision as of 20:46, 8 December 2009

This was a collaborative effort on the bboard during the week before KGB Digs Its Own Grave 2009.

KGB's Sing-along Blog Planning

"My KGB" by jvirdo, to the tune of "On the Rise"

Mander: Any comrade with a brain<b/> Can see the KGB has gone insane On the other hand, I'd say That they have always been this way You can squid if you don't care to abstain

Listen close to all of your exec And get more tangerines Even clusterfolk come make the trek To MM A14

You'll find out this year's booth theme Groan and laugh at the puns and memes Anyone who yells "I have a job!" is held In high esteem

Eforney: Let's be clear Despite how geeky we appear We're not all CS majors here Well, some of us are engineers

Do you believe that roofs and steam tunnels exist? Not at CMU No way to get there, we insist We haven't got a clue

In time, you'll see you forgot The committees that you have bought And it's plain to see, you'll love the KGB Like it or not

[duet] Mander: I've got way too much to do Interp, Calculus, and Concepts, too My homework is everywhere And I'm doing my best to care But I would much rather hang around with you

Can't miss out on any one event Don't want to miss the fun But I'm worried about my grade percent Dropping down to 1. I cannot believe the time Did I really just waste my night? But it's plain to see Why I'm in KGB; they're friends for life

Eforney: Friday's here Events are great to spend with peers But I'm right at the point of tears To think that I'll be gone next year You should make sure

To come to all of our events You'll have lots of fun It won't cost you one more cent To hang out until 1. I cannot believe the time Did I really just laugh all night? Cause it's plain to see People in KGB are friends for life

“Glisson’s Chorus” by jokeserver, to the tune of “Bad Horse Chorus”

Jboning: Glisson, Glisson, Glisson, Glisson, He listens to your motions, the president Glisson, He heard the new idea that you just motioned, It first needs some discussion, so let the fun begin, A heinous pun, some shout 'til hoarse, (A reference to this show, of course)

A vote, a vote, a vote, a vote! The question has been called and now it's time to vote, And once you win the auction then we might let you gloat, But first if you're in favor, then say you're on a boat, If opposed keep on your clothes Or porno squid! (abstains, those).

“Caring Change” by jokeserver to the tune of “Caring Hand”

Labbot?: Will you lend some caring change And toss me sev'ral pennies Nickels, dimes, or quarters, too Just unwrap all your rolls, please

Clear the decks!

“A Man’s got to Buy” by zsparks, to the tune of “A Man’s Got To Do”

zsparks: A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy Don't make the bid if you can't pay a dime Shouts and hollers Zombie dollars Into labbott's hands Soon I'll control everything Committees small and grand

Bswolf: Stand back everyone, nothin' here to bid Just my im'nent winning, right after porno squid Yes, Dr. Quxuum's here, wallet overflowing, see? And I'm gonna buy this committee! A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy I'm gonna bid this one up really high The only doom that's looming is disbanding all that's left So I'll give you a sec to cash my check.

jboning: Thank you, money-man, I'm glad you think it's fun To buy these committees away from everyone We would be poor, we'd be all out of money Thank you for giving to The KGB!

Bshttp://wiki.cmukgb.org/skins/common/images/button_bold.pngwolf: Don't worry about it-A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy jboning: You bid far above zsparks: Are you kidding?

Bswolf: I'm gonna bid this one up really high jboning: I wonder what you're doctor of zsparks: Whose hand were you watching? (stop ignoring my bids like that)

Bswolf: When you've got a job you can't stop - would I lie? jboning: My Tartan's beating like a drum zsparks: Did you notice that he's using plastic money?

Bswolf: If something needs buying, some new financial abuse jboning: ... zsparks: I bought the Van Committee! The winning bid is in my hand!

Bswolf: The only doom that's looming is if I don't clear the deck jboning: ...Assuming you're gonna clear the deck zsparks: Whatever.

Bswolf: So I'll give you a sec to cash this check. jboning: Please give me a sec to cash this check. Glisson: Real relevant announcements pertaining to the KGB as an organization CAROLYN!

“Keep on Coming” by Sarah to the tune of “Here’s a Story”

Sarah: Here’s a story of a club Whose name stands for nothing Having lots of fun events Where people will be going crazy

Even in the meetings craziness can be found And every word that’s said brings More debating To new committees being formed

Doors replaced with windows For entering a meeting Committees are easy to buy If someone does not outbid you

Everybody’s coming What is that up on the board And I got hit in the head by people Throwing coins around, I don’t know why

So should I come to another meeting?

“Let’s Go Underground” by eforney to the tune of “Brand New Day”

Mander: First you went on a CMU Tour Well you thought it was cool and to campus were lured By the stories they told cause they all seemed so charming But my dear, listen here, the truth can be alarming because they Don't tell the whole tale

Eforney: We go Underground And we set you straight Because the lies they tell Are something that we hate We take you through buildings Even brand new Gates Let's go Underground

Mander: The UC, as you see, could be modelled after Quake Gesling Stadium, often it's more like Gesling Lake Compass Rose points us Northish, a little bit askew Donner Ditch, the basis for Crayola's Donner Blue And all this has flooded

Eforney: Go through Maggie Mo, Scream in Posner Hall Head toward CFA Yeah, we can take you all Through the corridors But not the steam tunnels We don't know 'bout them...

Mander: The Fence, you see, has many histories Don't look up, no one's on Doherty's roof Baker/Porter slopes, but for factories, nope It is totally for chairing, we swear it is the truth

Eforney: Scaife, Wean, NSH And to Gates we're bound From fascist balconies The stories will abound Now up to The Cut Please take that pole down And don't let the grass drown That's the Underground

"Get Board Get Carded" by mmeyerho to the tune of “Bad Horse Reprise”

Margaret: Surrounded by the cards and game pieces galore, There're so many things that you won't know what they're for With ever so much to do it's sure you won't get bored So confusing, just dive in And know the object Is to win

"Keep on Coming" by Sarah to the tune of “Here’s a Story”

Sarah: Here’s a story of a club Whose name stands for nothing Having lots of fun events Where people will be going crazy

Even in the meetings craziness can be found And every word that’s said brings More debating To new committees being formed

Doors replaced with windows For entering a meeting Committees are easy to buy If you have a zombie dollar or two

Anytime you come There’s one new event on the board And every one you see will keep on throwing Coins down, be wary and duck down

So keep on coming to the meetings

"My Stun Wand" by jokeserver to the tune of “My Freeze Ray”

Paul: CtFwS Day See you there In your base Wandering

Want to say "Toast" but I have no wands Anyway

Sarah: With my stun wand I will Stop The world With my stun wand I will Find the time to Find your flag and

Margaret: Get some points Win the game Not get caught That's the way

Sneaking in Sneaking out With your flag Anyways Sarah: With my stun wand I will Stop The chase It's not a vengeance or a goomba That's for larger groups I just sneak in the hidden loops

And I'm the one to get that flag Avoiding those who try to tag I'll score some points for our team And if I see Alarm, I'll scre-eam!

That's the plan Stun the world Get the flag Then repeat

Love your flag

Margaret and Paul: [spoken] "What? ...Hey, an enemy!" Sarah: "..." [runs away]

"Slacking" by Mander to the tune of “Slipping”

Sarah: Look at these people amazing how sleep'll get lost to the gaming. No one to scold you, but KGB told you, of sites for time maiming.

Jboning: Why can't they earn their own grades, why can't they stay on task? Is some refurnished source code, really too much to ask? But you bask in slacking, I think you're slacking.

Paul: Soon this behavior, will surely engrave your own repute for being, a product-less worker, a coffee break lurker, from jobs you'll be fleeing.

Margaret: Grace the event on Friday, very soon you will find. Being full bent on hangout, staying with your own kind, will hone your mind to slacking KGB's slacking all day, so...

Go ahead, play once more! Blame it on KGB. One more hour, one more day, who really cares?

Paul: Make reports, ITR, Do it with KGB. Join a club, eat at trucks, tiny time snares! Then you'll see, all of these, add up and overwhelm. That's the straw, you're the back, your life is ours.

Jboning: You have guilt, but it's fun! It is the KGB's turn, Quit thinking that you will learn, Your time for homework will burn! Burn! (Yeah, doesn't stand for anything. Just K-G-Byeah, right) Burn!

Sarah: Don't see my advisor, good it would be wiser, to keep him from knowing. By my own admission, now this org's tradition, in my life is growing.

Here's to it growing....

Thaat's not a *good* grade....

"Everyone Is Useless" by jokeserver to the tune of “Everyone’s a Hero”

Bswolf: Someday you'll ask us, honey How to spend your youth And we'll say help us make money And sell yourself for booth Give six hours of your free time To the person who bid high But even though they own you You will still control your life

Everyone is useless in their own way Everyone's got talents they can sell Juggle, cook, or drive Or teach someone to jive dance really well Everyone is useless in their own way As a slave but-mostly-legal way

Zsparks: You could buy a chaffeur, I guess (Yeah, we totally have those.) Or one whom you can impress With how well you can compose If you have an awesome talent Or can just put screws in holes It's not enough to donate cash You've got to sell your soul

Everyone is useless in their own way Everyone's got money they won't miss Bid up, pay up, and buy And hope to hell that guy will not outbid Everyone is useless in their own way You and you and all exec and you

Mander: I'm KGB's auctioneer And I'm selling you young'uns The highest bidder wins And after that all yinz can pay for what you've won

Everybody!

Everyone is useless in their own way (we're useless too) Everyone could use a brand new 'do (we'll bid on you!) Be sure to pay a lot We will need all we've got to build our booth Everyone is useless in their own way (we're useless too) Now let's start the bidding at 10!

"Throwing Change" by jokeserver to the tune of “Caring Change”

Labbott?: Will you lend some caring change And toss me sev'ral pennies Nickels, dimes, or quarters, too Just unwrap all your rolls, please

Clear the decks!

“A Man’s got to Buy” by zsparks, to the tune of “A Man’s Got To Do”

zsparks: A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy Don't make the bid if you can't pay a dime Shouts and hollers Zombie dollars Into labbott's hands Soon I'll control everything Committees small and grand

Bswolf: Stand back everyone, nothin' here to bid Just my im'nent winning, right after porno squid Yes, Dr. Quxuum's here, wallet overflowing, see? And I'm gonna buy this committee! A man's gotta buy what a man's gotta buy I'm gonna bid this one up really high The only doom that's looming is disbanding all that's left So I'll give you a sec to cash my check.

"Elections" by eforney to the tunes of “So They Say”

Paul: So they say that he may run for President I think that he would do a good job of it

Jboning: Me too

Maragert: So they say she wants RecSec

Margaret/Sarah: How appropriate!

Sarah: She types fast

Bswolf: So they say she'll try Sergeant At Arms If she doesn't get 2Veep, back up plan

zsparks: Contingency!

Currect Exec: It's time for elections

Jboning: So they say

Glisson: Because it's almost May

Eforney: Post your platforms to the bboard very soon

Glisson: This week...

Jboning: Today!

Paul: So they say he wants CorSec

Margaret: They say he won't publish often And doesn't write well We have a—

Paul/Margaret: --problem with him

Paul: So we won't vote

zsparks: This is so nice A voting system we only count twice Unless it's really a close call Then we might count a third time

Zsparks/exec: Or still a fourth time!

Bswolf: Exec's perfect for me So they say But it's too late anyway As a senior, leaving means I cannot run, I'm sad to say

Exec: There's no exec spot left So they say

Glisson: For some of you anyway

Jboning: Please do not be bitter

Eforney/Glisson: We still want you to stay!

zsparks: This is your new exec board

Zsparks/Exec: See you next year!

"KGB Forever" by jokeserver to the tune of “Finale”

Bswolf: Here meets KGB An org to which I pay my dues So that I get to choose Who exec will be (KGB Forever) It won't be me...

So you want this role So you think you should be the pres And clean up all this mess They hope you will be bold (KGB Forever) And now we vote

Now the tally's done! Now our new president is here! To lead us all next year Salute 'em cause it's fun (KGB Forever) And I won't run... Again