Minutes20140302
From KGB Wiki
OFFICER REPORTS
Broman
had a weekend
started with the UPA
which was awesome
played magic all day and well into the night on Saturday
also awesome
then sunday there was the Superbowl and it was shitty, shitty, shitty, shitty
James
had a weekend
UPA!
where he was bought in two separate auctions
also read a book of Lovecraft on Saturday
new people
Luke, MechE, University of Pitt, that counts as uninteresting
JRAM
had a weekend
was bought at the UPA
proportedly to provide him with pants
watched the Superbowl
"farsicle" is the best word for it
EVENT
KGB Digs Its Own Grave
Karaoke
in this very room (DH 1212)
7:00, Friday
Marlena
had a weekend
basically UPA followed by work
and if she hadn't had that much work she probably still wouldn't have watched the Superbowl
Pravda?!
...Broman already chose a new theme?
Zora
had a weekend
boothed! built many flats, some of them comically small.
and then spent a day doing homework and CAPTAIN AMERICA 2 TRAILER
Dillon
had a weekend
UPA
we raised $1300!
also went to the first booth
because booth chair
Mike
had a weekend
UPA
got bought and bought people
now owns Frieder
hilarity will ensue
boothed
not a chair but lives with them
got free food from the Mellon
which is the best
COMMITTEE REPORTS
Lies And Slander Committee
was told there would be free chipotle at the new one
there was not
it was closed
Illustrious Journalist Collective
Tim Broman's wedding ended horribly yesterday
the tragedy could have been prevented had he been informed of the wedding
ad hoc John Madden Official Endgame Committee
the birdies beat the horsies
Broetry Committee
"Firewater and Smirnoff Ice" by eforney and Brobert Frost
OLD BUSINESS
The Thing!
Pravda?s not getting printed is not Frieder's fault
...they got printed
nothing isn't Frieder's fault this week
NEW BUSINESS
Don't Touch The Cupcake Committee: to infect as many people as possible using reverse psychology
change purpose to "touch the cupcake"
does it still infect everyone?
of course!
PASSES
append "sweet, sweet vengence" to the purpose
PASSES
when you say infected...?
zombies.
change all "infected" to "confected"
PASSES
flashbacks of Vietnam
the kittens look fizzy
motion to define the cupcake as being chocolate and the icing as being vanilla
well, you're halfway there
PASSES
$3 to Marlena, anyone who didn't touch the cupcake, plus Marlena, will chair
Committee To Throw Your Debts And Sins At The Treasurer: pretty much that
general body requesting more information on said sins
caroline forgot to pay her dues at the beginning of the year
how does this committee feel about money for innocuous purposes delivered sketchily in plastic bags?
friendly
the ccolombo is an antiaircraft tank committee: reports
committee for ccolombo's fascination: caroline's a tank
PASSES
$2 to Maija, people with debts and or sins will chair
Skyecotic: Skyecotic
is this committee skyecolic?
if you're having skyecotic episodes, you need a skyecologist
ad hoc KGB Psychoanalysis Committee
skyepolar and skyecosis are distinct DSM disorders
how does this committee feel about constantly needing to wake up?
you have to wake up, you have an exam in ten minutes
does this committee feel?
that's a big question
can this committee tell me about its mother?
what?
request for ad hoc Linguists Committe: what does Skye mean in its root languages?
"I dunno, whatever"
PASSES
$6 to Skye, anyone who can properly make a Skye pun will chair
KGB Ultimate Beatdown Committee: tbroman called eforney fat, also some other stuff, loud yelling, okay Xander
tbroman has literally broken someone's nose
SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS: wrestlinggggg?
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT: maaaaaybe not during the meeting
Broman thanks eforney for saving his life last night
request report from Storytelling Committee:
Broman broke jboning's nose by pocketboxing
that thing where you put your hands in your sweatshirt pockets and swing around with your elbows
Broman's a cold blooded killer, he's broken the nose of an entire orphanage
why does an orphanage only have one nose?
irrelevant
Extra Zen Committee in conjunction with the Yoga Flame Committee: is this the meeting where Xander finally loses it?
"it" being his voice
PASSES
$1 to Xander, he and testosterone will chair
motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for food for the event
PASSES
motion to make an allocation not to exceed $500 for initial booth stuff
replace some tools (like tape measures), some lumber
it is possible to have too many drills?
8 is that number
PASSES
motion to create a standing rule that, for the next month, should the chair become unoccupied, the power of the chair will pass to Frieder with Skye second in line after him
it would expire at 5:00pm, during a meeting, on March 3rd
yep
Frieder and Broman are fighting over the bylaws
append that this is after all the rest of exec has vacated
PASSES
the chair can step down by choice
request report from the Assassinations Committee
Assassinations Committee: dead silence
request report from the Sergeant At Arms
Mike: what
ad hoc Broman Is Probably Right Committee: seniority is stated in bylaws, not rules of succession
those are in Robert's Rules of Order
PASSES
Marlena: point of whatever, please don't kill us
Adorable Assassinations Committee
don't worry, you won't be covered in blood
Peyton Manning Memorial Wind Farm Committee: to totally blow it
it's a triple entendre
Peyton Manning tried to throw in the towel but it got intercepted
if you were playing the Ohio drinking game, you were probably sober by the end of the Superbowl
what
PASSES
$5 to dkirby, he and every other member of the KGB who watched the Superbowl will Chair
Caroline Is A Tank Committee: to retrofit the members of the KGB into military hardware
Caroline Is An Antiaircraft Tank Committee: disapproves
misappropriated Don't Worry It's For Science Committee: don't worry, it will only hurt for a few years
James wants to be a battleship
F7!
PASSES
$2 to Frieder, the first person to get outfitted with military hardware will chair
motion to create a standing rule that "forney" counts for "five" during auctions
eforney is sick of these unrealistic expectations for last name size
why did Forney Frieder Drew?
[PUNCHLINE REDACTED]
PASSES
J. Alfred Prufroc's Committee: references to T. S. Elliot
all the women come and go
talking like Michaelangelo
it's pretty slushy outside, you should wear your trousers rolled up
you think you're pretty clever, don't you, e. email cummings
one fish two fish red fish blue fish
one fish drew fish red fish blue fish
one fish two fish red fish blue fish yellow fog that kind of looks like a cat
this is a haiku
professor rhinocerous
I hate poetry
you think you're so smart
with your silly little words
this is not so hard
$1 to eforney, Benedict Cumberbatch, Bo Burnam, the author of pictures for sad children, twright, and herself will chair
Creative Hand Gestures Committee: to find more creative ways of flipping people off
this is the feather, it's for people who don't deserve the burd
Churchill was confused for a while into the War
eforney gives this committee a one out of five
ccolumbo gives this committee a two out of ten
oh, wait I can't hear you, let me put up the antenna
oh, you wanna talk to the KGB?
crank it up
president skroob
change name to "Martin Freeman Memorial Committee"
PASSES
PASSES
$2 to Mike, anyone who comes up with a new way to flip someone off will chair
Committee Pokemon Committee: committees: gotta catch 'em all
misappropriated afalk Committee: approves
is it possible to forcefully acquire a committee?
no
FAILS
if you're happy and you know it clap your hands
clap clap!
Long Past Childhood Committee: enter the minds of people and make them relive their memories
Innovative Technologies Committee
they're working on something to do this
it looks like a tin hat
I didn't understand but there was a probably cool thing about Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS
HIS PANTS WERE RECTANGLES
"square pants" actually refers to pants for which the measurements for legs and waist are the same
32x32, for example
PASSES
$1 to JRAM, disbanded
we are now in purple
ANNOUNCEMENTS
EVENT
KGB Digs Its Own Grave
Karaoke on Friday in this very room
7:00, DH 1212
Booth
go to builds!
especially if you said yes when we voted on booth
construction builds are at 12 on Saturdays in the Kage
art meetings at 5:30 on Thursdays in DH 1217
pay your debts!
sweatshirts
we ordered more than people preordered, so you can buy one if you want and didn't preorder
also, you should pay and claim your sweatshirt if you preordered
SCHMUCKS
Puzzlehunt CMU
March 22nd, which is a Saturday
register at mazeoftwistypassages.com
you can have up to 5 people on your team (this is a new thing, previously the max was 4)
if you're gonna be out of town, you should playtest!
email eforney or Dillon or someone who looks like they might know what's going on
