Minutes20130909

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((GUYS I FORGOT HOW TO SPELL PURPLE))

OFFICER REPORTS

   Broman
       had a weekend
       began w ug tour
           went around campus and told things that were true
       on saturday there was some stuff
       10 hrs after that had training for community standards boards
           serving on academic review boards
           could potentially be called on to judge the case if people were caught tresspassing places where they don't belong
           
   ccolombo
       had a weekend
       ug tour
       then shifting in and out of existance
       then taking it slow because she came down with a cold
       then some work today
           new people
               (name, major, origin, unint)
               rasaundra, mathmatical sci, baltimore, is quiet
               chris, ece, san fran, wears clothes
               kelsey, kingston, PA, writing, also wears clothes
               shoshana, music psych, cleaveland, plays obo
               evans, planning on ece, ca, brown hair
               david, mech e, chicago, spent majority of life breathing
               miranda, art, roosevelt island in ny, has all fingers and toes
                   was building a phoenix
   
   JRAM
       had
       ug tour
       other things
       maelstrom of hw and disease
       EVENT
           get board get carded
           7 pm friday porter A18
           to avoid getting eaten by a drew
   
   marlena
       had a weekend
       floor is suspiciously wet
       went on ug tour, wore a top hat, ran into things
       got got in maelstrom of work, not disease
       realized half of work maybe was not necessary
       PRAVDA?!
           bait and switch edition
           each one is gonna have a theme so you'll submit stuff 'cause you have ideas
           next week is Hocus Pocus edition
   
   zora
       had a weekend
       ug tour, sprinted back and forth and yelled and sprinted and then lay down in the grass
       did work but not enough work on saturday and sunday
           this will be a theme
   
   dillon
       had a weekend
       not the ug tour
       went to penn apps
       didn't place top 3 but won lots of secondary awards
           real time lecture service thing for professor
       has lots of work and is sick
       
   mike
       had a weekend
       got sick
       moped on the comfy couch a lot
       didn't do work on saturday
       is still sick

COMMITTEE REPORTS

   ad hoc stalk past pres: Jared got a job offer from google! Sooooo maybe he'll be back?
   
   dkirby: also ug'd, was told to speak up...which has NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE
   
   ad hoc for cont. tradition she's never heard of: getting baggers, open to confuse a bagger
       confuse a bagger worth telling
   
   ad hoc rats on venetian trade ships: success
   
   committee to not burn down r7 and a bunch of other shit and the spoeken: sexy dj, etc.
       Party at R7 on Saturday at 9:00 PM!
       
   ad hoc oh no booth!: tepper building in morewood parking lot?
   
   assass committee: fuck you
   
   pitt exploration: 2 success
   
   cmu hates grass: booth on cut interesting
   
   alcoholist: endorse chocotaco milkshake
   
   derpy crane: derpy crane
   
   misap cullinary r&D: failure and tears
       the mead?
       
   no
   
   time travel: glisson for pres
   
   storytelling committee: CMU is hard.
       Y'all are smart. Everyone is smart. It's challenging!
       It's okay to ask for help--everyone here does, and no one will think less of you.
       There are lots of resources! Including us!
       Talk to us, we're friendly.
       CMU is hard, feel free to ask for help if you need it.
   
   this will make sense later: soon
   
   airship piracy: reports
   
   marionnette committee: the floor is lava
   
   floor is lava: success
   
   ad hoc derpy oragami heart: reports
   

OLD BUSINESS

   the thing
       getting cold not ccolombo's fault

NEW BUSINESS

   sliding innuendoes: trombones and sacbutts
       sacbutts = renn trombones
       charlie brown committee: wowowowowow
           sacbutt
       now we know what a sacbutt is
       change all sac to snack
           FAILS
       change all sackbutt to bugmars
           FAILS
       change all butt to buttmars
           PASSES
       change all butt to fanny
           FAILS
       lookit dat ass
       hats n kitties, hats hats n kitties
       PASSES
       $2 to Drew, tromboners will chair!
   
   684th beating of a dead horse: change name and purpose of committee
       684 to 685
           pass
       all word and number ch bugmars
           pass
       dead horse to mostly dead horse
       685, 686
           pass
       horse to donkey
           np
       dead to dan
           pass
       append w before horse
           nope
       prepend same
           dilatory
       PASSES
       $2 to drew, anyone able to incirment
   
   motion to cremate the grandmother committee: everyone messes up
       change purpose to freudian slips
       monty python committee: I'm not dead yet
       ad hoc committee with guy pushing cart: well you will be, and he's not coming around again til next tues
       $1 to mcginnis, anyone who's ever sold a grandma
       
   snipe your high five: hey rglenn high five
       the fistbump r&d committee approves
       change action in purpose to hair smoothing
           FAILS
       touch eforney's hand
           that's how we all get disease
       ad hoc drew's driving: guyssss I'm trying to drive
           sorry
       PASSES
       $3 to Marlena, whoever sniped the last high five
   
   committee to det. what woodland creatures utter: to discover ~what the fuck's sake~
       what kind of elephant says toot?
       idk what happened here watch the video
       tortellini
       ad hoc my family does things that I do: Marlena's sent this to her entire family, including her grandmother, which is not her cup of tea, apparently
       the fox obviously communicates in or, or, or, or, ors
       ad hoc committee to dedisnify the fox and the hound approves
       PASSES
       $2 to drew (twoingliss), eforney chairs
   
   plague hats committee: [gave a hat] and also warn people about the horrors of head lice
       lookin' at you JRAM
       change to brain slug committee:
           FAILS
       change head lice to dread lice
           PASSES
       change dread lice to dreads lice
           FAILS
       change dread to judge dread
           FAILS
       change hat to headwear in purpose:
           PASSES
       you get a hat if you buy the committee
       PASSES
       $5 to Maija, people who are wearing a hat or have had headlice due to kgb in the past
   
   thoughtful kgb: only pass committees we think are worth buying and not just listen to our facist dictator and do the 
       change purpose to do what our dictator says
           fail
       change all to tim broman
           pass
       motion to instate xander as dictator
           dilatory
           broman has armies
       sliding innuendoes: hee hee dictator
       change tim to timmy
           dilatory
       change bro to brobro
           dilatory
       change broman to bromance
           dilatory
       change broman to turner
           FAILS
       change all broman to brotherman
           PASSES
       brotherman to nananananananana FRATMAN
           passes?
       change all man to manman
           no
       change all man to man or woman
           passes
       change all tim to the tim
           passes
       include middle name (robert)
           passes
       change all robert to bobert
           passes
   
   we did it!: proclaim we did it when we do anything reletively mundane and easy tasks
       change we did it to bow before me peasants
           passes
       change all me to us
           passes
       change to make a cheese pizza: make a cheeze pizza:
        dilatory
       change peasant to pheasant:
           passes
       change all bow to bow:
           passes
       change all pheasant to presence
           fails
       change all bow before me pheasants to kneel before zod
       change to youthful something committee: I have no idea what I'm doing or what I've done
       append kelly's memory to purpose
       chagnge purpose because dan thinks everything's friendly
       overly friendly committee: success
       PASSES
       $2 to dkirby, everyone friendly will chair
   
   this will make sense later: to have been reported the day it will be created later
       you took too long, now  youre committee's gone
       time police: you've been charged a fine of 3 years
       $3 to afrieder, everyone will chair
   

announcements

   EVENT!
       get board get carded
       friday 7:00 porter A18*
       bring board games bring card games bring drew
   
   pay your dues!
       $15 for semester, $20 for year
       you get voting on important stuff and discounts on tshirts

schmucks

   sacbutt
   
   tortellini
   
   we are now in purpule
   
   R7 party
       sat at 9:00
       over there by the hill
   
   frisbee on friday before event??
   
   Dan is thinking of doing a thing with borg episodes of star trek
   
   come to the hole in the vacant lot behind the ralph's
   
   pick up your paper

purpule and get food