7 Officers On A Deadman's Chest

Gather, children, for I will tell you a story, one that is known only to a few. It is a tale of the earliest days, the darkest days, the days when Faraday still had his hat; a tale that has no beginning but this, and no ending but that, and the words that fall between are odd and probably mischosen for overall effect.

This be the tale! Far off upon the Sea of Gammon there sailed the mighty Bastion, letter-marqued to the King and scourge of we, the scourges of the seas. Captained she was by Pallert, Henry Pallert, and ne'er did a pirate see a worse fate or better when once Pallert's eye did set upon him; well do I recall the wrecks and wretches left in the Bastion's wake. Thrice his doom did near look upon me, and each glance cost ten years from my life, as I swear by what oaths I've left to break.