Officer Reports

Glisson

Picnic. Greta makes awesome. Design project with lots of rendering. Done with it!

Mander

Had a weekend. It involved California. Brought Kumquats! All the other citrus was gone. (Kumquats are citrus? Yes, Drew, they are.) Shakespeare wrote the "to be or not to be" speech wrong.

Richard

EVENT. Arm wavey. Wednesday is Mafia Night. Friday is Movie Night. Bitterness last week was from wiring things backwards >_> (Serial Port). EMAIL RICHARD IF YOU ARE GOING TO MAFIA NIGHT. AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. PLZKTHX.

Emily

Weekend. Picnic. Fake meeting. Dancer's Symposium. Lots of stuff. Doesn't remember Sunday.

Josiah

Camping. Co-op. Nature!

Labbott

Picnic. Got addicted to online game. Went to Mad Mex. Got a new driver's license; is no longer driving illegally.

Derek

Barbecued! Job offer! Housing! Moving. Needs boxes and carrying. Will be in Sunnyvale all summer!

Committee Reports

251 Torture Committee

Final is tomorrow at 0800. Thanks for being tortured!

Ad-Hoc Fixing the Bard Committee

Speech about considering getting drunk.

Misappropriated Committee to Hug a Stressed Out Student

Finals week.

Assassinations Committee

cs-251-staff mailing list needs to be fixed.

Storytelling Committee

Honey in Ancient Egypt.

Committee that Won't Exist

Final on Wednesday.

Committee to Buy More Tangerines

Kumquats are are okay.

Committe that Won't Exist

Sucess as of Friday

Scott Pilgrim Committee

Can transfer to some college somewhere

Ad-Hoc Ad-Hoc Meeting Committee

Success.

rntz rntz gwillen

Success.

ITR

One more time.

Ad-Hoc Daft Punk

One more time.

Old Business

The Pfennig

aballard has new thing? #define one hundred trillion dollar Zimbabwean bill as the thing? yes! Glisson will pay for lamination. zsparks has the thing! things htat rhyme with swine flu are not his fault.

Epic(?) Epidemic Committee

Favor: Have a pet pig, get swine flu from it. Opposed: have a pet giraffe, get Alzheimer's from it. Abstain: have a pet rock, get a Macy's Day Parade float from it.

Passes -- $3 to dbesse -- he and anyone who dies of the swine flu.

Hold the Elevator Committee

Purpose: To attempt to crush people by hitting the Close Door button. (It never works!)

Not during CTFWS please!

Favor: mime crushing your neighbor in elevator doors. Opposed: calmly take the stairs. Abstain: squid.

Passes -- $3 to bblum -- he, Carolyn, and anyone who feels the urge to crush people by hitting the Close Door button.

Add Hawk Committee

Purpose: To add hawks to things.

Purpose: FALCON PUNCH

Recipe for Falcon Punch: Take two things of soda. Add Hawk.

Favor: Imagine adding a hawk to things. Preferably people. Opposed: remove a badger from things. Abstain: leave the birds where they are. BEEEEEEEEEEES.

Passes -- $1 to goob -- he and all the docents at the aviary.

Committee to Turn the Moon Into a Dominatrix

Purpose: Bylaws people are wankers; throw rocks at them.

Purpose: To show that the moon is indeed a harsh mistress.

That's no moon...

Favor: Have the moon dominate you. Opposed: Submit to Carolyn and Labbott instead. Abstain: submit to Pravda?!

Passes -- $7 to bswolf -- he, the moon, and people who enjoy having meetings in different places.

Fixing the Bard Committee

Purpose: To change all of Shakespeare

Bards like to reproduce too, you know.

Favor: recite a Shakespeare poem. or make one up. Opposed: make up a song by the backstreet boys. Abstain: Talk about how you prefer math over english class.

Passes -- $5 to ajkraut -- anyone who modifies any of Shakespeare.

Declare Derek the Hero of the Grill

Good Idea.

Allocate $150 for the Movie Night