Minutes20130923

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Note!

   We're trying a thing! We're gonna try not to 

OFFICER REPORTS

   Broman
       had a weekend
       rjct smores mafia
           adventures with fire
           we burned some pizza boxes, don't worry about it
       then a lot of work and not enough work at the same time
       apparently there's a goldman sachs info session at 6:00
           they might be hovering outside ALL HOUR (there might be random people outside)
   Caroline
       had a weekend
       involved HELPING her sisters talk to other people and getting progressively more fancy
       committee to crossbreed orgs reports success
       new people!
           Shashank, ECE (maybe CS?), goes to CMU, from india (and new york)
   JRAM
       had a weekend
       kgb argues about semantics of vanilla then eats chocolate
       puzzlehunt on sat
           came in third
       10 hours of grading on sunday, halfway done
       EVENT
           KGB digs its own grave
           friday, 7:00, MM A14
           Karaoke!
   Marlena
       Had a weekend
       did lots of [redacted] with [redacted] and it was most excellently [redacted]
   Zora
       had a weekend
       started with Running Jumping Climbing Trees, then s'mores, then doctor who
       then a day of hair dying and cookies and more doctor who
       and then WORK FOREVER
   Dillon
       had a weekend
       rjct
           argued about lots of things
       puzzlehunt
           overall really fun
       then just did work ALL OF SUNDAY
   Mike
       had a weekend
       same as execs on fri
       dyed margaret's hair on saturday
       didn't get enough work done on sun
       


COMMITEE REPORTS

   guild of calam intent: declared war on evil seafood league (and vice versa)
       xander chairs both
   
   the what would liek to what
   
   ad hoc interp essay commitee: what I learned in boating school is
   
   alcoholist com: went to stacked, can endorse Bahama Mama
   
   ad hoc 1984: but guild of calam has always been at war
   
   sign language: happy fall everyone
   
   dj full: will either have a job or be looking for a job
   
   ad hoc journ: unicorn in frick park. Jeremy heinz spotted the beast when he was out in the park discovering unicorns
       don't touch the ritual markings
   
   ad hoc: real analysis is hell: 32 qs on hw
       only had 6 last year
       
   ad hoc too long storys: new himym premieres tonight
   
   ad hoc shit I saw in the tartan: some legitimately scary shit
   
   ad hoc: there's an outside?: it's fall?
   
   keep up with building changes: some of the doors on dh b level are harder
   
   ad hoc reaver committee: concern about centerfold
   
   50 shades of xander: we had a fly problem at the moon, xander had to deal with it
       they may have a spider opportunity now
       
   kgb goes outside: giant duck on friday
   
   speak of the devil and he shall come: success
   
   mnabraha food, scorri more sugar: suc
   
   illustrious journalists: there's a dude missing, sorry, I missed the beginning
       blood started appearing on the front window
       people have gone to frick park to see the unicorn
   
   hold hands with devil and he shall come: too soon
   
   mis ap kgb goes outside: dkirby went on a picnic, it was muddy

OLD BUSINESS

   The Thing!
       The demise of happyville is not stuart's fault

NEW BUSINESS

   scp committee: a) document and contain things found in illust journalist collective
                   b) kill said journalist so the truth does not come out
       append copy docs from computer
       Oren has a self-referencial joke
       guild of calam and seafood really have a problem
           6 people are dead
       everyone's a linguist: success
       to quote fox mulder: Getting spooky?
       to quote any other fox: CHA CH CHA CH CHA CHA CHA 
       to quote fox news: water is bad
       to quote foxtrot: physics joke
       PASSED
       $3 to Marlena, she and anyone else who wants to be part of the gov't collective
   
   illustrious journalist collective: put eyes and ears where eyes and ears have never been and never will be again
       they make no mention of balls
       ad hoc stealing eforney's joke: the trombone connected to the mouth bone
       marlena has and extra toe (not with her)
       ad hoc musical horror movie mashup: the hills have eyes to the sounds of music
       the voices! they're now listening to you
       don't look at eforney in that tone of voice
           broman thought tonovvoice was
       are these strictly human eyes and ears?
           we are an equal opportunity
       ad hoc shit i read in the tartan: spank: 50 shades of parody
       change eyes to eyes of corn
           dilatory
       illustrious to illustrated
           fails
       add noses to eyes and ears in purpose
           fails
       overly friendly committee: massive failure
       have you ever really looked at unfathomable horrors? like, really looked?
       $5 to Xander, he will chair
       
   kgb corrects exec:
       NOPE
   
   barbarian: to be immune to anything that committee [points to xander] report
       is this committee happy?
           it's still alive, so it doesn't really know
       motion to entomb xander in his very own committee when he dies
       motion for committee to take a level in rogue
       WHAT IS THIS COMMITTEE YOU SPEAK OF? WHO IS THIS PRESIDENT OF WHOM YOU SPEAK?
       motion to more clearly define that
           restated purpose with illust committee
       purpose changed to immune to anything this committee reports
           passes
       exept for vampires appended
           PASSES
       redact "this committee" from purpose
           PASSES
       so whenever "this committee" comes up on your monitor, take a black highlighter and cross it out
           a sharpie will also do just fine
       $5 to afrieder, anyone who doesn't want to listen to [REDACTED]
   
   innovative tech: tobring new and interesting tech to reasonable communist consumers like you
       will this support synergy and the use of the cloud?
           only if the cloud's on fire
       replace the cloud in minutes with "my butt"
           out of order
       fistbump rnd: approves
       barbarian: huh?
       this week, jet fuelded glasses, so we can all be superman
       will this committee be able to produce black highlighters?
           you cannot get them on amazon
       replace all reason with glory (in general)
           out of order
       our superficial design flaws outweigh the fundamental ones
       how many of our products rely on tech that gains energy from severed dog heads
           [REDACTED]
       white highlighters?
           info available in redacted folder
       motion for the committee to give free samples to all the people who vote in favor
           yes
       our product puts the "car" in carcinogen
       SCP committee: if it starts blowing or talking, give us a call
       $8 to mike, dillon will chair
   
   free samples: make sure that the above commitee will fulfil spec
       will serve uranium brewed coffee in the next room in a few hours
       free skittles? for everyone
       that's what you meant to say committee: success
           that committee doesn't exist
       time mafia: supports to get samples a free trial from our justice system
       ad hoc new committe: oh wait no
       you are free to have these samples for a small price
       change name to open source samples
       change name to open source as a bird
           FAILS
       supersonic limbo: pew x 5
       $3 to afrieder, anyone who likes open source stuff
       
   allocation for $50 for event!
       passes
   
   to table the chair: to bed the sofa and other furniture jokes
       does anyone want a wardrobe?
       does anyone want a witch?
       does anyone want to give dan a couch?
       caroline would like a lion?
           to go with her wardrobe and witch
       change name to craigslist/furniture committee
           fails
       how do you feel about futons?
           fubulous
       the perks of being a twerkflower: success
           (that's not a committeee)
       $2 to drew, people who have excess furnityr
   
   committee against hum: add commentary to anything in the form of cards against hum
       glen beck being harried by buzzard
       the school trip was ruind once again by crystal meth
       marlena would say that this is the beginning of a slipery slope, but by making this committee we've already hit rock bottom
       old people smell
       I drink to forget drinking alone
       the alcoholist: you should join us
       harry potter and the chamber of kittens!
       harry potter and the chamber f harry potter erotica
       working on a card that fills in the fist thing that comes to your head
       harry and bitches
       harry and police brutality
       harry and secretions
       harry and oh god oh god a mind reading card oh no
       harry and dead horses
       harry and bronies
       $6 to eforney, she will chair and anyone else
   
   create alexander orenstein memorial: it's never too early to get a start on this
       change purpose to "soon"
           PASSES
       is xandern a) working on dangerous stuff and b) planning to release it soon?
           isn't that vacuously true?
       change alexander to xander
           fails
       replace xander orenstein with xorer anderstein
           fails
       replace alexander with ail xander
           fails
       motion to quantify committee over all alexanders
           nope
       change all alexander to xander
           passes
       motion to change name to xander s orenstein
           passes
       mis ap precedent: success
       $4 to drew, everyone except xander
   
   sitcommittee: provide laughtracks for kgb
       change name to romcommittee
           dilatory
       point of info: no longer 1980s
       make this meeting a very special episode
           passes
       make this meeting the christmas special
           fails
       applause
       we all learned a valuable lesson today about friendship, caring, and not selling meth to school children
       motion to have a heartwarming moment
           passes
       motion to finally introduce the mother
           eh
       $4 to stuart, he will chair

ANNOUNCEMENTS

   EVENT
       karaoke!
       A14, 7:00, friday
   
   pay dues!
       pay dillon, then talk to zora
   
   BOOTH!
       we'll vote next week
       theme announcement for all of carnival next week
       before monday's meeting you can submit ideas for our own theme
           we'll get something up on friday
       real serious business!
           you have to have paid your dues to vote
           you can discuss without voting though
           it's a rollcall vote
   
   if you haven't paid for committees, PAY

SCHMUCKS

   ITR
       10:00 sat night wean 4 couches
   
   2 members have started buggy not at ethan's org
       go to Apex meetings!
   
   this should reall
   
   12-2 free food in weagen
       chili cookoff
   
   does anyone want a wardrobe?
   
   do you enjoy star trek?
       did the recent movies not feel enough late 80s early 90s enough?
       borg night on saturday
   
   illust journalists have a electronic version coming to a fb group near you
   
   follow christian after the meeting for a lot of spaghetti
   
   puzzlehunt signup
       teams of up to four
       mazeoftwistypassages.com
       

purple and gtfo