Minutes20141301
From KGB Wiki
OFFICER REPORTS
Broman
had a haircut
he means break
also went places and did things maybe
watched a lot of tv
it was relaxing
so relaxing he forgot when sleep is supposed to happen
has been going to bed at 5am
(tepid applause)
James
had a break and weekend
in that weekend colmar.exe has developed a virus
JRAM
had a break
large amount of games
video and board
large amount of money spent on steam
this weekend, bluification
EVENT
potluck
7pm, PHA18*
(rooms not confirmed yet, watch facebook)
bring food and boardgames
Marlena
had a break
lazed around in new house in texas and played with dogs
also looking for cougars because those are around
(broman: do you have brothers?)
Pravda? theme: unnatural disasters
Zora
had a break and at least three weekends within that break
first was WAY TOO LONG IN MINNESOTA
then time in madison with actual friends and fun
Dillon
had a break
family moved
spent half the break unpacking
spent the rest procrastinating from procrastinating
meant to marathon tv shows, instead marathoned QI
mike
had a vacation
in the cold north of boston
shredded a newspaper with a snowblower
went skiing!
ended up on their back headfirst down the slope
COMMITTEE REPORTS
misap alcaholist
marlena turned 21
her mom snuck in mimosa mix to a spa (but there were free ones)
also wine pairings at dinner
kaijuB:
not an unnatural disaster
illust journalists
turns out news doesn't stop whenit's not reported
the long lost mayor came back, but went back out
all of the dkirby committees
he has a beard
innov tech
they do not open source their viruses, since it would be counterproductive
free samples got dat
open source samples
happy to give you viruses
broetry
A Bro Is The Thing With Brewskis
alcaholist
maija's recycling may be trash talking her
time travel
no way to go back to the good old days
bswolf memorial
chalk this one up
skyentology
broman + time = comedy?
guild of calam in conj with don't worry it's for science
if you notice xander disappearing, don't worry that means it's working
OLD BUSINESS
The Thing
stink bombs going off in the 2nd floor of hunt at 7:15 on some day is not stephen's fault
NEW BUSINESS
kgb imperial fleet: take over kgb with cunning use of flags, I mean shirts, I mean shirts with boats
name changed to kgb metric fleet
PASSES
does a metric fleet fly through a metric space
the alcoholist would prefer if this were the metric stout committee, but they can deal
evil seafood and guild of calam both call dibs
PASSES
$2 to maija, ppl with boats will chair
things you find in texas: real live cougars made from real live cats
funny hats
everything bigger
no bike lanes
that one place that stephan can't remember
more swamps than you'd think
civilization
shoking amount of guns
freedom
REMEMBER THE ALAMO
my exes
PASSES
$3 to marlena, anyone who's been in texas will chair
united pickles alliance against he man and the masters of the universe: I am dillator
append to purpose "and to make dillon dillator"
passes
comment from treasurer:
very interesting
PASSES
$3 to christian, disbanded
(dillon is still dillator)
the first committee that kgb will pass in the year 2014: chaos and mass hysteria, apparently
change name to third committee that kgb will pass in the year 2014
FAILS
change name to fifth to last committee that kgb will pass before we are all eaten by cats
change all cat to bootsandcats
PASSES
has anyone seen xander's cat?
change all cat to cougar
PASSES
innov tech has in no way been putting viruses into xander's cats
change bootsandcougars to cougars
PASSES
FAILED
committee to spread peace and love and tolerance through unconventional means: book of morman joke
ethan would like to point out that the name of this committee is a sex joke
PASSES
$2 to Drew, disbanded
this is not a sex joke: disregard the title
xander can make sexjokes too: BLOWJOBS
people laughed it was funny
motion to strike first three words
passes
caulk joke wood joke
xander has a better one:
A man walks into a bar. BLOWJOBS
Who is on First
change name to "a sex poke"
FAILS
change name to "a calm rational discussion of the antijoke of a sexual nature"
PASSES
change name to "considerate literate intelligent thought"
PASSES
$2 to Drew, eforney will chair
committee that will be disbanded upon creation: report continuing failure
change purpose to: report success exactly once
so would this committee rather fight a mcginnis sized duck or a hundred duck sized mcginnises
PASSES
$5 to mcginnis, disbanded
kgb imaginary friend: to generate and imaginary friend for the KGB starting with this snake
but first let's add wings
can we add a beefy arm
append "and burninate the countryside"
fails
trogba trogba trogba trogba trogba trogba
motion to append a beard and a prehensile tail (a second one)
also a second arm that is made of beef
passes
if we feed him an elephant how closely will he resemble a hat?
let's see
ad hoc kgb psychoanalytic
supported but not impressed
motion to table until after a time
dilatory
how does this committee feel about tea time
good
motion to postpone discussion until after naptime
frieder is tired give him his juice
passes unanimously
motion to take a nap
it's a good idea
but this week's event isn't KGB takes a nap!
FAILS
motion to make an allocation not to exceed $50 for the event
PASSES
secondary warp drive: build a starship powered by teh energy resulting from second-antisecond elimination
if seconds and antiseconds were created in equal amounts, why are there more seconds?
because that didn't happen
misap time travel: don't pass the thing! now we all have beards!
we learned in fifth grade that words have POWER, not energy
the energy is about 120hz, you make the joke
lots of seconds
time travel committee: there IS actually a safe timeline
this committee just exploded
seagull immediately precedes second in a dictionary
so obviously seagulls are antiseconds
PASSES
$5 to stuart, the pilots who live on the death star committee will chair
yeah, no
motion to officially define the dictionary of the KGB as the one only containing "seagull" and "second"
as it happens the word second actually predates the word seagull
this means that spelling only maters 4 thos
if we play scrabble, are those the only too legal plays?
no, use the scrabble dictionary
motion to switch the places of the words so we don't subscribe to english ideals
what is english
PASSES
triple entendre committee: in the american sw there's a strip club near an airport called the landing strip
this committee's name is a specification for a sex joke
seagull seagull second
there's a sports bar called bottom of the fifth
PASSES
$3 to drew, rory will chair
committee dedicated to general boring mundane everyday happenstance: look into this very bright light and don't blink
drew is uncomfortable
insert "crazy random" between "everyday" and "happenstance"
PASSES
I had a weekend
last time jcolmar was told to look into a bright light and not blink an actual needle was put into his eye
PASSES
$2 to Drew, disbanded
secret lair: I got a key to a studio and need things to store in it
the alcoholist committee: would like to suggest alcohol
yeah no there are rules against that
motion to change name to stately pleasure palace
passes
she should fill it with bats
bats and sadness and crying because MY PARENTS ARE DEAD
how much dead body space does it have?
like, 20?
drew reccomends milk and honey
a THOUSAND ping pong balls
each more deadly than the last
bello lugosi
he played dracula
could you fill it with texas?
you could fill texas with like a million of it
PASSES
$4 to drew, marlena will chair
ANNOUNCEMENTS
EVENT
potluck in ontario
7:00
we'll bring soda
you should sign up in the googledoc and bring food!
bring your own serving utensils srsly
also don't crosspollenate serving utensils
also make a note of ingredients on dish
we put up thataway signs
if you bring them to us, you'll get 5 complex tim broman points
(take them down)
booth meetings well be on thursdays and saturdays, not this week
sweatshirts will be here soon
Exec meetings are at 5:00 on tuesdays in UC306
SCHMUCKS
various oakland places are doing $5 lunches every day this week! google oakland restaurant week maija is disappointed in us for not getting the reference to douglas adams come to the dropboat techtalk getbiglikeevan.blogspot.com samepicofdavecouliereveryday.tumblr.com
we are now in purple
