Jboning

Not unlike most members of the KGB, Josiah Boning exists. Also not unlike most members of the KGB, he is referred to by various names. Anything that matches /jb(\w*)/ is a likely fit. Some values of $1 to which he might actually respond:

• oning
• lanket
• aron
• oing
• aaawwwning
• onnet
• ear
• ooth
• uggy

Some values of $1 to which he will CERTAINLY NOT respond:

• oning when pronounced "owning". (Note that this is actually a lie--he will respond, but he rather prefers it to be pronounced properly, as in "aaawwwning".)
• enedetto