Jboning

Not unlike most members of the KGB, Josiah Boning exists. Also not unlike most members of the KGB, he is referred to by various names. Anything that matches /jb(\w*)/ is a likely fit. Some values of $1 to which he might actually respond:

• oning
• lanket
• aron
• oing
• aaawwwning
• onnet
• ear
• ooth
• uggy

Some values of $1 to which he will CERTAINLY NOT respond:

• oning when pronounced "owning". (Note that this is actually a lie--he will respond, but he rather prefers it to be pronounced properly, as in "aaawwwning".)
• enedetto

Officer Dossiers:

Recording Secretary, 2008-2009:

Josiah comes to us from Thomas Jefferson High School in Virginia... and you know what that means. Indeed, Josiah is not human, but rather a robot, sent in the place of the real student for reasons unknown. Despite this fact he is well accepted within the KGB since he's so friendly. That and he's likely to zap us with any of his 72 lasers if we don't.

A musician in his free time, Josiah's count of instruments is fairly impressive. More impressive though, is his ability to swallow each and every one of them whole. He usually does not perform such a feat, however, since he finds it much more enjoyable to strum a guitar than to digest one.

If you're happy and you know it, Josiah's left arm doubles as a weed whacker and his right, a vernier caliper.

Australian Totem Animal: the kangaroo

Written by: eforney

Preceded by dbesse

Recording Secretary 2009-2010

Succeeded by $NEW_RECSEC