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Officer Dossiers:

Recording Secretary 2010-2011:

Originally from New Jersey. Athletically capable, strength again unremarkable. His hair appears to be a separate entity from his body. Somehow this causes a glitch in our simulation getting him killed off every time. This is being worked on. Responds poorly to baseball bats and broomsticks for some reason. Has an annoying tendency to speak certain things which get everyone nearby to want to shut him up.

Test 1: Deadpan Snarker

Test 2: Test failed to produce non glitch result/Bloody Hilarious

Test 3: Would be attacked by first person he meets... however if he survives he could have quite a game.

Film Version: The Smart(ass) Guy/Died Laughing

Written by: Arsenij

Preceded by
Josiah Boning
Recording Secretary
Succeeded by
Timothy Broman