Difference between revisions of "Mglisson"

Latest revision as of 00:08, 22 April 2016

If the President is the soul of the organization, the Second Vice-President the body, the Sergeant at Arms the hands, and the Corresponding Secretary the gaping, toothy maw, Matt Glisson (43 Octember 1947 - January 16 1977 - ???) is the fuzzy, twitching right eyebrow of the KGB.

It is widely believed that Mglisson is the oldest living fish on campus. If not, he is trying to mate with her.

Officer Dossiers:

Sergeant at Arms, 2007-2008:

Matthew Glisson was a highly successful rock star in the 950’s, back when ‘the axe’ referred to something literal. Glisson was actually the pioneer of the term as it applies to the modern guitar since after every battle he would hold a rock concert by plucking the various human detritus that got stuck to his weapon. The managers of the Killer Fighting League thought he would be an excellent representative to put on during Viking Week, but were disappointed to find him a clean-shaven and relatively even-tempered man, so he was relegated to the 2:00 AM battles and denied a ticket home. To this day he prefers to think of himself as a musician, not a fighter, but since the only way he knows to string his instrument involves the dismemberment of no less than 14 people, he is likely to continue to do well in the Killer Fighting League.

SPECIAL MOVE: Star Power (score a 50-hit combo)

Written by: jgg

First Vice President, 2008-2009:

Born on the Tennessee River in a submarine made entirely out of Lego bricks, Glisson has always had a special place in the watery depths of his heart (his blood, however, is thicker than water) for all things aquatic and/or mechanical. He can become a deadly velociraptor at moment's notice, and runs a successful raptor attack safety consulting firm.

You may call him Matt, but there are so many Matts that the Chrises are jealous, so he may continue to doze peacefully atop his sweet crumbly muffin without noticing your call. The call of Cthulhu, however, he will never ignore.

To keep himself in fighting form, Glisson does laps in a tank of ferrofluid dressed in chainmail. A welding accident in his youth left him unable to pronounce the word "weekend."

Written by: ntr

President, 2009-2010:

Actually a post Zombie attack time traveling survivor, Glisson returns once again to lead the special forces in a rebellion before they are attacked. Armed with a smile that would make Davy Crockett back down, he is preparing to bend space, time and large numbers of students to his will. Always prepared to ally with the nearest non-undead entity his army grows in ranks by the day.

Written by: dkozel

(2-for-1 special?!)

Glisson claims to come from Knoxville but his distinct lack of accent and talons suggest otherwise. When particularly hungry, he transforms into a frightening raptor which you most certainly do not want to cross. This ability he acquired while vacationing through time and space to when the Earth was young in his time-traveling dirigible, the S. S. Gumdrop.

When Glisson is content, he can be found whipping up a quick animation or whipping down the tyrants of the lower realms whilst humming some of his favorite folk songs. To keep limber so that he is always prepared for the potato uprising he exercises with some nose stretches.

If ever you find yourself enshrouded with a strange blue mist, know that somewhere Glisson has mispronounced something.

Australian Totem Animal: the platypus

Written by: eforney